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AMAZONS 


A  FARCE  IN  TF.REE  ACTS 


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FARCICAL  ROMANCE  IN 
THREE  ACTS 


ARTHUR  W.  PINERO 

0.  77Vf 


All  rights  reserved  under  the  Internatioivl  Copyright  Act. 
Performance  forbidden,  and  right  of  representation  reserved. 
Application  for  the  right  of  performing  the  above  piece  must 
be  made  to  the  publishers. 


BOSTON 


^aJI^Z/^a^Jir-;^^^ 


THE  PERSONS  OF  THE  PLAY. 


Baruinqton,  Viscount  Litterly. 
CiALFKEi),  Earl  of  Tweenwayes. 
Anukk,  Count  de  Grival. 
Rev.  Roger  Minchin. 
FiTTON  (a  Gamekeeper). 
You  ATT  (a  Servant). 
Orts  (a  Poacher). 

Miriam,  Marchioness  of  Castlejordan. 

Lady  Noeline  Belturbet, 

Lady  Wimiklmina  Belturbet,     [(her  daughters). 

Lady  Thomasin  Belturbet, 

"Sergeant"  Shuter. 


The  scene  is  laid  first  m  "  The  Tangle,"  an  overgroion  comer 
of  Overcote  Park,  and  afterwards  at  Overcote  Hall.  Great 
Overcote,  as  everybodij  knoios,  is  a  tioo-hours'  railtoay  jour- 
ney from  toivn.  The  events  of  the  play  occicr  during  a 
single  day  in  a  fine  September. 


Copyright,  1895,  by  Arthub  W.  Pinkro. 


All  rights  reserved. 


:./t6^ 


INTRODUCTORY   NOTE. 


Although  "  The  Amazons"  was  presented  to  the  pub- 
lic a  couple  of  months  earlier  than  "The  Second  Mrs. 
Tanqueray,"  it  was  actually  a  later  work ;  indeed,  Mr. 
Pinero  may  be  said  to  have  written  this  merry  and  fan- 
tastic little  play  by  way  of  relaxation  after  the  more  serious 
mental  effort  involved  in  the  composition  of  the  famous 
drama  which  told  the  tragic  story  of  Paula  Tanqueray. 
Curiously  enough,  this  delightful  "farcical  romance,"  in 
the  writing  of  which  Mr.  Pinero  was  apparently  prompted 
by  no  more  weighty  motive  than  the  indulgence  of  his 
own  playful  fancy,  for  all  the  amusement  it  was  worth, 
stands  in  order  of  composition  immediately  between  "  The 
Second  Mrs.  Tanqueray  "  and  "  The  Notorious  Mrs.  Ebb- 
smith."  It  may  thus  be  regarded  as  a  remarkable  evi- 
dence of  its  author's  versatility.  Here  he  attempted  no 
criticism  of  life,  he  sought  to  solve  no  problem  of  morality, 
sociology,  or  psychology  ;  he  merely  permitted  himself  to 
dally  with  the  "mannish  woman"  idea  in  the  lightest, 
gentlest  spirit  of  satire,  and  in  a  most  whimsical  mood  of 
romance.  In  the  Tangle  of  Overcote  Park  we  seem  to 
hear  distant  laughing  echoes  from  the  Forest  of  Arden, 
and  in  Lady  Noeline  Belturbet  and  Barrington,  Viscount 
Litterly,  we  fancy  we  recognise  the  descendants  of  Rosa- 
lind and  Orlando. 

Mr.  Arthur  Chudleigh  produced  "The  Amazons  "  at 
the  Court  Theatre  on  Tuesday,  March  7th,  1893,  when 


4  THE   AMAZONS. 

its  reception  at  the  hands  of  the  public  was  very  cordial. 
The  following  is  a  copy  of  the  first  night  programme  :  — 


Froiinifnme. 


ON    TUESDAY,    MARCH    7th,   1893, 
WILL    BK   ACTED    FOR    THK    FIRST   TIME 

THE   AMAZONS 
An  Original  Farcical  Romance. 


A.   W.    PINERO. 


Gaiprri),  Earl  of  Tweenwayes 
Harrington,  Viscount  Litterly 
Andre,  Count  db  Grival 
Rev.  Roger  Minchin 
FiLTON  {A  Gamekeeper  ) 
Youatt  (/4  Servant)   . 
Orts  (A  Poacher) 


Miriam,  Marchioness  of  Castlkjordan 
Lady  Noblinb  Belturbet 


WAYES       . 

.     Mr. 

Wbedon  Grossmith 

rTERLY 

.     Mr. 

F.  Kerr. 

.     Mr. 

Elliott. 

.     Mr. 

J.  Beauchamp. 

.    Mr. 

W.  Quinton. 

.     Mr. 

COMPTON    CoUTTS. 

.     Mr. 

R.  Nainbv. 

Lady    Wilhelmina      Bbl- 

TURBBT 

Lady   Thomasin    Beltur- 

BBT 

"Sbrgbant"  Shutbr 


Miss  Rose  Leclercq. 
Miss  Lily  Hanburv. 

( By     Permission     of    Mr. 
Beerbohm  Tree.) 

Miss  Ellalink  Terriss. 

Miss  Pattib  Browne. 
{Her   First  Appearance   in 
England.) 
Miss  Marianne  Caldwell. 


The  scene  is  laid  first  in  "  The  Tangle,"  an  overgrown  corner  of 
Overcote  Park,  and  afterwards  at  Overcote  Hall.  Great  Overcote, 
as  everybody  knows,  is  a  two-hours'  railway  journey  from  town.  The 
events  of  the  play  occur  during  a  single  day  in  a  fine  September. 

The  scenery  is  painted  by  Mr.  T.  W.  Hall. 

The  music  in  the  Play  has  been  composed  by  Mr.  Edward  Jones, 


INTRODUCTORY  NOTE.  5 

"  The  Amazons  "  ran  at  the  Court  Theatre  until  July 
8th,  by  which  date  a  hundred  and  eleven  performances 
had  been  given,  a  record  which  spells  success,  although 
it  does  not  equal  the  figures  of  Mr.  Pinero's  robuster  and 
less  fantastic  farces,  such  as  "The  Magistrate,"  "The 
Schoolmistress,"  and  "  Dandy  Dick." 

A  successful  tour  of  the  provinces  was  made  under  the 
auspices  of  Mr.  Fred  G.  Latham  and  the  late  T.  W, 
Robertson,  while  at  the  Antipodes  considerable  pros- 
perity has  attended  the  merry  little  play,  Messrs.  Brough 
and  Boucicault  having  been  its  Australian  sponsors. 

The  greatest  success,  however,  yet  achieved  by  "The 
Amazons,"  has  been  in  America.  Mr.  Daniel  Frohman 
produced  it  quite  unostentatiously  at  the  Lyceum  Theatre, 
New  York,  and  its  triumph  was  immediate.  The  fresh- 
ness, delicate  humour,  and  unconventionality  of  the  piece, 
and  the  quaint  prettiness  of  the  girls'  masculine  attire, 
captivated  the  playgoers  of  New  York,  and  "  The  Ama- 
zons "  became  the  talk  of  the  town.  Presented  first  in 
February,  1894,  it  ran  for  eighteen  or  nineteen  weeks 
in  New  York,  the  demand  for  seats  being  so  great  as  to 
justify  the  management  in  raising  the  prices  in  certain 
parts  of  the  house.  Similar  popularity  lias  accompanied 
the  piece  throughout  the  United  States,  where  it  is  about 
to  commence  its  second  season  "  on  the  road." 

Malcolm  C.  Salaman, 
LOHDOS, /une,  1895. 


Digitized  by  tine  Internet  Arciiive 

in  2008  witii  funding  from 

IVIicrosoft  Corporation 


littp://www.arcli  ive.org/details/amazonsfarcicalrOOpine 


THE    AMAZONS. 

THE   FIRST   ACT. 

The  scene  represents  a  thickly-wooded,  overgrown 
corner  of  Overcote  Park.  There  is  a  small  clear- 
itig  up  to  a  dense  thicket  and  a  ragged  hedge, 
which  is  broken  by  an  old  jive-barred  gate,  while 
prominently  in  the  foreground  are,  on  the  left  the 
stutnp  of  a  felled  tree,  and  on  the  right  an  old  tree 
with  a  li'ide  holloiu  ifi  its  trunk.  Beyond  the  gate 
is  a  prospect  of  a  woodland,  pierced  by  gleatns  of 
bright  light.  It  is  a  fine,  7varm  morning  in  Sep- 
tember ;  some  golden  leaves  are  on  the  trees,  a  few 
have  fallen.  The  whole  scene  is  zvarmly  coloured 
and  poetical  in  suggestion. 

YouATT,  an  aged  servant  in  livery,  opens  the  gate  for 
the  Rev.  Roger  Minchin,  tvho  advances  on  to 
the  clearing.  Minchin  is  a  type  of  the  country 
parson  of  the  old  school,  white- haired^  red-faced, 
hearty  in  tnanner. 

Minchin. 
No  sign  of  her  ladyship  here,  Youatt. 

You  ATT. 

We'll  find  her,  Mr.  Minchin. 


8  THE  AMAZONS. 

MiNCHIN. 

[  Wiping  his  brow.'\  Ouf  ! 

[Closing  the  gate.']  My  lady  and  the  family  are 
very  partial  to  the  Tangle  o'  fine  days. 

MiNCHIN. 

The  Tangle  ? 

YOUATT. 

That's  what  the  family  call  this  corner  o'  the 
park,  sir.  \L00ki71g  off  and  removing  his  cap.]  'Ere  is 
my  lady. 

[Miriam,  Marchioness  of  Castlejordan, 
approaches,  carrying  a  camp-stool.  She 
is  a  tall,  splendidly- handsome  woman  of 
middle-age. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

[Shaking  hands  heartily  with  MiNCHiN.]  Mr. 
Minchin  ! 

MiNCHIN. 

How  are  you  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
You  so  seldom  come  to  see  me.     Shall  we  walk 
back  to  the  Hall? 

MiNCHIN. 

[Puffing.]  If  you  don't  mind,  I  — 


THE  AMAZONS.  9 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Get  your  wind — certainly.  \To  Youatt.]  Has 
Shuter  gone  to  the  station  to  meet  Lord  Noel  ? 

Youatt. 
I  b'lieve  so,  m'lady. 

\y.o\5KTi  goes  away  through  the  gateway?^ 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Well !     I  see  what  you're  thinking  about. 

MiNCHIN. 

Lord  Noel  —  that's  Lady  Noeline  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
From  your  point  of  view,  yes. 

MiNCHIN. 

Oh,  dear,  oh,  dear  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Noel  has  been  staying  with  Mrs.  Vipont  in  town 
for  some  weeks.  The  Viponts  have  been  kept  in 
London,  you  know,  by  the  late  session.  I've 
missed  Noel  sadly.  [Referring  to  her  watch.']  He 
will  be  at  the  Hall  in  half-an-hour, 

MiNCHIN. 

Will  he  !    And  your  two  other  gir  —  boys  ? 


10  THE  AMAZONS. 

Lady  Castlfjordan. 

They  spent  tlieir  August  in  Scotland ;  they've 
been  home  some  days.  [  Walking  about  restlessly.^ 
It  chafes  me  so  to  think  I  am  not  at  the  station 
myself  to  meet  my  eldest  son. 

MiNCHIN. 

You've  deputed  —  whom  did  I  hear  you  say? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Sergeant  Shuter. 

MiNCHIN. 

Man  or  woman  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
From  your  point  of  view,  woman,  I  suppose. 

MiNCHIN, 

Why  Sergeant  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Late  husband  held  that  rank  in  Castlejordan 's 
old  regiment. 

MiNCHIN. 

What  duties  does  she  —  he  — perform  here  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Teaches  my  boys  boxing,  fencing,  athletics  gene- 
rally. 


THE  AMAZONS.  ii 

MiNCHIN. 

[Groa7iingP\^     Oh  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

A  splendid  fellow.  At  the  same  time,  I  should 
dearly  like  to  have  gone  to  Scrumleigh  station  to 
meet  Noel. 

MiNCHIN. 

You're  detained  here,  I  gather  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Detained  !  I  don't  venture  beyond  the  park  now- 
a-days  more  than  I  can  help.  You  know  why, 
surely  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

H'm!     Well  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

You  know  what  they  call  me  outside,  at  Great 
Overcote,  and  Little  Overcote,  and  at  Scrumleigh 
—  ah,  even  in  London  ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Yes,  yes. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

The  Eccentric  Lady  Castlejordan.  \^Scornfully.'\ 
Eccentric ! 

MiNCHIN. 

My  dear  Lady  Castlejordan,  the  truth  is  that  I've 
presumed  to  call  on  you  this  morning  in  the  hope 


12  THE  AMAZONS. 

that  I  may  be  permitted  to  modestly  reason  with 
you  on  this  very  subject. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Again  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

Once  more. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Sit  down. 

\_They   sit ;  she  on   the  camp-stool,  he  on  the 
stump  of  a  tree. 

MiNCHIN. 

To  begin  with,  it  would  be  disingenuous  to  con- 
ceal from  you  that  I  do  constantly  hear  very  severe 
strictures  passed  upon  your  line  of  conduct. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

You've  heard  them  for  the  last  ten  years,  ever 
since  my  husband  died. 

MiNCHIN. 

But  these  strictures  are  more  severe  now  than 
ever,  and  with  some  justice.  When  your  children 
7i.iere  children  there  was  small  harm  in  your  play- 
fully regarding  them  as  boys  and  allowing  them  to 
romp  and  riot.  But  to-day  here  are  three  young 
women  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Nol 


THE  AMAZONS.  13 

MlNCHIN. 

Three  strapping  young  women  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
No! 

MiNCHIN. 

I  will  repeat,  I  do  repeat,  three  bouncing  young 
women ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Well,  in  detail,  I  admit  my  children  are  perhaps 
what  you  describe.  But  in  disposition,  in  mind,  in 
muscle,  they  are  three  fine,  stalwart  young  fellows. 

MiNCHIN. 

But  Great  Overcote,  and  Little  Overcote,  and 
Scrumleigh  do  not  look  upon  them  as — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Are  Great  Overcote,  and  Little  Overcote,  and 
Scrumleigh  competent  judges  of  my  bitter  heart- 
burnings and  disappointments  ?  You  knew  Jack, 
my  husband  .'' 

MiNCHIN. 

Ah,  yes,  indeed. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
What  was  he  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

A  gentle  giant.  A  grand  piece  of  muscular 
humanity.  In  frame,  the  Vikings  must  have  been 
of  the  same  pattern. 


14  THE  AMAZONS. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
And  you  remember  me  as  I  was  twenty  years  ago  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

[Looking  at  her.']     I've  no  excuse  for  forgetting. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
I  was  a  fit  mate  for  my  husband  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

Perfect. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Even  in  Jack's  time  I  never  scaled  less  than  ten 
stone,  and  he  could  lift  me  as  if  I  were  a  sawdust 
doll.  Old  friend  — !  Oh,  old  friend,  what  a  son 
my  son  and  Jack's  ought  to  have  been ! 

[She  goes  to  the  gate  and  leans  upon  it,  turn- 
ing her  back  to  Minchin,  who  has  also 
risen. 

Minchin. 

But  —  but  —  but  it  didn't  please  Providence  to 
send  you  a  son. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
[Beating  the  gate.]     Oh  !     Oh  ! 

Minchin. 

Come,  come,  do  learn  to  view  the  matter  re- 
signedly ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  15 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Girls !  girls ! 

MiNCHIN. 

It's  an  old  story  now  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Girls  ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Why  despise  girls  ?  Many  people  like  girls.  Bless 
my  heart,  /  like  girls ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

You  can  recall  Noeline's  arrival.  I  was  sure  she 
was  going  to  be  a  boy  —  so  was  Jack.  I  knew  it  — 
so  did  Jack.  The  child  was  to  have  been  christened 
Noel,  Jack's  second  name. 

MiNCHIN. 

Yes,  I  was  up  at  the  Hall  that  night,  smoking 
with  Castlejordan  to  keep  him  quiet. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Poor  dear,  I  remember  his  bending  over  me  after- 
wards and  whispering  "  Damn  it,  Miriam,  you've 
lost  a  whole  season's  hunting  for  nothing  !  "  Then 
the  second  — 

MiNCHIN. 

Lady  VVilhelmina. 


I6  THE  AMAZONS. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Yes,  Billy  came  next.  Jack  wouldn't  speak  to  me 
for  a  couple  of  months  after  that,  the  only  fall-out 
we  ever  had. 

MiNCHIN. 

But  your  third,  Lady  Thomasin  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Dearest  Tommy !  Oh,  by  that  time  Jack  and  I 
had  agreed  to  regard  anything  that  was  born  to  us 
as  a  boy  and  to  treat  it  accordingly,  and  for  the 
rest  of  his  life  my  husband  taught  our  three  chil- 
dren—  there  never  was  another  —  to  ride,  fish, 
shoot,  swim,  fence,  fight,  wrestle,  throw,  run,  jump, 
until  they  were  as  hardy  as  Indians  and  their 
muscles  burst  the  sleeves  of  their  jackets.  And, 
when  Jack  went,  I  continued  their  old  training.  Of 
course,  I  —  I  recognise  my  boys'  little  deficiencies, 
but  I'm  making  the  best  of  the  great  disappoint- 
ment of  my  life,  and  I  —  well,  call  me  the  eccentric 
Lady  Castlejordan  !     What  do  I  care  ? 

\^She  sitSy  wiping  her  eyes. 

MiNCHIN. 

Ah,  well,  well !  I've  great  sympathy.  But  I 
really  do  think  that  the  time  has  arrived  now  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Now !  Pardon  me,  but  you  can't  know  what 
you're  talking  about. 


THE   AMAZONS.  17 

MiNCHIN. 

Eh? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

You  haven't  forgotten,  have  you,  that  the  title 
went  to  my  husband's  brother  in  default  of  my 
being  the  mother  of  a  —  of  a  complete  boy  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

Of  course  I  haven't. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

And  that  this  man,  the  present  Lord  Castlejor- 
dan. a  wizen  creature  without  shoulders,  has  a  son  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

I  know  that. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

A  son !  And  Lady  Castlejordan  a  wisp  of  a 
woman  with  a  mouth  like  a  rabbit's !  And  they 
have  a  son  ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Lord  Litterly.     He's  at  Oxford. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

He  has  just  come  down.  And  what  do  you 
think !  That  young  man  has  carried  everything 
before  him  at  the  University  —  everything  ! 


l8  THE  AMAZONS. 

MiNcniN. 

Why,  I  heard  he'd  failed  even  to  take  a  pass 
degree. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Bother  his  degree  !  He  was  first  string  in  the 
mile  and  quarter-mile  against  Cambridge  at  Queen's 
Club  ;  he  got  his  cricket  blue  and  came  within  two 
of  making  his  century  at  Lord's  ;  and  in  Rugby 
football  he  was  the  best  three-quarter  back  in  the 
Oxford  fifteen  that's  been  known  for  the  last  five- 
and-twenty  years.     Oh  !  the  torture  of  it ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Now,  come,  come  !     I  don't  see —  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

You  don't  see  that  this  is  the  son  Jack  and  I 
ought  to  have  had  !  No  !  \pacing  to  and  fro\  Heav- 
ens, if  this  young  man  had  been  sickly,  stunted, 
freckled,  weak,  anaemic,  red-eyed,  narrow-chested — ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Hush,  hush ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Or,  better  still,  humpbacked,  with  one  short  leg, 
it  might  have  made  me  a  more  contented,  gentler 
woman  !     But   as  it  is  — 

MiNCHIN. 

Now,  now  I 


THE  AMAZONS.  19 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

And  you  choose  this  moment  for  suggesting  that 
I  should  look  matters  straight  in  the  face  and  realize 
the  melancholy  maternal  muddle  I've  made. 

MiNCHIN. 

You  know,  I've  had  an  idea  for  some  time  past  — 
but,  there,  you're  not  on  friendly  terms  with  the 
present  Lord  Castlejordan  and  his  family  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
\^Indignantly.'\     Friendly  terms  ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Because  it  has  often  struck  me  that  it  might  be  a 
small  consolation  to  you  to  know  this  young  man  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Never ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Tut,  tut !  You  might  grow  to  be  fond  of  Lord 
Litterly. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Fond  of  him!  Fond  of  the  youth  that  Nature  — 
Nature,  for  whom  I've  done  so  much!  —  has  taken 
from  me  and  given  to  that  insignificant  little  woman  ! 
No,  never  shall  one  of  us  exchange  a  word  even  with 
one  of  them  I     Never,  I  say  !     Never! 

MiNCHIN. 

Oh,  dear,  oh,  dear 


20  THE  AMAZONS. 

[Lady  Wilhelmina  Belturbet  efiters,  below  the 
hedge.  She  is  a  sweef-Iooking  girl  of  ninetee?i, 
quiet.,  gentle  and  feminine.  Her  attire  is  a  com- 
promise between  a  boy's  and  a  woman's  ;  her  "  Nor- 
folk "  jacket  reaches  almost  to  her  knees  and  her 
lower  limbs  are  encased  in  stout  leathern  gaiters. 
She  carries  afishi?ig-rod  in  its  case  and,  across  her 
shoulders,  a?i  ordinary  wicker  fishing-basket. 

Wilhelmina. 

Why,  it's  Mr.  Minchin  !  \ Shaking  hands  with  him 
ii>armly.]    Ah,  mother  dear  !     Mr.  Minchin ' 

Minchin. 
And,  how  are  you,  hey  .''     Any  sport  ? 

Wilhelmina. 

I'm  on  my  way  down.  There's  a  little  too  much 
wind,  I  fancy  ;  [slipping  her  basket  from  her  shoulders^ 
I've  turned  into  the  siielter  here  to  tie  a  fly. 

Minchin. 
[Opening  the  basket. '\     Let  me  help  you. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
What  is  Tommy  doing  this  morning  ? 

Wilhelmina. 
Giving  the  grey  mare  a  lesson  over  the  hurdles. 

Minchin. 
H'm,  dangerous  work  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  21 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

[  Walking  awaj'.]     Please    don't  put   such    ideas 
into  my  boys'  heads. 

[MiNCHiN  aui/  WiLHELMiNA  sif  sidc-by-side 
on  the  stiwip  of  the  tree,  he  zvith  her 
tacklebook  in  his  hand. 

MiNCHIN. 

\_Putting  on  his  spectacles.']    Now  then  !     What  are 
your  flies  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

Red  Septembers  and  Mottled  Spinners. 

MlNCHIN. 

Ah,  you're  a  knowing  one.  \^He  ties  thefiy. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Have  you  and  mother  been  talking  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

What  d'ye  think  we  have  been  doing  —  playing 
leap-frog  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

I  mean  talking  about  us  gir  —  boys  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

H'm !     Pliers. 

WiLHELMINA. 

\Handing   the  pliers.]     I  guess   you   have.     Mr. 


22  THE  AMAZONS. 

Minchin,  dear,  mother  isn't  worried  about  us,  is  she 
—  me  particularly? 

Minchin. 

I  can  answer  that.     No  she  isn't  —  /am.     Silk. 

WiLHELMINA. 

{^Giving  t/ie  si/k  to  him.']     I'm  glad  she's  not  wor-    . 
ried.     Because,  do  you  know,  I'm  afraid  I'm  going 
to  be  a  great  sorrow  to  her. 

Minchin. 
You! 

WiLHELMINA. 

I've  a  foreboding  I  shall  turn  out  badly. 

Minchin. 
In  what  way  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh,  I'm  getting  worse  every  day,  Mr.  Minchin. 
I — I'm  becoming  so  very  effeminate.  [^Hc  /ooks  at 
her  for  a  moment,  then  chuckhs.']  Hush,  hush  ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Ho,  ho !     Scissors.     Go  on. 

WlI.HKI.MINA. 

It's  nice  to  talk  to  you.  Shall  I  tell  you  some- 
thing very  —  well,  rather  —  funny  about  Tommy 
and  myself  ? 


THE  AMAZONS.  23 

MiNCHIN. 

Do,  if  you  ought  to. 

WiLHELMINA. 

I  don't  think  I  ought  to. 

MiNCHIN. 

\Gravely^  Well  then,  my  dear,  if  you  are  at  all 
uncertain  about  it  perhaps  it  would  be  better  — 

WiLHELMINA. 

Yes,  you're  right. 

MiNCHIN. 

Perhaps  it  would  be  better  that  you  should  tell 
me. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh  !  Well,  you  know  Tommy  and  I  have  been 
staying  up  at  Drumdurris  with  little  Lady  Drum. 

MiNCHIN. 

Have  you  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

There  was  a  very  large  house-party,  men  and 
women.  \^He  glances  involuntarily  at  her  gaiters.'] 
Oh,  we  always  visit  in  our  skirts,  of  course. 

MiNCHIN. 

Yes,  yes,  yes. 


24  THE  AMAZONS. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Well  —  you'll  never  guess  !  —  Tommy  had  an 
offer  of  marriage. 

MiNCHIN. 

\Laughing?\     Ho,  ho  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Hush  !     You'll  fall  off. 

MiNCHIN. 

That  tom-boy  too !  Now,  if  such  a  thing  had 
happened  to  yon  I  — 

WiLHELMINA. 

Mr.  Minchin ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Eh 

WiLHELMINA. 

It  did  happen  to  me  also.  \_Lookmg  round.'] 
Mother  !  [Lady  Castlejordan  reappears.']  I'm  in 
the  way,  I  expect. 

MiNCHIN. 

\_Still  laughing.]     No,  no. 

WiLHELMINA. 

My  fly,  please.     Thank  you. 

\_She  takes  the  fly  from  him ;  the  hook  runs 
into  his  finger. 


THE  AMAZONS.  25 

MiNCHIN. 

[  Yelling?^     Yah  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

You're  hooked !    \_Extracting  the  /look.']    I  am  sorry. 
[^She  gathers  her  tackle  together  and  goes  to 
the  gate. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
[71?  MiNCHiN.]     I  heard  your  laugh  a  long  way 
off.     What  amuses  you  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

[In  pain.']     Got  a  hook  in  my  finger. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
How  good  humoured  you  are  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Here's  Tommy  !  [Calling.]  Tom  !  Holloa  —a  —a  ! 
[The  call  is  returned  and  Lady  Thomasin  Beltur- 
BET,  a  bright,  rosy,  rather  rough-mannered  girl  of 
eighteen,  appears  and  leaps  the  gate.  She  is  in 
man's  riding-dress,  smartly  and  perfectly  turned- 
out  from  cap  to  boots. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Mr.  Minchin  has  called  to  see  us. 

Thomasin. 
{^Shaking  hands  heartily  with  Minchin.]     Good 


36  THE   AMAZON'S. 

man  !  How  are  you  ?  {^Kissing  Lady  Castlejor- 
i>AN.]  Missed  you  at  breakfast,  mater,  {lo  Min- 
CHiN.]  How's  the  old  horse  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

\^Shakitig  his  hcati.'\     Ah  ! 

Thomasin. 

I  thought  he  went  rather  gingerly  on  that  near 
fore  of  his  when  you  rode  over  in  the  summer.  Look 
here,  you  come  and  have  a  spin  with  me  round  the 
park  one  morning ;  we'll  give  you  a  mount.  What 
d'ye  say  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

\^Looking  her  up  and doicn.']  My  young  friend,  I'm 
afraid  I  could  not  ride  with  you  while  you  are  in 
such  an  attire  as  I  now  see  you  in  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

[Interposing.']  Er  —  Mr.  Minchin.  Tommy,  talk 
to  your  brother. 

[Thomasin  y'tf/wj  Wilhelmina,  and  they  talk 
together. 

MiNCHIN. 

[Advancing  to  Lady  Castlejordan,  speaking  in  an 
undertone.']  Lady  Castlejordan,  I  —  I  must  say  it  — 
I  am  a  little  shocked. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
I  don't  understand  you. 


THE  AMAZONS.  27 

MiNCHIN. 

Pardon  me,  is  that  a  proper  dress  for  a  young 
woman  to  scamper  about  in  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

It  is  all  a  question  of  environment.  The  poor 
African  in  her  solitary  row  of  beads  is  as  discreet  as 
the  best  dressed  woman  in  town.  I  will  not  have 
my  boys'  unconsciousness  disturbed. 

MiNCHIN. 

I  ought  to  tell  you  this.  I  hear  that  the  Overcote 
and  Scrumleigh  people  spend  the  afternoons  of  their 
early-closing  Wednesdays  in  hanging  about  the 
skirts  of  your  park. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Vulgar  curiosity ! 

MiNCHIN. 

There,  I  wonder  your  park  has  skirts ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

I  have  built  five  lodges  round  Overcote  Park, 
expressly  to  protect  us  from  intruders;  with  the 
exception  of  one  privileged  old  friend — yourself  — 
no  one  enters  the  park  but  on  my  fortnightly  Thurs- 
days. 

MiNCHIN. 

[^Glancing  over  his  shoulder i\     And  then  —  ? 


28  THE  AMAZONS. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Then  my  boys  disguise  themselves  in  petticoats. 
I  think  1  may  boast  that  no  boys  have  sweeter 
frocks  than  my  boys. 

[WiLHELMiNA  atid  Thomasin  stroll  away. 

MiNCHIN. 

\_Seeitig  that  he  is  alone  7vith  Lady  Castlejordan.] 
H'm  !  one  word  more,  Lady  Castlejordan.  Assum- 
ing, just  for  the  sake  of  argument,  that  your  boys 
are  girls,  may  I  ask  what  you'd  do  if  they  should 
ever  be  asked  in  marriage  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
{^Agitated.']     Ah !     Oh,  my  dear  Mr.  Minchin ! 

MiNCHIN. 

\Triumphantly?\     Aha ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Do  you  know  you've  chanced  on  a  supposition 
that  has  been  a  reality  !  While  Willy  and  Tommy 
—  well,  Wilhelmina  and  Thomasin  —  were  staying 
at  Drumdurris  Castle,  two  men  fell  in  love  with 
them ! 

Minchin. 

And  in  the  name  of  common-sense,  why  not  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Men  I  call  them !  Insects !  Merciful  Powers, 
one  was  a  Frenchman  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  29 

MiNCHIN. 

Well  —  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
A  creature  who  has  doubtless  shot  a  fox ! 

MiNCHIN. 

The  other  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Little  Lord  Tweenwayes. 

MiNCHIN. 

Tweenwayes !     A  fine  race,  the  Fitzbrays. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Fine  ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Why  Godefroy  de  Fitz  Braye  was  one  of  Rich- 
ard's Knights  in  the  Crusade. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

No  Fitzbray  has  ever  stood  higher  than  five  feet 
five  in  his  boots.  They're  a  shrivelled,  puny  line. 
The  present  Lord  Tweenwayes  inherits  the  accu- 
mulated ailments  of  all  his  ancestors,  and  he  pre- 
sumes — ! 

Thomasin  and  Wilhelmina  re-appear. 

MiNCHIN. 

Ssh! 


30  THE  AMAZONS. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

\To  MiNCHiN.]  Walk  up  to  the  Hall  with  me  ; 
we  shall  just  be  in  time  to  greet  Lord  Noel.  I'll 
tell  you  about  this  business  as  we  stroll  along. 
My  dear  boys,  don't  come  with  us ;  it's  so  long 
since  I've  seen  Mr.  Minchin. 

[MiNCHiN  opens  the  gate. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Very  well,  mother  dear, 

Thomasin. 
All  right,  mater. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

\^As  she  and  Minchin  walk  atvay?^  Isn't  that 
Scrumleigh  church  chime.''     We  shall  be  late. 

[Minchin  and  Lady  Castlejordan  disap- 
pear.    Thomasin  sits  on  the  tree-stump. 

Thomasin. 
So  you  think  that,  do  you,  Billy  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

Sure  of  it. 

Thomasin. 

But  why  should  the  parson  concern  himself  about 
us  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

He  —  he  —  thinks  we're  girls,  you  know.  Tommy 
dear. 


THE  AMAZONS.  31 

Thomasin. 
Well,  we  ain't ^  my  dear  William,  so  he's  out  of  it. 

WiLHELMINA. 

\_Approcching  Thomasin  and  kneeling  beside  Aer.] 
Tom,  don't  you  ever  feel  like  a  girl  ? 

Thomasin. 
I !     Well,  I  should  hope  not. 

WiLHELMINA. 

But  how  do  you  know  you  don't }  I'm  sometimes 
afraid  /  do. 

Thomasin. 

That's  cos'  you  had  measles  too  late  in  life  and 
got  your  blood  thin.  You're  a  manly  young  chap 
enough,  considerin'. 

WiLHELMINA. 
Am  I? 

Thomasin. 

Of  course  you're  not  to  be  compared  with  old 
Noel.     He  is  the  pick  of  our  basket. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Yes,  he's  very  nice. 

Thomasin. 

Nice  !  What  silly  words  you  use  !  Why,  he's  the 
best  all-round  sportsman  our  side  of  the  county,  even 


32  THE  AMAZONS. 

J  own  that.  Nice  !  And  he's  a  fellow  that  reads 
books  too  —  /never  could  open  a  book.  Nice!  He 
—  he  —  well  he's  just  my  notion  of  what  a  young 
Englishman  ought  to  be.  Hullo !  What's  that  in 
the  hollow  of  that  tree  ? 

WiLHELMINA, 

\_Quickly  going  across  to  the  tree.']  Oh,  can  you 
see  it  1 

Thomasin. 
See  it  1 

WiLHELMINA. 

It  must  have  slipped  down  ;  it's  my  guitar. 

{Drawing  a  guitdr-case  from  the  hoUo7v  of  the 
tree. 

Thomasin. 

What  the  dooce  —  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Mother  heard  me  playing  in  my  room  and  stopped 
me.     She  says  it's  girlish. 

Thomasin, 

Rubbish  !  The  Troubadours  always  played  guitars. 
Oh,  I  say,  ain't  I  well-informed? 

WiLHELMINA. 

{^Taking  the  guitar  from  its  ease.]  So  I  hid  it  here 
thinking  I'd  creep  down  to  the  Tangle  sometimes 
and  sing  to  myself. 


THE  AMAZONS.  33 

Thomasin. 

Hard  lines !     Won't  the  mater  let  you  play  any- 
thing ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

\Tutii7ig  the  guitar.']     She's  promised  to  give  me 
a  cornet. 

Thomasin. 

Good  business !     Tune    up,   William.     Anything 
pretty  —  bar  love-rot,  you  know. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Ah,  it's  so  damp  ! 

\As  WiLHELMINA  is  aboiit  to  sing,  Thomasin 
raises  herself  suddenly. 

Thomasin. 

Look  out !     Who's  coming  ? 

[WiLHELMINA  hastily  conceals  the  giiitar  and 
case  below  the  tree.  Lady  Noeline  Bel- 
TURBET  and  Shuter  are  seen  going  to- 
wards the  gate.  Noeline  is  a  handsome, 
imperious  girl  of  tivetity ;  she  wears  the 
ordinary  travelling  costume  of  a  young 
lady.  Shuter  is  a  good-looking  woman 
of  about  thirty,  suggesting  by  her  manner 
and  dress  an  association  with  the  army. 
Noeline  has  a  set,  serious  look  on  her  face. 
Shuter  carries  a  travelling  bag. 


WiLHELMINA. 


Noel 


34  THE  AMAZONS. 

Thomasin. 
\Jutnping  up.~\     Noel! 

Noel. 
Boys ! 

[WiLHELMINA    a7ld    ThOMASIN    gt ip    NOEL- 

ine's  hands  iti  manly  fashion. 

NoELINE. 

How  are  you  ? 

Thomasin. 
How  are  you  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

How  are  you  ? 

NOELINE. 

How's  the  mother? 

Thomasin. 
She  was  here  just  now  with  Mr.  Minchin 

WiLHELMINA. 

They've   gone   up   to    the    Hall,  to  meet  you,  I 
expect. 

NOELINE. 

I  got  out  of  the  carriage  at  the  East  Lodge  for 
the  sake  of  a  walk  across  the  park.     Sergeant ! 

Shuter. 
Yes,  m'lord. 


THE  AMAZONS.  35 

No  E  LINE. 

Go   on    ahead.     Tell    my   mother   where   I    am. 
Don't  stare  at  me  like  that,  please. 

Shuter. 
All  right,  m'lord.     \_She  goes  off  through  the  gate. 

Wilhelmina. 

What  is  the  Sergeant  staring  at .''     {^Looking  into 
Noeline's /«<:<?.]     Oh  ! 

Thomasin. 

\^Lookmg  at  Noeline.]     By  Jove,  you  don't  look 
very  fit ! 

Noeline. 
\_ImpatientiyP\     Nonsense ! 

Thomasin. 
Glad  to  get  back  ? 

Noeline. 

\_Putting   her   hands    on    their   shoulders.'^     Glad ! 
Rather  ! 

Thomasin. 
Good  man  ! 

Noeline. 

[  Wearily.']  Let's  sit  down.     Perhaps  I  am  rather 
out  of  condition.     London  isn't  Scotland. 

[Thomasin  hands  Noeline  a  cigarette  case, 
from  which  she  takes  a  cigarette,  passing 
on  the  case  to  Wilhelmina. 


36  THE  AMAZONS. 

WiLHELMINA. 

\Taking  a  cigarette^   Thanks  ! 

[  77iey  light  their  cigarettes. 

Thomasin. 

You'll  find  these  something  good  ;  I'm  giving  a 
new  firm  a  leg-up. 

NOELINE. 

Boys,  I  had  your  letters.     So  you  got  into  a  little 
dilTiculty  at  Drumdurris  ? 

Thomasin. 
Tweenwayes. 

NOELINE. 

Proposed,  didn't  he  .' 

Thomasin. 
I  should  think  he  did  ! 

NOELINE. 

Nuisance,  eh? 

Thomasin. 

Horrid  bore.     Enough  to  turn  any  fellow  against 
his  holidays. 

NOELINE. 

What  about  you,  Willy? 

Wtlhelmina. 

\^Tnrning aivay  slightly. '\  A  friend  of  Lord  Tween- 
wayes. 


THE   AMAZONS.  37 

Thomasin. 

Andre  de  Grival.  You  know,  the  usual  thing— 
plenty  of  moustache  and  vivacity. 

NOELINE. 

Proposed  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

\Jn  a  low  voice.  ]  Oh,  yes. 

Thomasin. 

\_Strutting  about.']  They  behaved  decently,  I  will 
say  ;  they  did  go  to  Lady  Drumdurris  first,  and 
Egidia  in  a  great  commotion  wrote  off  to  the  mater. 

WiLHELMINA. 

[^Sitting  on  the  tree-stufnp  beside  Noeline.]  But 
they  couldn't  wait  for  mother's  reply. 

Noeline. 
Caddish. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Perhaps  Monsieur   de    Grival  is  ignorant  of  our 

customs. 

Noeline. 
Tweenwayes  isn't. 

WiLHELMINA. 

\^Putting  her  arm  round  Noeline's  waist.]  You're 
vexed.  It  wasn't  our  fault.  [^Kissing  Noeline ///r- 
tively.]  You  know,  Tommy  looked  rather  pretty  up 
North. 


38  THE  AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

\_Looking  into  WiLHELMiNA's/<?rd'.]  I  dare  say. 

[NOELINE  kisses  WiLHELMINA. 
WiLHELMINA. 

\^Taking  Noeline's  hatidP^  Ah  !   {Looking at  Noel- 
ine's  hatid.  suddenly.']  Oh!     Where's  your  ring? 

NOELINE. 

[^Snatching  her  hand  away  and  concealing  it.]  What  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

Your  ring —  the  Belturbet  ring  ! 

NOELINE. 

[^Agitated.]   It's  in  my  case. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Noeline  !    You    know    mother   believes    it   never 
leaves  your  finger  ! 

[Thomasin  takes  up  the  guitar,  and  sounds  the 
strings. 

Noeline. 
[Startled.]     What's  that  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

My  guitar. 


THE  AMAZONS  39 

NOELINE, 

Sing  to  me,  Willy — the  train  always  upsets  my 
nerves.     Then  we'll  all  walk  home  together. 

[WiLHELMiNA  takes  the  guitar  and,  leaning 
against  the  hollow  tree,  sings  a  pretty  mel- 
ody. Thomasin  sits  on  the  gate.  Noel- 
INE  remains  on  the  trec-stttmp ;  us  the 
song  nears  its  close  she  sinks  to  the  groufid 
and,  leafiing  her  head  on  the  stump,  utters 
hysterical  sounds.  Wilhelmina,  drop- 
ping her  guitar,  runs  with  Thomasin  to 

NOELINE. 

NOELINE. 

Oh  !     Ha,  ha,  ha,  ha  !     Oh  dear,  oh  dear ! 

Thomasin. 
[Raising  her."]     Here  !     Hold  up,  old  man 

Wilhelmina. 
Noel !  dear  Noel  ! 

Noeline. 
Oh,  boys,  boys,  boys,  I'm  so  upset. 

Thomasin. 
What's  amiss  ? 

Wilhelmina, 
Do  tell  us  I 


40  THE   AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

Wait  a  second.  I  will  tell  you  —  I  must  tell 
somebody. 

\_She  walks  up  and  down,  cotfiposifig  herself. 
The  others  stand  together  and  look  on 
wonderingly. 

Thomas. 

[71?  WiLHELMINA.]       Eh  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

\_To  Thomasin.]     I  can't  think  — 

NOELINE. 

I'm  all  right.  I  say,  you  fellows,  I  got  into  a  bit 
of  a  mess  the  night  before  last  —  a  scrape,  a  bother. 

Thomasin. 
Did  you  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh!  S 

Thomasin. 
How? 

NOELINE. 

You  know,  Mrs.  Vipont  and  her  husband  went 
down  into  Surrrey,  to  a  political  meeting  he  was  to 
speak  at,  and  as  they  couldn't  catch  the  last  train 
home  they  slept  at  Sir  Henry  Carholt's  at  Chilmere. 
I  didn't  go,  for  two  reasons.  Never-ending  politics 
bore  me,  and  then  I  —  I  wanted  to  profit  by  their 
absence  to  see  London. 


THE  AMAZONS.  41 

Thomasin. 
See  London  1 

WiLHELMINA. 

Why,  you  have  been  seeing  London  for  the  last 
five  weeks. 

NOELINE. 

Oh,  yes,  in  my  petticoats  ;  shopping  with  Florence 
in  the  morning,  the  forlorn  park  in  the  afternoon,  a 
cockney  Exhibition  in  the  evening.  I  wanted  to 
view  London  from  the  same  stand-point  from  which 
we've  been  brought  up  to  see  things  here  at  Over- 
cote. 

Thomasin. 
Good  man  ! 

NOELINE. 

Yes,  that's  it !  I  felt  that  if  I  could  only  parade 
the  streets,  as  a  man,  at  the  hour  when  all  the  nam- 
by-pamby women  of  our  class  are  being  escorted 
here  or  there,  lifted  in  and  out  of  carriages,  wrapped 
about  in  soft  cloaks,  half  smothered  by  polite  atten- 
tions—  if  I  could  only  do  this  I  should  indeed  be  a 
man  !  I  wanted  to  swagger  along  unnoticed,  to  fling 
away  my  half-burnt  cigarette,  to  see  it  caught  up  still 
sparkling  by  a  ragged  urchin,  to  throw  a  coin  to  a 
crossing-sweeper,  to  be  shoved  and  elbowed  by  a 
noisy  crowd,  ah,  to  be  even  sworn  at  —  boys,  I  felt 
that  if  I  could  only  do  this  I  should  be  less  like  a 
girl  than  ever! 

Thomasin. 

Oh,  why  wasn't  I  with  you  ! 


42  THE  AMAZONS. 

WiLHELMINA. 

And  —  and  did  you  do  it  ? 

NOELINE. 

\After  a  little  pause,  glootnUy?[  Yes,  I  did  it. 
\Sitting  on  the  canip-sti>oI.'\     I  did  it. 

Thomasin. 
[Stttifig,  g/ee/u//y.]     Oh,  ho,  ho  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

\_Kneeling  beside  Noel.]  You  hadn't  your  dress 
clothes  in  town  with  you,  Noel. 

Noeline. 

No,  but  I  was  obliged  to  make  a  confidante  of 
Dawkins,  the  woman  who  valeted  me  in  Chesham 
Street,  and  she  and  I  raked  out  a  dress-suit  of 
Bobby  Vipont's.  Bobby's  in  Switzerland,  you  know. 
He's  seventeen  and  just  my  height,  but  everything 
I  borrowed  of  him,  except  his  white  necktie,  was  a 
beastly  fit.  However,  I  was  well  hidden  by  his 
Inverness  cape,  so  it  didn't  matter  a  row  of  pins. 
Then  I  crammed  my  hair  under  a  wig  that  had  been 
left  over  from  Lucy  Vipont's  birthday  theatricals, 
and  then  —  then  Dawkins  let  me  out. 

Thomasin. 

\Stamping  her  feet?[  What  did  you  do  ?  Where 
did  you  go  to  ? 


THE  AMAZONS.  43 

NOELINE. 

IWearily?^  I  did  the  West  End.  I  — I  didn't 
like  it.  I  —  I  didn't  care  for  anything  I  saw.  I 
was  tired  —  I  was  returning  home.  Then  I  got  into 
this  mess. 

WlI.HELMINA. 

\_Tremblingly.'\  Oh,  dear. 

NOELINE. 

I  saw  a  man  about  to  hit  a  girl.  He'd  got  his  arm 
back,  his  fist  against  his  shoulder  —  he  meant  it. 
So  did  I  I  Boys,  you  know  what  I  can  do  !  Well, 
before  you  could  have  said  "  Jinks  !  "  I'd  slipped  my 
big  ring  into  Bobby  Vipont's  trouser  pocket  and  I'd 
landed  the  monster  —  ^pnttiii;^  her  fist  under  WiL- 
helmina's  chui~\  just  here,  Willy  dear. 

[THOMASiNy«;;//j  up  excitedly. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Noel 

NOELINE. 

I've  often  knocked  out  Sergeant  Shuter  in  the 
same  way,  but  always  with  the  gloves  on.  {^Rubbing 
her  hand  with  aversion.']  Oh,  you  don't  know  what 
it's  like  to  get  home  on  a  strange  man's  chin  without 
the  gloves  on  ! 

Thomasin. 

Did  he  go  down  ? 

NOELINE. 

Down  !  \Nodding  and'  staring  at  the  ground  in 
agitation.']     I  see  him  there  constantly.     I  tumble 


44  THE  AMAZONS. 

over  him  in  my  sleep.     \_Going  to  Thomasin.]     Oh, 
Tommy,  Tommy! 

Thomasin. 
Go  on  !  don't  stop. 

NOELINE. 

There  was  a  crowd  —  men  and  women  grew  out 
of  the  pavement  — 

WiLHELMINA. 

Brutes  ! 

NOELINE. 

No,  they  were  friendly.  They  called  me  "guv- 
nor." "  Let  him  have  it  again,  guv'nor,"  one  per- 
son advised.  An  awful,  unanimous  desire  seemed 
to  possess  them  all  to  mind  what  they  called  my 
togs.  My  hat — Bobby  Vipont's  hat  —  went  in  a 
twinkling.  Then  terrible  hands,  hundreds  of  hands, 
I  fancied,  of  all  shapes  and  sizes,  were  laid  on  my 
cape.  1  wrenched  myself  free  and  broke  away, 
hitting  about  like  a  woman  then,  right  and  left. 
And  1  ran.     I  ran  till  I  fainted. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Yoji  fainted  !     You  ! 

'  NOELINE. 

Why,  don't  men  faint  sometimes 

Thomasin. 
What  became  of  you  ? 

Noeline. 
When  I  came  to  I  was  lying  on  a  sofa  in  a  strange 


THE  AMAZONS.  45 

room  and  a  young  fellow  was  sitting,  a  little  way  off, 
watching  me. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Noel ! 

Thomasin. 
Noel! 

NOELINE. 


\A'wkwardly^     Well 


Thomasin, 
Well  ?     llmpatiently.']     Well  ? 

NOELINE. 

I'd  fallen  almost  into  his  arms,  he  explained. 
He'd  taken  me  to  his  lodgings  to  get  me  round. 
He  spoke  as  a  gentleman  speaks.  He  —  he  liked 
the  look  of  me,  he  said. 

Thomasin. 

\^Biting  her  lips.']  How  did  he  convey  you  to  his 
rooms  ?  [NoELiNE  shakes  her  head.'\  Were  you  on 
a  level  with  the  street .'' 

NOELINE. 

No,  first  floor. 

Thomasin. 

How  did  he  get  you  upstairs  ? 

NOELINE. 

\Rocking  herself  to  and  fro.']     That's  just  it ! 


46  THE  AMAZONS. 

Thomasin. 

{Frowning?^  Think  he  guessed  you  —  weren't  the 
—  usual  sort  of  young  man  ? 

NOELINE. 

I  don't  know  what  to  think. 

[WiLHELMiNA  buvsts  into  tears. 

Thomasin. 

{^Hitting  her  boots  with  her  crop,  angrily?^  By 
Jove,  this  isn't  a  very  nice  accident  to  befall  a 
young  lady ! 

NiJELINE. 

[^Looking  up.]     Tom  ! 

Thomasin. 

Yes,  you  were  sent  to  town  as  a  young  lady.  [/«- 
dignani/y.]     A  fellow's  sister,  too  !     Well,  well,  well  ? 

NOELINE. 

He  lent  me  a  cap,  expecting  me,  I  suppose,  to  ask 
his  name,  but  I  snatched  the  cap  from  him  and  bolted 
down  his  stairs  into  the  street.  The  dawn  was  just 
breaking  when  I  found  a  cab.  Dawkins  put  me  to 
bed  in  a  rage.  When  I  got  up  I  burnt  the  cap  and 
gave  Dawkins  two  pounds  and  a  cigarette-holder. 
[  Wringing  her  hands.]  Oh  !  Oh  !  [Wilhelmina 
sobs. 

Thomasin. 

You  shut  up,  William  !  [7^  Noeline,  gloomily.] 
After  all,  beyond  the  indignity  and  the  humiliation 


IHE   AMAZONS.  47 

of  the  thing,  you're  none  the  worse  for  the  little  out- 
ing— 

NOELINE. 

\Holding  out  her  hand?\  My  ring  !  the  Belturbet 
ring  ! 

Thomasin. 
Eh! 

NOELINE. 

The  big  ring  that  has  never  left  a  Belturbet's 
hand  for  so  many  hundreds  of  years ! 

Thomasin. 
Not  gone 

NOELINE. 

It  must  have  fallen  out  of  the  pocket  of  Bobby 
Vipont's  silly  trousers. 

Thomasin. 

Jupiter  !  The  mater's  angry  only  about  once  a 
year  ;  this'll  be  //  /     Look  out !  here  they  are  ! 

[Wilhelmina  hastily  conceals  the  guitar  and 
its  case  in  the  hollow  of  the  tree.  Noeline 
draws  on  her  gloves.  Lady  Castlejor- 
dan,  Minchin,  and  Shuter  come  through 
the  gate. 

Ladv  Castlejordan. 

\^Embracing  Noeline.]  My  dear  boy  !  {Looking 
into  NoELiNE's/a^r^',  iineasily?\^  Ah,  London  has  taken 
that  fine  bronze  tint  out  of  your  face.  There's  Mr. 
Minchin.     {Calling.'^     Shuter !      [Shuter  advances. 


48  THE  AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

{Taking  a  letter  /fo?n  her  pocket.']  Mrs.  Vipont 
asked  me  to  give  you  that,  mother. 

\_S/ie  hands  Lady  Castlejordan  the  note, 
and  joins  Minchin,  Wilhelmina,  and 
Thomasin. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
\To  Shuter,  while  opening  the  note.]     Sergeant ! 

Shuter. 

Yes,  m'lady. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Certainly,  I  do  notice  it.  Lord  Noel  looks  terri' 
bly  flabby. 

Shuter. 

I  shall  see  what  he  does  with  the  bar-bells  to-night 
in  the  gymnasium. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

\_Reading  the  note  to  herself.]  Oh  !  "  Dear  Miriam. 
Please  come  to  town  at  once  to  hear  a  statement 
from  Clara  Dawkins,  my  maid.  Say  nothing  yet  to 
Noeline  as  we  may  find  the  woman  untruthful. 
Yours  affectionately,  Florence  Vipont."  Mercy ! 
what  has  occurred  .-"  ^calling]  Mr.  Minchin  !  [Min- 
chin approaches  and  Shuter  retires.  2  he  girls  gather 
together.]  Old  friend,  will  you  take  me  to  London 
this  morning  t 

Minchin. 

I? 


THE  AMAZONS.  49 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

I   must   be   protected  from   annoyance  at  Great 
Overcote  and  Scrumleigh.     If  you  won't  — 

MiNCHIN. 

But  I  will ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Oh,  thank  you  !     Not  a  word  ! 

\_She  goes  hurriedly  away  throjigh  the  gate. 

MiNCHIN. 

Lady  Castlejordan  — ! 

\_He  follow^'  her.     Shuter  goes  after  them. 

Thomasin. 
\^Going  to  the  gate.']     Anything  wrong,  Sergeant  ? 

Shuter. 

[^Closing  the  gate.]     Hope  not,  m'lord. 

[Shuter  disappears. 

Thomasin. 

Why  is  the  mater  so  taken  up  with  Mr.  Minchin 
to-day  "i 

Noeline. 

It  gives  one  breathing-time,  at  any  rate.  Come, 
boys,  we'll  go  down  to  the  bridge  till  lunch.  Billy, 
bring  the  banjo. 

[WiLHELMiNA//W//re'^  the  guitar  again. 


50  THE  AMAZONS. 

Thomasin. 

Yes,  let's  forget  for  a  little  while  that  you've  lost 
Dad's  ring.  By  Jove,  it's  rippin'  to  be  all  together 
again,  aint  it ! 

NOKMNE. 

Ah,  Tom,  I  wish  we  hadn't  left  home  this  summer 
any  of  us  ! 

Thomasin. 

\_Slapping  her  on  the  back.'^     Cheer  up,  old  man  ! 

NOELINE. 

\Rallying^^  I  mean  to.  After  lunch  we'll  have 
a  pop  at  the  partridges.  Confound  London  !  Hate- 
ful London  ! 

[NoELiNE  and  Thomasin  go  off  below  the 
hedge. 

WiLHELMINA. 

[^Running  after  them  with  the  guitar.']  Wait  for 
me,  you  fellows  !     Wait  for  me  ! 

[After  a  few  m(>?ncnts,  Andre  de  Grival 
emerges  cautiously  from  the  bush  and  un- 
dergrowth on  the  left  below  the  hedge. 
De  Grival  is  a  good-looking.,  animated 
young  Frenchman  of  the  type  of  a  Gre'vin 
caricature.  He  speaks  fluently.,  but  his 
pronunciation  and  inflections  are,  like  his 
appearance  and  general  demeanour,  very 
French.  Pieces  of  twig  and  bracken  cling 
to  his  clothes  and  his  necktie  is  disarranged. 


THE  AMAZONS.  51 

De  Grival. 

[^Looking  about  him?\  Where  have  we  got  to  ? 
Where  is  it  ?  [  Wiping  his  brow?^  I  am  hot.  [Calling 
in  an  undertone?^  Tweenwayes,  my  dear  fellow ! 
Tweenwayes  !  \The  Earl  of  Tweenwayes  crawls 
out  of  the  thicket,  on  his  stojnach,  painfully.  A^  Tween- 
wayes, my  friend,  here  we  are  sheltered.  We  may 
stand  upright. 

[Lord  Tweenwayes  rises.  He  is  a  short, 
thin,  weak-looking  man  of  about  three-and- 
thirty,  with  a  pale,  emaciated  face  and  red 
eyes.  Although  a  most  insigniUcant  per- 
son, his  bearing  is  full  of  affectation  and 
his  tons  a  haughty  one.  He  is  more 
disarratiged  and  dishevelled  thaji  his  com- 
patiion,  his  clothes  are  covered  with  bracken, 
his  hat  and  pocket  are  full  af  leaves,  his 
k?iickerbockers  are  green  and  soiled  at  the 
knees  and,  at  one  knee,  there  is  a  small  rent. 

Tweenwayes. 
You  don't  think  we've  been  observed  .'' 

De  Grival. 

Impossible.  We  crawl  like  alligators.  Allow  me. 
[Picking  the  bracken  from  Tweenwayes'  clothes  and 
otherwise  putting  him  in  order. '\  That  was  a  good 
place  at  which  to  enter  the  park,  between  two  lodges, 
not  in  sight  of  each.     There  you  are. 

Tweenwayes. 
Thank  you ;  let  me  render  you  a  similar  service. 


52  The  AMAZ0N3. 

De  Grival. 

\_Turmng  his  back  to  Tween waves.]     My  friend  ! 
[TvvEENWAYES  fastidiously  removes  one  piece 
of  bracken  //vfn  I)e  Grival's  coat. 

TWEENWAYES. 

Yes,  I  certainly  did  discover  the  one  weak  spot 
in  the  fortification. 

De  Grival. 

[^Jvemovin^  the  bracken  from  the  front  of  his  coat.'^ 
Pardon  me,  /found  it. 

TwEENWAYES, 

\Politel}\  but  annoyed.'\     I  found  it. 

De  Grival. 
No,  no,  I  found  it. 

TwEENWAYES. 

[/<://)'.]     I  dare  say  you're  right. 

\^He  7eplaces  the  piece  of  bracken  on  De  Gri- 
val's coat  and  moves  away. 

De  Grival. 

Thank  you.  At  all  events,  we  are  here.  To 
fancy  1  am  once  more  near  Wilhelmina,  breathing 
the  air  she  breathes,  listening  to  the  birds  that  sing 
to  her,  looking  at  — !  \_To  Tweenwayes,  who  is 
sitting,  emptying  his  pockets  of  leaves. '\  My  friend, 
you  have  scratched  your  nose. 


THE  AMAZONS.  S3 

TWEENWAYES. 

No  !  \_Applying  /its  handkerchief?^  Yes,  it  is  so. 
Hah,  this  is  characteristic  of  us  !  We  have  never 
hesitated  to  shed  our  blood  freely  for  those  on  whom 
we  have  bestowed  our  affection. 

De  Grival. 
We  —  us  ?     You  and  me  ? 

TwEENWAYES. 

No,  no,  no  —  my  race,  my  family.  We  have 
always  been  remarkable  for  our  ardent  passions. 
Our  loves  have  made  history,  you  know. 

De  Grival. 

Lady  Castlejordan's  objection  to  you  as  a  suitor 
for  Lady  Thomasin,  have  you  heard  it  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

Heard  it !  She  objects  to  my  stature,  my  whole 
physical  fabric,  in  fact.  She  is  crazy  on  the  subject 
of  muscular  development. 

De  Grival. 

\_Feeling  his  muscles  and  hitting  the  air.']  Yes,  yes. 
Ah  !  ah  !     \_Kicking  vigorously.']     Ah  ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

{^Regarding  De  Grival  disdainfully.]  We  —  we 
have  never  been  coarse,  brawny  men  ;  always  deli- 
cate, fragile,  with   transparent  veins.     Our  women 


54  THE  AMAZONS. 

are  especially  interesting.  An  eminent  surgeon 
once  assured  me  that  he  could  make  out  the  osteo- 
logical  structure  of  any  one  of  our  women  by  placing 
her  before  a  lighted  candle  and  looking  at  her  on 
the  dark  side.     We  — 

De  Grival, 

And  I  am  rejected  because  I  am  a  Frenchman  ! 
Ah! 

TWEENWAYES. 

Well,  frankly,  with  families  who  have  made  his- 
tory, I  can  quite  understand  that  that  —  but  why 
pain  you  ? 

De  Grival. 
But  I  am  English  ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

My  dear  De  Grival ! 

De  Grival. 

English  to  my  back-bone  !  French  by  birth,  yes. 
But  so  long  educated  in  England,  English  in  my 
appearance,  manner,  voice.  I  play  your  games, 
follow  your  sport.  I  speak  the  idiom  of  your  lan- 
guage;  I  say  "  don 'cher  know  !"  frequently.  I  learn 
your  proverbs  —  "a  great  many  cooks  spoil  your 
broth,  honesty  is  the  best  thing  to  do,  a  stick  in 
time  —  "  all  of  them,  by  heart.  I  say  "  damitall  " 
in  the  smoking-room.  And  still  I  am  French  ! 
Bah! 


THE  AMAZONS.  55 

TWEENWAYES. 

All  I  can  say  is  I've  known  you  some  time  and  — 
well,  we  are  judges  of  men, 

De  Grival. 

My  friend  !    And  we  stick  together  in  this  affair  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

I  will  not  leave  this  neighbourhood  till  I  have 
personally  renewed  my  proposal  to  Lady  Thomasin. 
I  am  pleased  to  have  your  companionship, 

De  Grival. 

But  do  we  understand  each  other  ?  For  example, 
if  one  of  us  was  asked  up  to  the  Hall,  that  one 
would  not  march  in  and  leave  the  other,  his  friend, 
on  the  outside  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

Speaking  for  myself,  if  I  —  well,  dined  at  Over- 
cote  Hall  without  you,  I  should  certainly  make 
quite  a  point  of  alluding  to  you  generously  during 
the  evening. 

De  Grival. 

\_Enraged.']  Alluding  !  Thank  you  very  much  ! 
Bah!  Never  reckon  your  ducks  —  your  chickens! 
\^Snapping  his  fingers  in  Tween  WAYES'/b^r*?,]  Don'cher 
know  ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

Monsieur  de  Grival ! 


S6  THE  AMAZONS. 

De  G rival. 
[  Walking  awar.]     La,  la,  la  ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

[/n^igriari//y.]     Oh  ! 

\_2'/tej'  walk  alwut  angrily^  theft  meet  agai?i. 
After  a  display  of  irresolution,  Tween- 
WAYES  ratioves  a  piece  of  the  bracken  from 
De  Grival's  coat. 

De  Grival. 

[Turning,  conciliated.']     Ah!  my  friend  ! 

Tweenwayes. 
\_Suddenly,  in  evident  pain.  ]     Oh !     Oh,  dear  me  ! 

De  Grival. 
Tweenwayes,  you  have  it  again! 

Tweenwayes. 

[  Writhing.']  No,  no,  the  other  was  sciatica  ;  this 
is  cramp. 

De  Grival. 
Cramp! 

Tweenwayes. 

We  have  cramp.  We  have  sciatica  also,  but  every 
alternate  generation  has  the  cramp  bias  very  clearly 
defined.     Oh,  dear,  dear  ! 

De  Grival. 

This  from  creeping  through  the  underwood.  What 
to  do? 


THE  AMAZONS.  57 

TWEENWAYES. 

It  will  pass. 

De  Grival. 
I  suffer  with  you. 

Tweenwayes. 

\^Rockmg  himself  to   and  /f'o.]     Our    cramp    has 
made  history.     My  mother  quotes  an  old  distich  — 
"  Cold  the  wind  and  damp  the  day, 
Cramp  shall  seize  the  true  Fitzbray !  " 

Lord  Litterly  appears,  above  the  hedge,  and,  seeing 
Tweenwayes  and  De  Grival,  he  looks  cau- 
tiously over  the  gate.  He  is  a  handsome  young 
man  zvith  the  frame  of  an  athlete  and  an  air  of 
indolence. 

Litterly. 

\_To  himself^  I  —  I'll  swear  to  that  back  !    \Aloud?^ 
I  say ! 

De  Grival. 

\Tuming.'\     Eh?     \_Going  to  the  gate. '\     My  dear 
Barrington ! 

Litterly. 

[  Opening  the  gate.']     Andre  ! 

[  They  shake  hands ;  Tweenwayes  groans. 

Litterly. 
[Z^  De  Grival.]     Who's  your  pal  ? 

Tweenwayes. 
[^Looking  round.]     How  do  you  do,  Litterly  ? 


58  THE  AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLY. 

Why,  Tweeny!  what  are  you  making  that  noise 
for? 

De  Grival. 
The  cramps. 

LiTTERLY. 

[^Producing  a  little  silver  flask  from  his  waistcoat 
pocket."]  Cramp !  Take  a  pull.  [Tweenwayes 
tlrifiks.']  Why,  we  three  haven't  met  since  Lady 
Twombley's  jolly  dance  that  hot  night  in  July.  I 
say,  what's  this  place  ? 

De  Grival. 
Overcote  Park. 

LiTTERLY. 

No  !     Then  it's  my  aunt's  place  ! 

Tweenwayes. 
Certainly  it  is. 

De  Grival. 

Lady  Castlejordan  —  your  aunt  ?     Ah,  I  see  it ! 

LiTTERLY. 

The  eccentric  Lady  Castlejordan  they  call  her, 
poor  lady.  Are  you  visiting  ?  [Tweenwayes  and 
De  Grival  exchange  looks. ~\     What's  up  ? 

De  Grival. 

Pardon  me  if  I  speak  to  Tweenwayes. 

[De  Grival   and  Tweenwayes  consult  to- 
gether. 


THE   AMAZONS.  59 

LiTTERLY. 

\To  himself. '\  I  say,  suppose  the  young  man  I 
picked  up  —  I  mean,  the  young  woman  I  picked  up 
—  turns  out  to  be  my  —  \jivith  a  prolonged  whistle^ 
Phew  !  I  say  ! 

De  Grival. 

\^To  LiTTERLY.]  No,  we  are  not  visiting.  Are 
you  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

I  !  My  people  and  the  Overcote  Park  people 
have  been  daggers-drawn  for  years. 

TWEENWAYES. 

You  will,  I  am  convinced,  thank  me,  Litterly,  for 
letting  you  know  that  no  one  is  permitted  to  enter 
this  park  except  on  Lady  Castlejordan's  reception 
days. 

LiTTERLY. 

\^SitHng  lazily.']  So  I  believe.  My  cousins  are 
rather  uncommon  in  their  rigs  out,  I've  heard. 

TWEENWAYES. 

Yes,    yes,    but  —  but    here    you    are,    my    dear 

Litterly  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

And  here  you  are,  my  dear  Tweeny. 

TwEENWAYES. 

Er —  excuse  me. 

[De  Grival  and  Tweenwayes  again  con- 
sult.    LiTTERLY  makes  a  cigarette  calmly. 


6o  THE    AMAZONS. 

De  Grival. 

My  dear  Barrington,  we  admit  we  have  no  rights 
here.  The  short  of  it  is,  we  desire  to  mett  Lady 
Wilhehnina  Belturbet  — 

TWEENWAYES. 

And  Lady  Thomasin  — 

De  Grival. 

Ladies  we  have  had  the  joy  of  knowing  at  Drum- 
durris. 

LiTTERLV. 

I  say  !     Is  that  it  ? 

De  Grival, 

To-day  we  discover  the  only  way  to  enter  this 
park  without  notice. 

LiTTERLY. 

You  think  so .?  Well,  no  one  saw  me  wriggle 
through  a  break  in  the  fence,  I  swear. 

De  Grival. 
Ah  I     We  came  through  the  fence  also 

LiTTERLY. 

My  dear  aunt  ought  to  have  'the  park  palings 
looked  to. 

De  Grival. 

\Pointing  io  the  left.'\     Over  there. 


THE  AMAZONS,  6i 

LiTTERLY. 

\_Pointing  to  the  right^     Over  there. 

TWEENWAYES. 

\_Angrily.'\    Pish  ! 

De  Grival. 
Pardon  me. 

[TwEENWAYES  atid  De  Grival  again  con- 
sult;  LiTTERLY  chuckles. 

TWEENWAYES, 

My  dear  Litterly,  it  is  our  deliberate  intention  to 
conceal  ourselves  in  Overcote  Park  until  we  en- 
counter these  ladies.  I  need  hardly  tell  you  that 
any  assistance  you  can  render  us,  in  the  shape  of 
leaving  us  to  ourselves,  we  shall  esteem  highly. 

LiTTERLY. 

[^Sitting  on  the  grass,  leaning  lazily  against  the  tree- 
stump?^  I  say,  I  was  about  to  make  a  similar  sug- 
gestion to  you,  old  chap.  I'm  going  to  hang  about 
here  too. 

TwEENWAYES. 


f 


May  I  ask 


LiTTERLY. 


Why  not  "i  I'm  a  little  interested  in  a  lady  I've 
just  seen  entering  the  park.  I've  followed  her  from 
town,  in  point  of  fact,  in  the  hope  of  getting  a  few 
words  with  her  on  the  quiet.  So  you  see,  Tweeny, 
you  can't  have  the  field  quite  to  yourself. 

[Twee N WAVES  and  De  Grival   consult  to- 
gether with  great  animation. 


62  THE  AMAZONS. 

TWEENWAYES. 

I  resent  this  !     I  resent  it ! 

De  Grival, 
Damitall ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

We  —  we  don't  brook  obstacles. 

De  Grival. 
A  great  many  cooks  !     Damitall ! 

Tweenwayes. 

If  this  had  occurred  a  few  centuries  ago  we 
should  have  simply  slain  the  fellow  !  [  After  fur- 
ther muttered  conversation  they  return  to  Litterly.] 
My  dear  Barrington,  it  seems  to  us  that  as  we  are 
all  trespassers  here,  and  as  our  interests  run  on 
somewhat  parallel  lines,  the  best  course  we  can 
adopt  is  to  —  is  to  — 

De  Grival. 
Stick  together. 

Litterly. 

Pals  ?  I  say,  just  as  you  like  —  don't  put  your- 
selves out. 

De  Grival. 

Good  !  this  is  good  !  Union  is  strength  !  Don' 
cher  know ! 

[From  the  distance  there  comes  the  sound  of 
the  girls'  voices,  singing  to  the  accompani- 
ment of  the  guitar,  and  gradually  drawing 
near. 


Hark! 
Hark! 


THE  AMAZONS.  63 

tweenwayes. 
De  Grival. 


TwEENWAYES. 

It's  coming  here.     We'd  better  get  out  of  sight. 

De  Grival. 

Certainly.  [7^  Litterly.]  Barrington,  you  will 
be  looked  at  1  [De  Grival  goes  off  quickly. 

TWEENWAYES. 

Litterly!  Litterly! 

Litterly. 

{^Preparing  to  rise.']  All  right,  old  chap,  I'm  mov- 
ing along. 

TwEENWAYES. 

Upon  my  word,  Lord  Litterly !  [Going  down 
upon  his  hands  and  knees  atid  crawling  into  the  thicket, 
scowling  at  Litterly.]  Fool !  fool !    [He  disappears. 

Litterly. 

[Rising  slowly  and  listening.']  Girls'  voices.    Girls. 
[He  walks  off  after  De  Grival.     Then  Noel- 
INE,  Wilhelmina,  and  Thomasin   come 
alo7ig  singing. 

Thomasin. 

[Near  the  gate,  speaking  to  Wilhelmina.]  Look 
out,  Billy  I     Here's  the  Sergeant. 


! 


WiLHELMINA. 

Thomasin. 


64  THE  AMAZONS. 

\They  cease  singi/ig.  Wilhelmina  hur- 
riedly returns  the  guitar  to  its  hiding  place. 
Thomasin  stands  shielding  Wilhelmina 
as  Shuter  approaches. 

Shuter. 

\From  the  other  side  of  the  gate^  My  lady  would 
like  to  see  you  up  at  the  Hall  directly  ;  she  wants  to 
say  good-bye. 

NOELINE. 

Good-bye  ? 

Good-bye  ? 

Good-bye  ? 

Shuter. 

M'lady's  just  off  to  town. 

NOELINE. 

To  town  1 

Thomasin.  s 

What  for  ? 

Wilhelmina. 

Going  to  London .'' 

NOELINE. 

Mother  has  been  sent  for  by  the  the  lawyers,  per- 
haps. 

Wilhelmina. 

She's  going  to  see  the  dentist,  very  likely. 


THE  AMAZONS.  65 

Thomasin. 

Hairdresser,  /think.  Mater's  hair  is  coming  out 
in  sackfulls. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Dressmaker,  I  believe. 

Thomasin. 

Or  bootmaker  ;  mater  hasn't  got  a  decent  shoe  to 
her  back  —  I  mean  — 

NOELINE. 

Don't  stand  here  guessing.     Come  on,  boys. 

[Shuter  opetis  the  gate.  Thomasin  shoulders 
the  campstool;  Wilhelmina  picks  up  her 
rod  and  basket.  7he  three  girls  disappear, 
and  Shuter  follows.  The?i  De  Grival 
returns  excitedly. 

De  Grival. 

\To  his  companions?^  Ssst !  Ssst  !  [Tweenwayes 
crawls  from  out  the  thicket.  Litterlv  re-enters  leis- 
urely."]     Wilhelmina !     I  have  seen  Wilhelmina ! 

Tweenwayes. 
Hush !     Thomasin  !     I  have  heard  Thomasin  ! 

Litterly. 

[^To  himself]  My  cousin  !  The  boy  I  picked  up 
—  well,  the  girl  I  picked  up  —  my  cousin  ! 

De  Grival. 
\_To  Tweenwayes.]  Did  you  hear  ?     Lady  Castle- 


66  THE  AMAZONS. 

Jordan    goes    to    London  !      Do    you    understand 
that  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

Dash  it,  do  you  think  I'm  obtuse  ? 

De  Grival. 

What  fortune  !  The  mother  goes  !  We  see  them, 
talk  with  them,  walk  with  them  !  La,  la,  la  !  Love 
laughs  at  blacksmiths  !     Don'  cher  know  ! 

\_He  dances  about  fantastically.  Litterly 
sits  thoughtfully.  Ihe  girls  are  heard 
singing  again,  their  voices  gradually  be- 
coming more  distant. 

De  Grival. 

\^Rushing  to  the  gate.']     Again  ! 

[Litterly  rises  on  hearing  the  singing.,  and 
running  to  the  gate,  climbs  on  to  the 
middle  bar  and  looks  off. 

Tweenwayes. 

You'll  be  seen  by  the  maid  !    \_Going  down  on  his 

■hafids  and  knees  and  crawling  to  the  gate.]   Fool !  fool ! 

[  He  puts  his  head  tinder  the  lower  bar  to 

watch  the  girls.     The  girls  are  still  sin gitig 

in  the  distance. 

END  OF  the  first  ACT. 


THE  AMAZONS.  67 


THE    SECOND   ACT. 

The  scene  is  the  same  as  in  the  preceding  Act. 

FlTTON,  the  gamekeeper,  an  old  man,  is  sitting  and 
smoking  a  clay  pipe  while  a  dog  lies  near  him. 

Thomasin, 
[Calling  in  the  distance.']  Fitton  !  Fitton  ! 

FiTTON. 

\_Rising  and  putting  his  pipe  aivay.']     'Ere  I   be, 
m'lord. 

\_He  opens  the  gate.  Thomasin  enters,  followed  shortly 
by  WiLHELMiNA,  and,  after  a  brief  interval,  by 
NoELiNE.  The  three  girls  are  in  clothes  fashioned 
after  the  style  of  a  man's  shooting  suit,  corduroy 
coats  and  tvaist-coats,  tweed  knickerbockers,  shoes 
and  gaiters,  everything  very  smart  aud  fiatty. 
They  carry  their  guns. 

Thomasin. 
Kept  you  waiting,  Fitton  ? 


68  THE  AMAZONS. 

FiTTON. 

Not  you,  m'lord. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Good  afternoon,  Jo. 

FiTTON. 

Afternoon,  m'lord. 

NOELINE. 

Well,  Jo,  how  are  you  ? 

FiTTON, 

Glad  to  see  ye  back  agin,  m'lord. 

Thomasin. 
What's  the  programme  ? 

FiTTON. 

[7(7  Noel.]     I  thought  we'd  try  the  plantations 
furst,  m'lord. 

NOELINE. 

That'll    do.     Get   us  back   to   tea  —  what  time, 
Billy  t 

WiLHELMINA. 

Youatt   will   be    here  with   the    tea-basket   at   a 
quarter  to  four. 

FiTTON. 

We'll  work  up  toward  Silverthorn  Coppice  arter 
tea;  birds  befeedin'  theer  about  sunset. 


THE  AMAZONS.  69 

NOELINE. 

Get  along,  boys. 

[Thomasin,  Wilhelmina,  and  Noeline  go 
offbelotv  the  hedge,  Y itto^  following  with 
the  dog.  After  a  pause,  De  Grival  conies 
hastily  behind  the  hedge,  and  clambers  over 
the  gate. 

De  Grival, 

\Calling.'\     Tweenwayes  !  my  friend  ! 

[Tweenwayes  7-U71S  up,  attempts  to  climb  the 
gate,  falls  over,  and  is  caught  by  De 
Grival. 

Tweenwayes. 
[Sitting,  much  agitated.]  Confound  the  thing ! 

De  Grival. 

[^Zoohing  over  the  gate,  then  joining  Tweenwayes.] 
They  have  stopped  running. 

Tweenwayes. 

An  ancestor  of  mine,  Ughtred  Fitz  Bray,  called 
"the  Uncomely,"  brought  inevitable  destruction  — 
so  the  legend  goes  —  on  those  whom  he  cursed  in 
anger.     Curse  these  cows  ! 

De  Grival. 

First  we  come  face  to  face  with  the  deer  —  we 
leave  them.  Then  we  come  face  to  face  with  the 
bulls  —  we  leave  them.     Then  — 


70  THE  AMAZONS. 

TWEENWAYES. 

Oh,  it's  a  beastly  park  !  This  is  the  only  decent 
bit  of  retirement. 

De  Grival. 

[  Walking  about  i7npatiently.'\  But  here  we  do  not 
meet  the  ladies,  here  we  shall  never  meet  the  ladies. 

TWEENWAYES. 

Pardon  me,  if  the  ladies  are  out  they  must  come 
here  to  get  away  from  the  cows. 

De  Grival. 

One  thing  we  may  congratulate  ourselves.  We 
have  lost  Barrington. 

TWEENWAYES. 

Ah,  yes,  we're  rid  of  Litterly.  \_Pacing  up  and 
down  angrily.']     We  soon  tired  him  out. 

De  Grival. 

I  am  glad.  Two  are  company,  three  is  too  much. 
Don'  cher  know ! 

Tweenwayes. 

His  society  had  already  become  intolerable  to  me. 
The  boundless  self-sufficiency  of  the  man  !  Once, 
when  he  trod  on  my  foot,  I  was  within  an  ace  of 
cursing  him.  I  doubt  his  breeding,  too.  The  idea 
of  his  tracking  a  pretty  face  from  town  in  this  way ! 
The  circumstance  of  his  turning  out  to  be  the  lady's 
cousin  doesn't  excuse  him  ;  I  believe  he  simply  met 
her  in  a  shop  and  followed  her  about  like  a  snobby 


THE  AMAZONS.  71 

cad.      It's  an  accursed  impropriety.      Heavens,  is 
chivalry  extinct !     What  —  eh  ? 

De  Grival. 

[  With  a  Utile  groatiT^  Tweenwayes,  my  friend,  I 
am  hungry. 

Tweenwayes. 

Hungry !     I  feel  like  a  disused  vault. 

De  Grival. 
Bah  !     It  is  an  hour  past  my  lunch. 

Tweenwayes. 

You  forget,  you  did  breakfast,  I  didn't.  I  may  tell 
you,  we  —  we  never  breakfast. 

De  Grival. 
\Turning  away.']     We,  we,  we  ! 

Tweenwayes. 

If  we  miss  our  midday  meal  we  have  acute  sinking 
of  the  stomach.  My  aunt  quotes  a  quaint  old 
quatrain  — 

"  In  the  battle,  let  the  strongest, 
"  Who  the  bold  Fitzbrays  would  scatter, 
"  Seek  out  those  who've  been  the  longest 
"  Parted  from  their  cup  and  platter." 

We  — 

De  Grival. 

My  friend,  I  am  tired  of  your  we  —  wel 


72  THE  AMAZONS. 

TWEEN  WAVES. 

Monsieur  de  Grival ! 

De  Grival. 
La,  la,  la ! 

Tweenwaves. 

\FuriousIy.'\     Leave  the  park,  leave  the  park ! 

De  Grival. 

\Facing  Tweenwaves  excitedly.'\  Possession  is 
nine  points  of  your  law  ! 

Tweenwaves. 
You  forget  yourself  ! 

De  Grival. 

First  come,  first  serve  !  ^Contemptuously  waving 
his  hand  under  Tweenwaves'  nose^  Don'  cher 
know. 

Tweenwaves. 

Ah! 

\_They  separate   aftd  walk   about,   then   they 
stand  apart  eyeing  each  other  furtively. 

De  Grival. 

\_Advancing  to  Tweenwaves  hesitatingly^  Pardon 
me. 

Tweenwaves. 
\To  himself,  struggling  inwardly^     Can  I  ? 

[Tweenwaves  at  length  offers  De  Grival 
two  fingers. 


THE  AMAZONS,  73 

De  Grival. 

\I)ubiously.'\     My  friend ! 

[LiTTERLY  strolls  along,  below  the  hedge, 
smoking.  Tweenwayes  and  De  Grival 
exchuTige  looks  of  disgust. 

LiTTERLV. 

\_Sitting.'\     Seen  anybody  ? 

De  Grival. 

Not  we.  What  have  you  been  doing,  my  dear 
Barrington  ? 

LiTTERLY, 

Having  a  bit  of  lunch. 

Tweenwayes. 
[^Advancing  eagerly.']     Where,  where,  where  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

[^Pointing  over  his  shoulder.']  Found  a  most  de- 
lightful rural  inn  close  by  —  "  The  Checkers,"  at 
Little  Overcote.  I  say,  if  you  two  would  like  to 
patronise  it,  I'll  keep  watch  here  for  the  ladies 
willingly. 

Tweenwayes. 

Accept  my  thanks,  but  I  prefer  not  to  quit  my 
post.     We  —  we  never  — 

De  Grival. 

Nor  I  too.  I  will  not  leave  the  park  till  I  have 
seen  Wilhelmina. 


'74  THE  AMAZONS. 

Litter  LY. 
All  right;  you  please  yourselve 

[TwEENWAYES  atid  De  Grival  walk  about 
aimlessly. 

TWEENVVAYKS. 

\^After  a paust'.^     What  did  they  give  you  to  eat? 

LiTTERLY. 

Grilled  bacon  — 

TwEENWAYES  afid  De  Grival. 
Oh  ! 

[They  go  off  quickly,  beloiv  the  hedge,  Tween- 
WAYES  dropping  on  to  his  hands  and  knees 
and  disappearing  into  the  thicket. 

LiTTERLY. 

\_Chuckling?^  Ha,  ha,  ha !  Ten  pounds  to  a 
button  they  follow  that  path  to  the  left  instead  of 
crossing  the  brook.  I  say  !  Keep  to  the  right,  you 
fellows  —  ! 

\_He  goes  after  De  Grival.  Directly  he  has 
disappeared,  Noeline  enters,  below  the 
hedge,  leaning  on  Thomasin's  arm. 

Thomasin. 
How  did  you  manage  to  come  such  a  cropper .? 

Noeline. 
Put  my  foot  in  a  rabbit-hole. 


THE  AMAZONS.  75 

Thomasin. 
What's  your  ankle  like  now  ? 

NOELINE. 

Better.     But  my  wrist —  I  can't  hold  my  gun, 

\She  sits  on  the  tree-stump, 

Thomasin. 

\_Plactng   her  gun    against   the   tree.'\       Poor    old 
man  ! 

NOELINE. 

\^Holding  her  7vrist.~\     Don't  mind  me ;  go  after 
Billy  and  Fitton. 

Thomasin. 
Sha'n't. 

NOELINE. 

I'll  pick  you  up  in  a  few  minutes.     [Moving  her 
hand.']     It's  easier  already. 

\There  is  the  sound  of  a  shot  in  the  distance, 

NOELINE. 

That's  Billy's  gun. 

Thomasin. 

\To  herself.]     Oh,  the  sneak ! 

[Thomasin  runs  off  unnoticed  by  Noeline. 
LiTTERLY  reappears. 


76  THE  AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLV. 

{^Seeing  Noeline  and  speaking  to  himself.']     My 
boy  —  my  girl  —  my  cousin  ! 

\^He  rustles  the  fallen  leaves  with  his  stick. 

Noeline. 

[  Without  turning.]     Oh,  do   go !     I  promise   to 
join  you  in  five  minutes. 

LiTTERLY. 

{^Approaching  her.]     Eh  .'• 

Noeline. 
\_Rising,  rvith  a  gasp,  and  facing  him.]     Sir ! 

LiTTERLY. 

You  —  you  weren't  speaking  to  me  ? 

Noeline. 
I  —  I  —  I  don't  know  you. 

LiTTERLY. 

My  name  is  Litterly  —  Lord  Litterly. 

Noeline. 
[Staring  at  him  wildly. '\     You  —  Lord  Litterly  ! 

Litterly. 
You  must  be  one  of  the  Ladies  Belturbet.   Lady —  ? 


THE  AMAZONS.  77 

NOELINE. 

Noeline. 

LiTTERLY. 

I  say,  we're  related. 

Noeline. 

\^JVodding,  still  unable  to  remove  her  eyes  from  him.'] 
Yes. 

LiTTERLY. 

There's  no  love  lost  between  your  branch  of  the 
family  and  mine.    I  suppose  we  don't  shake  hands  ? 

Noeline. 
Certainly  not. 

LiTTERLY. 

No.     I  thought  I'd  raise  the  point. 

Noeline. 

\_Pulling  herself  together.]     I  —  I  am  sorry  to  have 
to  tell  you —  you  are  trespassing  here. 

LiTTERLY. 

Yes,  yes,  I  suppose  I  am.    \Strolling  up  to  the  gate l\ 
I  say,  pretty  park.     Pardon  me  —  my  bootlace. 

\_He  puts  his  foot  on  the  bar  of  the  gate  and  ties 
his  bootlace. 

Noeline. 

\To  herself  clenching  her  hands.]    How  can  he  have 
found  out  I  am  the  young  fellow  he  carried  home  to 


78  THE    AMAZONS. 

his  lodgings.  The  cad,  to  take  advantage  of  it  like 
this!  My  cousin  too!  The  cad  !  Oh!  \_Taking  up 
her  gun  as  if  to  go,  thai  turning  to  Litterly,  haughtily?^ 
I  don't  assume  that  you  are  ignorant  of  the  way  in 
which  my  mother  has  trained  her  children. 

Litterly. 
No,  no,  don't  assume  I'm  ignorant. 

NOELINE. 

Nor  do  I  think  it  worth  while  to  defend  —  and  to 
you  ! — the  lives  we  live  here.  I  must  say,  however, 
that  I  can  see  only  one  possible  disadvantage  at- 
tached to  our  mode  of  existence. 

Litterly. 
Tailor's  bills  ? 

NOELINE. 

\^Going.~\  I  mean  the  necessity  for  regarding  unin- 
vited guests  as  unmannerly  intruders. 

Litterly. 

Lady  Noeline  !  Do  stay  a  moment.  I  fagged  down 
here  thinking  I  was  perhaps  going  to  render  some- 
body a  trifling  service. 

Noeline. 
A  service  ? 

Litterly, 
Just  sit  down  a  minute.    Now  do  !  \_Looking  about.'] 


THE  AMAZONS.  79 

Take  a  — \_Fointing  to  the  tree-stump. ']  Take  a  stump. 
Do! 

[After  a  ?nome?ifs  irresolution,  she  returns  and 
sits,  defiantly  riursing  her  gun. 

LiTTERLY. 

[Standing  near  her.]  Thanks.  This  is  how  it 
comes  about  — 

NOELINE. 

Do  you  mind  going  further  off  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

Not  a  bit.     [Lookifig  round.']  Ah,  the  ottoman  ! 

\_IIe  sits  on  the  gate.  During  the  scene  7vhich 
follows  he  watches  her  closely  but  playfully, 
telling  hisstory  with  great  relish.  She  lis- 
tens intently,  with  her  back  turned  to  him. 

NOELINE. 

[To  herself,  after  glancing  at  him.]  The  —  utter  — 
cad  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Lady  Noeline,  this  is  my  little  story.  The  night 
before  last,  as  I  was  walking  home  from  my  club,  a 
young  gentleman,  who  had  evidently  got  himself  into 
some  bother,  ran  straight  into  my  arms  and,  having 
arrived  there,  stayed  there.  The  poor  young  chap 
had  fainted. 

Noeline. 
Well  —  ? 


8o  THE  AMAZONS. 

LlITERLY. 

I  was  puzzled  what  the  dooce  to  do.  He  seemed 
a  nice  young  fellow.  I  say,  what  would  you  have 
done  ? 

NOELINE. 

I  — I  really  don't  know. 

LiTTERLY. 

I'll  tell  you  what  I  did  in  the  end.  There  was  no 
one  about ;  I  couldn't  drop  him  into  the  mud  or  hand 
him  over  to  the  police  —  could  I .-' 

NOELINE. 

Oh,  no,  you  couldn't  have  done  that! 

LiTTERLV. 

No.  I  hailed  a  cab  and  took  him  off  to  my  lodg- 
ings.    He  did  seem  such  a  nice  young  fellow. 

NOELINE. 

[  Writ/ling.']  Will  you  please  go  on  with  your  story, 
if  you  must  tell  it  me  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

Certainly.  Where  was  I .''  Oh  yes  —  he  did  seem 
such  a  nice  young  fellow. 

NOELINE. 

I  don't  want  to  hear  what  sort  of  a  young  fellow  he 
appeared  to  be ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  8l 

LiTTERLY. 

No,  no,  it  doesn't  really  belong  to  the  story.  Well, 
I  took  him  home  and  carefully  deposited  him  on  the 
sofa. 

NOELINE. 

\_To  herself ^^     Cad  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

He  was  a  good-looking  Johnnie. 

NOELINE. 

Lord  Litterly !  — 

LiTTERLY. 

I  beg  pardon  —  that's  nothing  to  do  with  it.  By- 
and-bye  he  came  round."  But  I  didn't  succeed  in 
making  much  of  him.  I  fancied  he  was  off  his  head, 
which  reminded  me  that  he'd  lost  his  topper.  So  I 
offered  to  lend  him  a  cap.  I  say,  you  should  have 
seen  the  way  he  grabbed  at  it !  Then  he  bolted 
down  my  stairs  and,  in  point  of  fact,  hooked  it. 
\_Getting  off  the  gate?^  Now  this  is  the  story  —  it  was 
a  new  cap.  He  hadn't  even  said  thanks  for  the  loan 
of  it,  and  that  riled  me.  So  down  I  went  after  him 
and  followed  his  cab  to  a  house  in  Chesham  Street. 
Ha,  ha  !     What  d'ye  think  of  that  ? 

NOELINE. 

I  —  I  fail  to  see  the  smallest  necessity  for  you  to 
—  to  have  followed  this  —  person  about. 


82  THE  AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLY. 

It  was  a  brand-new  cap. 

NOELINE. 

You  might  have  known  it  would  be  returned  — 
\_To   herself ,  recollecting i\     Oh! 

LiTTERLY. 

Well,  I  did  follow  him,  and  there  it  is.  Now,  not- 
withstanding his  bad  form,  he  still  struck  me  as 
being  a  nice  young  fellow. 

NOELINE. 

\Rising.'\     I  csinnol  — 

LiTTERLY. 

Yes,  now  I  think  of  it,  that  does  belong  to  the  story. 
\^Lookwg  at  her  Jixedly.']  He  seemed  such  a  nice 
young  fellow  that,  somehow,  I  couldn't  drive  him 
out  of  my  head,  and  next  day  I  found  myself  hang- 
ing about  that  house  in  Chesham  Street  hesitating 
whether  I'd  go  and  bang  away  at  his  door. 

NOELINE, 

[  With  her  eyes  averted.']     What  for  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

[iS////  watching  her  infejitly.']  What  for  ?  Well  — 
there  was  the  cap. 

NOELINE. 

A  paltry  cap ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  83 

LiTTERLY. 

A  neiv  paltry  cap.  However,  I  didn't  knock  — 
I'm  such  a  slow  man.  But  early  this  morning  I  was 
in  Chesham  Street  again  and,  while  I  was  lolling 
against  a  lamppost,  out  you  came  with  another  lady, 
and  got  into  a  luggage-brougham,  I  say,  it  was 
an  awful  job,  chasing  that  brougham  to  Paddington 
station  — 

NOELINE. 

The  idea  of  your  doing  such  a  thing  !  What  an 
intolerable  liberty  !  ^She  goes  indignantly  up  to  the 
gate,  where  she  sta?ids  with  her  back  to  him.^  The 
mere  idea  of  it  1     Oh  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

\_To  himself,  watching  her  admiringly !\  I  say, 
she's  glorious  !  And  to  think  that  I  carried  that  up 
seven-and-twenty  stairs  !  She  hates  me  for  it  —  but 
I've  counted  'em!  \_To  her.]  Lady  Noeline,  there's 
a  look  in  your  shoulders  that  tells  me  you'd  like  me 
to  explain  why  I  followed  you.  [She  quickly  changes 
her  position,  still  averting  her  face  ^  The  fact  is  I  saw 
a  strong  likeness  in  you  to  that  Johnnie,  the  sort  of 
likeness  a  big  sister  might  bear  to  a  cub  of  a 
brother.  And  I  felt  an  uncontrollable  desire  to 
have  a  jaw  with  you.  [Leaning  against  the  trunk  of 
the  tree.]  You  know  I  didn't  find  out  till  an  hour 
ago  that  we're  cousins. 

Noeline, 

[Eyeing  him  furtively?^  However  marked  the  re- 
semblance may  be  between  me  and  the  individual 


84  THE  AMAZONS. 

you  picked  up,  you  will  find  it  difficult  to  justify 
your  pursuing  a  woman  in  this  way.  Wanting  "a 
jaw  "  doesn't  quite  do  it ! 

LiTTERLY. 

{^Seriously?^  Lady  Noeline,  I  thought  if  I  could 
get  five  minutes'  chat  with  the  girl  who  bears  such 
a  strong  resemblance  to  that  nice  young  fellow,  I 
could  advise  her  to  keep  an  eye  on  —  shall  we  call 
him  her  brother  ?  —  in  future.  I  thought  I  might, 
through  her,  save  that  nice  young  chap  from  some 
day  falling  into  another  difiiculty  when  perhaps 
there  would  be  no  77te  to  pick  him  up  carefully  and 
take  him  out  of  harm's  way.  I  thought  perhaps  I 
might  convince  him,  through  her,  that  the  West 
End  of  London  —  the  Worst  End  of  London — at 
night-time  is  not  a  locality  where  even  a  self-re- 
specting cat  may  trust  himself.  And  this,  Lady 
Noeline,  is  how  I  come  to  trespass  in  Overcote 
Park. 

Noeline. 

[  To  herself.,  in  a  low  z'oke.]  He's  not  —  such  a  caa. 
It's  positively  delicate  of  him  to  avoid  referring  to 
me  point-blank.  He  can't  be  an  out-and-out  cad, 
[To  LiTTERLV,  /ler  to?ie  slightly  altered.']  I  —  I  un- 
derstand now  the  service  you  wished  to  render  and 
I  —  I  —  I  quite  appreciate  your  intentions. 

LiTTERLV. 

There'  s  one  other  small  matter  ;  [  taking  a  ring 
from  his  waistcoat  pocket']  that  Johnnie  left  his  ring 
on  my  hearthrug. 


THE  AMAZONS.  85 

NOELINE. 

Eh  ?     Oh  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

\Examining  the  rmg?\  Rummy  old  thing  it  seems 
to  be. 

\They  stand  together  for  a  time  not  speaking, 
he  handling  the  ring,  amused,  she  eagerly 
but  irresolutely  eyeing  it.  Then  he  offers  it 
to  her  silently  afid  she  slips  it  hastily  into 
her  pocket. 

NOELINE. 

\Putting  her  gun  under  her  arm.^  You  —  you  have 
taken  a  great  deal  of  trouble  — 

LiTTERLY. 

Pooh  !  not  worth  talking  about. 

NOELINE. 

Er  —  er  —  good  afternoon.  [_As  she  is  going  she 
meets  Fitton,  and  says  to  him.l  Oh  !  you've  come 
back  for  me,  I  suppose .-' 

Fitton. 

[Eyeing  Litterly  and  speaking  to  Noeline.]  Beg 
pardon,  m'lord;  for  interruptin'  — 

[LiTTERLY  strolls  away. 

Noeline. 

Er  —  Fitton,  this  is  my  cousin,  Lord  Litterly.  A 
—  a  sort  of  accident  has  brought  him  into  the 
park  — 


86  THE  AMAZOMS. 

FlTTON. 

Accidents  will   appen,  m'lord. 

NOELINE. 

My  mother  would  be  extremely  angry  if  she  knew. 
Jo,  I  don't  think  it's  necessary  to  tell  her  about  it. 
\_Impatientlyi\     Oh,  come  on  ! 

FiTTON. 

[^Detaining  /ler.']  M'lord  it  beaint  no  good  goin' 
arter  t'others. 

NOELINE. 

What  do  you  mean  ? 

FiTTON. 

Lord  William  and  Lord  Thomas  and  me  worked 
round  from  plantations  to  Hexly  Bottom,  and  just 
as  we  was  all  pickin'  our  way  'cross  th'  brook,  darn 
me  if  we  didn't  fall  over  two  other  gentlemen  ! 

NOELINE. 

Jo! 

FiTTON. 

[^Rubbing  his  head.']  Odd  rabbit  it  if  we  get  an- 
other shot  this  arternoon  ! 

NOELINE. 

Why,  where  are  Lord  Willy  and  Lord  Tommy? 

FiTTON. 

Walkin'  about  wi'  'un,  talkin'  to  'un  — 


THE  AMAZONS.  87 

NOELINE. 

\Gouig  to  LiTTERLY  and  speaking  hotly.']  Do  you 
know  anything  of  this  ?  The  keeper  says  there  are 
two  men  in  the  park  with  my  brothers  —  my  sisters  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Lord  "^weenwayes  and  Andre  de  Grival. 

NOELINE. 

Oh! 

LiTTERLY. 

They're  with  me  —  I'm  with  them  —  we're  with 
each  other. 

NOELINE. 

\_Facing  him  indignantly ?\  You  —  you  —  you  are 
precisely  what  I  first  thought  you  !        \_She  runs  off. 

LiTTERLY. 

\_Following  her.]  No,  I'm  not!  Lady  Noeline, 
what  is  it  you  thought  me  ?     I  say  —  ! 

[Disappears  after  her. 

FiTTON. 

[Calling after  them.'\  You  won't  find  'em  theer,  I 
tell  'ee  !  They  be  away  by  Hexly  Bottom.  \_2'urni)ig 
a7vay.']  Oh,  dang  it  !  Boys  will  be  boys,  they  do 
say  —  lord,  seems  to  me  boys  will  be  gels  here  in 
Overcote  Park  ! 

[WiLHELMiNA  enters  below  hedge,  followed  by 
De  Grival. 


88  THE   AMAZONS. 

WlLHELMIN>. 

[TT'  FiTTON,  in  a  frightened  tone.']  Jo,  have  you 
seen  Lord  Noel  ? 

FiTTON. 

[Pointifig  off.]  He's  gone  arter  ye,  m'lord,  wi' 
another  gentleman  —  Lord  Latterby  or  some  sich. 

WiLHELMINA. 

\_To  De  Grival.]  Lord  Litterly  is  with  Noel. 
\_Partly  to  herself.]  Then  Noel  can't  be  so  very 
angry  with  me  and  Tommy.  \^Taking  Fitton  asidei\ 
Fitton  — 

[WiLHELMINA  gives  instructions  to  Fitton. 
Thomasin  enters  from  above  the  hedge 
followed  by  Tweenwayes. 

Thomasin. 

\^Leaning  on  the  gate.]  Billy,  Lord  Tweenwayes 
and  Monsieur  De  Grival  will  take  tea  with  us,  of 
course.  Don't  forget,  extra  cups  and  saucers  to 
come  down  from  the  house ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

I  am  ordering  them  now.  \Stamping  her  foot.] 
You're  making  me  do  everything  ! 

Thomasin. 

[71?  Tweenwayes.]  Come  on,  Tweenwayes.  You 
must  see  our  new  Hereford  bulls.  \She  goes  off. 


THE  AMAZONS.  89 

TWEENWAYES. 

\_ffesi fating  at  the  gate  —  to  himself.  ]  She  will  take 
me  to  the  cattle  !  \To  TiY.  Grival.]  Get  away  frcm 
here  as  soon  as  you  can  —  I'm  coming  back. 

De  Grival. 

My  friend,  you  must  find  some  other  place  to 
make  your  love  in  —  I  want  it. 

Thomasin. 
\In  the  distance.l     Tweenwayes ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

Oh  !  [Going  —  and  saying  to  himself  as  he  looks  at 
De  Grival  indignantly ?\^     Insolent !     Insolent ! 

[He  follows  Thomasin, 

FiTTON. 

\To  Wilhelmina.]  Don't  'ee  be  af eared,  m'lord. 
I'll  make  it  all  right  wi'  Youatt.  [  To  himself ^^  You- 
att  don't  get  no  more  game  out  o'me  for  his  sister 
in  Lunnon  if  he  can't  keep  his  mouth  shut. 

[FiTTON  disappears  ;  Wilhelmina  sits  on  the 
tree-stump,  and  De  Grival  comes  down 
and  kneels  by  her  side. 

Wilhelmina. 
Monsieur  de  Grival  ! 

De  Grival. 
[  With  great  fervour?^    Wilhelmina  !     Ah,  you  are 


90  THE  AMAZONS. 

adorable  !     You  are  enchanting  !     You  are  perfect ! 
Oh,  you  are  —  you  are  —  you  are  pretty  good  ! 

4 
WiLHELMINA. 

[  With  her  handkerchief  to  her  eyes?^  Oh,  it  isn't 
kind  of  you  to  be  so  persistent ! 

De  Grival. 

Faint  heart  never  won  a  fair-haired  young  lady  ! 
Don'  cher  know ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

But  nothing,  nothing  would  ever  reconcile  my 
mother  to  your  nationality. 

\She  shifts  her  gun  from  one  knee  to  another  ; 
the  muzzle  chancing  to  point  towards  De 
Grival. 

De  Grival. 

My  nationality  !  Absurd  trifle  !  \_Disconcerted  by 
the  presence  of  the  gun .']  French  by  birth,  yes.  But 
English  in  my  appearance  —  English  in  my  —  \_Ris- 
i^Si  goifg  ^'c'hind  WiLHELMINA,  and  hnee/ing  on  her 
left.']  French  by  birth,  yes.  But  English  in  my 
appearance,  manner,  voice.  Do  I  not  play  your 
games,  your  golf,  your  cricket  ?  —  no,  not  your 
cricket!  Do  I  not  speak  your -JDroverbs — "Set  a 
thief  to  catch  himself"  —  all  of  them.?  Do  I  not 
say  "  Damitall  "  in  the  smoking-room  —  ? 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh! 


THE  AMAZONS.  91 

De  Grival. 
No,  I  do  not ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

You  don't  fully  realise  the  extent  of  my  mother's 
prejudice.  According  to  her  notion,  a  Frenchman 
can  never  be  a  thorough  sportsman  — 

De  Grival. 

How  wrong  the  notion  !  For  example,  let  her 
once  see  me  riding  in  the  paper-chase.  In  the 
paper-chase,  nine  out  of  ten,  I  am  always  —  always 
—  in  at  the  decease.     I  — 

WiLHELMINA. 

I  assure  you  that  would  weigh  very  lightly  with 
my  mother.  \_Inadvertently  she  again  shifts  her  gun- 
so  that  it  points  at  De  Grival's  face.']  Oh,  please, 
please  give  up  hoping,  Monsieur  de  Grival ! 

De  Grival. 

[Again  uncomfortable.']  Give  up  hoping !  Give 
up  —  do  you  imagine  —  it  is  not  poss  —  !  [^Rising, 
he  takes  the  gun  from  Wilhelmina  and  places  it 
against  the  opposite  tree.]  Pardon  me.  Never  play 
with  edged  guns. 

[TwEENWAVES  enters  quickly,  followed  by  Thomasin. 
'Bij'eenwayes  opens  the  gate  to  let  Thomasin 
through,  then  closes  it  sharply  and  looks  off. 

Thomasin. 

{Coming  down  to  Wilhelmina.]  Tweenwayes 
has  been  admiring  our  Herefords. 


92  THE  AMAZONS. 

De  Grival. 
\Knowingly.'\     Has  hel     Ha,  ha!     I  laugh  ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

\^Eyeing  De  G-RIVAl  withermgly.'\  I  should 
much  like  Monsieur  de  Grival  to  examine  the 
Hereford  bulls. 

De  Grival. 

{Startled?^     Ah  ! 

Tweenwayes. 
Perhaps  Lady  Wilhelmina ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

\Goi?ig  up  to  the  gate.'\  With  pleasure.  Mon- 
sieur de  Grival  —  ? 

De  Grival. 

\_Uncomfortably?[  You  honour  me.  [Tween- 
wayes opens  the  gate  ;  Wilhelmina  passes  through. 
De  Grival  follows,  thefi  returns  for  the  gun,  saying 
to  himself.  ]  In  case.  Prevention  is  better  than 
being  run  after.  [Ti?  Tweenwayes,  insultingly  in 
passing  him.'\     Don'  cher  know  ! 

Tweenwayes. 

{Failing  back.']  Ah  !  [Wilhelmina  goes  q^ fol- 
lowed by  De  Grival,  then  Tweenwayes  climbs  on  to 
the  gate,  lookifig  after  them.']  Insolent!  May  they 
toss  him  like  a  common  coin  !     Insolent ! 

\_IIe  Joins  Thomasin  who   is   sitting  on  the 
stump,  lighting  a  cigarette. 


THE   AMAZONS.  93 

Thomasin. 
\.Offering  him  her  cigarette  case.^^     Smoke  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

Thank  you,  no.     We  Fltzbrays  do  not  smoke. 

Thomasin. 
How  a  man  can  exist  without  it  puzzles  me. 

TwEENWAYES. 

We  drink. 

Thomasin. 
No  !     What,  too  much  ? 

TwEENWAYES. 

Alternate  generations  have  the  drink  bias  very 
clearly  defined. 

Thomasin. 
Where  do  you  come  in  ? 

TwEENWAYES. 

The  predilection  skips  me.  My  father  was  called 
"  Three-bottle  Tweenwayes."  But,  in  one  way  and 
another,  he  made  a  good  deal  of  history  in  his 
time. 

Thomasin. 

It  must  be  a  bad  business  to  be  a  tippling 
Tweenwayes. 


94  THE  AMAZONS, 

TVVEENWAYES. 

[  Walking  away  a  little  annoyed.']  Pardon  me,  we 
don't  think  so. 

Thomasin. 

\_Follo7C'ing  ///>«.]  I  say,  Tweenwayes,  I'm  still 
thinking  over  what  you've  told  me  about  this  fellow, 
Litterly,  following  my  brother  Noel  from  town  and 
intruding  himself  here  — 

Tweenwayes. 

Pray  dismiss  that  topic  for  the  moment.  [For- 
mally.] Lady  Thomasin,  for  third  time  —  I  love 
you. 

Thomasin. 

Oh,  shut  up,  Tweeny  ! 

Tweenwayes. 
We  —  we  are  always  listened  to. 

Thomasin. 

\_Stamping  her  foot.]  Oh  ! 

[■5"//^  goes  to  the  gate  and  leans  upon  it,  with 
her  back  towards  him. 

Tweenwayes. 

[Walking  to  and  fro  ^  Lady  Thomasin,  it  would 
be  an  easy  task  to  descant  on  your  beauty,  your 
amiability.  But,  when  I  express  my  conviction  that 
my  family  would  regard  our  engagement  with  fa- 


THE  AMAZONS.  95 

vour,  it  seems  to  me  I  say  everything.  Heavens, 
what  a  test  to  apply  to  a  woman,  and  yet  you 
emerge  from  the  ordeal  unscathed  !  The  Fitzbray 
legend  runs  —  [To  himself ^^  Dash  it !  how  does  it 
run  —  ? 

Thomasin. 

[To  herself ?\  Of  course,  Tweeny's  right  —  the 
fellow  must  have  been  simply  attracted  by  Noel's 
face.     Confound   him ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

I've  got  it  — 

"  Search  the  south  and  sweep  the  north, 
Scour  the  east  and  spoil  the  west, 
Speed  your  emissaries  forth 
To  the  fairest  and  the  best. 
Storm  the  cities'  topmost  heights, 
Steal  about  the  country  side  — 
When  ev'ry  grace  in  one  unites 
You  will  have  found  a  Fitzbray's  bride  !  " 

Thomasin. 

\To  herself]  The  mater's  often  told  us  that  those 
other  Belturbets  are  outsiders  — ! 

Tweenwayes. 

\^Resuming  his  march.]  On  the  subject  of  my 
claims  upon  your  esteem  my  own  mouth  is  necessa- 
rily closed.  But  there's  a  sentence  in  a  letter  I  re- 
ceived yesterday  from  my  sister,  Lady  Clandunphie 


96  THE  AMAZONS. 

[searching for  a  letter']  which  perhaps  —  you  —  ought 
to  —  [finding  it  ]     Ah ! 

\_He  produces  a  letter,  and  a  large  reading- 
glass  in  a  case. 

Thomasin. 

[Eyeing  the  reading-glass.']  Hullo,  what's  that 
machine  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

We  have  no  sight  to  speak  of.  [Reading?^  "  One 
thing,  dearest  Galfred,  I  would  urge  upon  you,  to 
guide  you  in  your  quest  of  a  woman  fitted  to  figure 
with  you  in  history's  page,  and  that  is  the  constant 
retiection  that  you  preserve  in  your  own  person  all 
that  is  noblest  and  best  of  the  mediaeval  spirit." 
[Advancing  to  Thomasin.]     Lady  Thomasin  — 

Thomasin. 

Look  here,  old  man,  we're  delighted  to  see  you 
here  to  tea  while  the  mater's  away,  to  show  you 
the  Herefords  and  all  that  —  but  drop  the  rest. 
Even  if  I  were  inclined  to  turn  myself  into  a  girl, 
which  I  ain't.,  the  mater  wouldn't  hear  of  anybody 
but  a  man  with  a  chest  that  'ud  take  you  the  best 
part  of  the  afternoon  to  drive  round. 

TWEENWAVES. 

\^Putting  away  the  letter  and  glass.]  Can  it  be  pos- 
sible !  However,  we  have  never  hesitated  at  self- 
sacrifice.  If  you  could  suggest  any  easy  means  of 
muscular  development  — 


THE  AMAZONS.  $? 

Thomasin. 

By  Jove  !  Tweeny,  if  you  did  want  to  show  what 
you're  made  of  —  ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

Made  of  ? 

Thomasin. 

This  fellow  Litterly  —  our  cousin  —  who  sneaks 
into  our  park  after  a  pretty  face  !  You  could  do  it, 
if  you  liked  ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

Do  what  ? 

Thomasin. 

You  know  a  lot  of  bad  language,  naturally  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

My  grandfather  was  called  Round-oath  Reginald  I 
His  swearing  made  history. 

Thomasin. 

I  know  some  too,  only  the  mater  bars  that.  Well, 
when  you  come  across  Litterly  again,  you  use  yours, 
will  you  ? 

Tweenwayes. 

\Apprehensively^  To  Litterly  ? 

Thomasin. 
Certainly,  tell  him  what  we  all  think  of  his  con- 
duct 1  » 


98  THE  AMAZONS. 

TWEENWAYES. 

I  —  I  should  have  little  hesitation  —  er —  in  — 

Thomasin. 
Good  man  !     \Running  across  to  the  right']  Hullo ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

Eh  ?     Eh  ? 

Thomasin. 

Here  he  is  —  with  Noel.  [Tweenwayes  hastily 
makes  for  the  thicket.^  No,  no,  not  that  way  —  over 
here. 

Noeline  and  Litterly  enter  below  the  hedge  talking. 
LiTTERLY  carries  Noeline's  gun  zvhich  he  ulti- 
mately places  against  the  hollow  tree. 

Noeline. 

\^Embarrassed  at  encountering  Thomasin  and 
Tweenwayes.J  Er  —  Tommy  —  this  is  Lord  Lit- 
terly. {To  Litterly.]  My  brother  —  sister  — 
Thomasin. 

[Litterly  bows  to  Thomasin,  who  inclines  her 
head  stiffly  and  then  turns  her  shoulder 
upon  him. 

Thomasin. 

\_To  Noeline.]  My  friend.  Lord  Tweenwayes. 
[7i7  Tweenwayes.]     My  brother  Noel. 

[Tweenwayes  bows;  Noeline  returns  his 
salute  haughtily. 


THE  AMAZONS.  99 

NOELINE. 

\Taking  Thomasin  aside ^    Why  do  you  treat  Lord 
Litterly,  a  cousin,  so  very  coolly  ? 

Thomasin. 
\To  NoELiNE.]     How  dare  he  come  here  I 

NOELINE. 

He  chances  to  be  the  young  man  who  was  useful 
to  me  in  London. 

Thomasin. 

Gracious  !     The  creature  who  dandled  you  like  a 
baby ! 

NOELINE. 

Be  silent !     He  has  the  good  taste  to  gloss  over 
that.     Where's  Willy  ? 

Thomasin. 
With  Andre  de  Grival. 

NOELINE. 

You're  behaving  like  blackguards,  both  of  you. 
Fetch  your  brother  at  once. 

Thomasin. 

[  Goifig  through  the  gate.']    Certainly.     Our  friends 
have  tea  with  us,  you  may  like  to  hear. 

NOELINE. 

Oh,  the  idea  of  such  a  thing ! 


loo  THE  AMAZONS. 

Thomasin. 
Are  you  going  to  ask  Litterly  ? 

NOELINE. 

It  would  be  a  marked  impoliteness  not  to  do  so, 

Thomasin. 
I  thought  as  much  ! 

NOELINE. 

I'll  box  your  ears  to-night ! 

Thomasin. 

Noel,  if  you  domineer,  when  I  get  indoors  I  —  I  — 
I'll  be  perfectly  uncontrollable. 

NOELINE. 

\Turning  azvaj.]     Impudent  fellow  ! 

[Thomasin  goes  off.  Tweenwayes  advances 
towards  Litterly,  who  is  sittifig  on  the 
root  of  the  tree. 

Tweenwayes. 

[Finding  he  is  alone  ivith  Litterly.]    Er  —  Litterly 

—  have  you  considered  whether  it  is  quite  the  act  of 
a  gentleman  to —  to —  rove  about  a  place  where,  for 
family  reasons,  it  is  obviously  —  ah  —  undesirable 

—  eh? 

Litterly. 

My  dear  chap,  I  haven't  thought  at  all  about  it. 
[^Glaring  at  Tweenwayes. J     Have  you  "i 


THE  AMAZONS.  loi 

TWEENWAYES. 

\_Mildly?\  No,  /  haven't.  \^He  turns  and  goes 
through  the  gate  irresolutely  looking  to  the  right.'\ 
Herefords  ! 

\_IIe  quickly  turns  to  the  left.,  and  disappears. 
NoELiNE  and  Litterly  approach  each 
other  rather  constrainedly. 

Litterly, 

{^Looking  at  his  watch. '\  I  say,  Lady  Noeline,  is 
the  four  forty-five  a  decent  train? 

Noeline. 
\_Indifferently7\     You  return  by  it  ? 

Litterly. 
Bound  to  ;  I  dine  out  to-night. 

Noeline. 
Then  I  won't  press  you  to  wait  for  tea. 

Litterly. 
Tea ! 

Noeline. 
Tea  comes  down  from  the  Hall  directly. 

Litterly. 
Hang  the  train  !     It's  only  a  man's  dinner. 


I02  THE    AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

\^Coldly.'\  You  mustn't  disappoint  your  friends. 
Good-bye.  \_He  grips  her  hand  tightly^  and  she  cries 
out.']  Oh ! 

LiTTERLY. 

What? 

NOELINE. 

[Holding  her  wrist.']     I  have  a  sprained  wrist. 

LiTTERLY. 

\_Taking  her  hand  again.]  I  say,  I  am  sorry! 
I'm  afraid  I  —  \_Looking  at  a  mark  upon  her  wrist.] 
Hullo  !     What's  that  ? 


NOELINE. 
LiTTERLY. 
NOELINE. 


Nothing. 

N. 

My  initial. 

LiTTERLY. 

What's  it  doing  there  ? 

NOELINE. 

I  am  sure  you'll  lose  your  train. 

LiTTERLY. 

Who  put  it  there  ? 


THE  AMAZONS.  103 

NOELINE. 

\_lmpatiently.'\  Oh,  when  we  were  quite  small 
boys  —  Willy  and  Tommy  and  I  —  we  used  to  tat- 
too each  other  on  wet  days.  The  nearest  way  to 
the  station  — 

LiTTERLY. 

\Looking  at  her  wrisf.'\  By  Jove  !  how  did  you 
manage  it  ? 

NOELINE. 

Oh  dear,  oh  dear !  If  you  must  know,  there's  a 
scrubby  little  plant  with  a  scarlet  sap,  growing  here 
at  Overcote,  that  does  it.  [  JValki/ig  about,  looking 
upon  the  ground.']  It's  early  for  it,  but  I  daresay  I 
can  find  you  a  sprout.  \Plu eking  a  root.']  Yes, 
this  is  it,  I  believe.  \_Bri-aking  the  stalk  and  showing 
it  to  him.]  There  !  You  simply  make  punctures 
and  paint  them  with  the  sap.  [^Jle  takes  a  sprig  and 
examines  it.]  The  nearest  way  to  Scrumleigh  sta- 
tion — 

LiTTERLY. 

[^Looking  at  his  wrist,  then  at  her.]  Would  you 
mind  carving  something  on  me  ? 

NOELINE. 

I!     [^Drawing  herself  up.]     Really! 

LiTTERLY. 

I  say,  do  !     I  say  — 

NOELINE. 

\_Stamping  her  foot.]     What  a    maddening   trick 


104  THE   AMAZONS. 

you  have  of  saying  "  I  say  "  !     Forgive  me  for  re- 
marking it. 

LiTTERLY. 

I  know;  it's  a  rotten  habit.  I  say — {^Correcting 
himself. '\  I  beg  your  pardon  —  I  mean,  if  you'd 
write  me  just  one  little  letter  — 

NOELINE. 

Lord  Litterly  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

On  my  wrist  —  it  would  remind  me  to  drop  saying 
"I  say." 

NOELINE. 

{Haughtily?^  I  fear  the  habit  must  remain  un- 
checked. 

\She  walks  away  and.,  7vith  her  back  to  him, 
picks  so7?te  7nore  of  the  plant. 

Litterly, 

[  To  himself  pulling  the  sprig  to  pieces?^  She  hates 
me  like  poison  —  she  hates  me  not  —  she — !  I've 
half  a  mind  to  pay  her  out  for  snubbing  me  like 
this.  I  could  do  it  too,  if  I  choose  to  tell  her  of 
that  trifling  little  circumstance  I  kept  back.  Ha, 
ha,  ha!  Why  shouldn't  I?  Ha,  ha!  She  hates 
me  like  rats  —  she  hates  me  not — [7b  Noeline.] 
Lady  Noeline  — 

NOELINE. 

\^Not  turning.']     Yes  ? 


THE  AMAZONS.  105 

LiTTERLY. 

I  say,  there's  something  on  my  conscience  I 
should  like  to  get  rid  of  before  I  go. 

NOELINE. 

On  your  conscience  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

Well,  when  I  told  you  the  tale  of  my  picking-up 
that  nice  young  fellow  the  night  before  last,  I  left 
out  one  little  occurrence  — 

NOELINE. 

You  — left  out  —  one  little  —  occurrence  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

It  happened  while  his  brain  was  wandering,  just 
as  we  —  but,  very  likely,  you  wouldn't  think  it 
belongs  to  the   story. 

NOELINE. 

Perhaps  you  will  give  me  the  opportunity  of 
judging. 

LiTTERLY. 

With  pleasure  —  on  one  condition. 

NOELINE. 

What's  that  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

{^Tapping  his  wrist.']  That  you'll  write  me  that 
letter. 


lo6  THE  AMAZONS 

NOELINE. 

Certainly  not. 

LiTTERLY. 

As  a  memorial  of  an  awfully  jolly  adventure. 

NOELINE. 

And  that  would  be  the  price  of  the  omitted 
episode  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

{^Turning  up  his  shirt  cuff.^     The  reserved  price. 

NOELINE. 

I  wouldn't  pay  it  to  buy  the  whole  county ! 

LiTTERLY. 

[Turning  down  his  shirt  ciiff.'\  Episode  bought 
in. 

NOELINE. 

[Fiercely^  Oh  !  \^Irresolutely.'\  You  have 
really  something  to  tell .'' 

LiTTERLY. 

Honour  bright. 

NOELINE. 

I  —  I  think  your  behaviour  is  infamous.  [Draw- 
ing a  long  silver  pin  from  her  hair  and  approaching 
him.']     You  have  no  objection  to  this  .'' 


THE  AMAZONS  107 

LiTTERLY. 

\Turning  up  his  cuff  again.']     Delighted. 

\^She  sits  on  the  stump  and  he  stands  on  her 
left  extending  his  wrist. 

NOELINE. 

What  letter? 

LiTTERLY. 

N  will  do. 

NOELINE. 

I  prefer  any  other  letter,  please. 

LiTTERLY. 

Oh,  N  stands  for  lots  of  things.     N's  for  nothing. 

NOELINE. 

\Angnly?[     Oh!  \_She  makes  the  punctures. 

LiTTERLY. 

[Sitting  beside  her.]     You  can't  reach. 

NOELINE. 

\^As  she  makes  the  punctures.]     This  —  will  be  —  a 
vile  —  N  —  I  promise  you. 

LiTTERLY. 

[  Wincing.]     You  must  have  been  plucky  kids  to 
stand  much  of  this. 


lo8  THE  AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

\_Becoming  interested  in  her  work.']     We  were  — 
plucky  kids  —  as  you  express  it  —  Tommy  especially. 

LiTTERLY. 

Tommy  ? 

NOELINE. 

I  remember  —  it  was  on  Tommy  —  I  used  to 
make  —  the  most  —  elaborate  designs. 

LiTTERLY. 

Poor  Tommy  !  and  have  those  frescoes  faded  ? 

NOELINE. 

I  think  you  are  the  most  inquisitive  person  I  have 
ever  met. 

LiTTERLY. 

Sorry. 

NOELINE. 

No,  I  wish  they  would  die  out ;  they  occasion 
such  serious  inconvenience  now. 

LiTTERLY. 

Do  they  —  how  ? 

NOELINE, 

Oh,  really,  if  you  will  know  everything,  when 
Thomasin  visits  as  a  girl  it  is  impossible  for  her  to 
appear  to  advantage  at  dances  or  any  low-necked 
function.  \_Sticking  the  hairpin  in  her  coat.]  There  1 
\Rubhing  the  broken  stalk  of  the  plant  upon  his  wrist.] 
I  wish  you  joy  of  this  N  !  [Ihey  rise. 


THE  AMAZONS.  109 

NOELINE. 

[^Listening.']  I  think  the  others  are  coming. 
What  is  it  you  left  out  of  your  story?  Be  quick, 
please ! 

LiTTERLY. 

\^Tuniwg  down  his  cuff. '\  I  shouldn't  have  men- 
tioned it  only  I  think  a  chap  who's  fond  of  his 
mother  must  have  a  lot  of  good  in  him,  and  so  it's 
no  more  than  just  to  that  Johnnie  — 

NOELINE. 

Fond  of  his  mother  !     Explain  yourself  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Well,  after  I'd  carried  him  up  those  seven-and- 
twenty  stairs  — 

NOELINE. 

\_Cienching  her  hands.']     Oh!     Yes? 

LiTTERLY. 

After  I'd  carried  him  up  those  stairs  I  stopped  for 
wind  on  the  landing.  And  it  was  then  that  nice 
young  fellow  sighed  and  groaned  and  put  his  arm 
round  my  neck  — 

NOELINE. 


He  didn't  ! 


LiTTERLY. 


And  called  me  "mother"  in  a  whisper.  He 
didn't  know  what  he  was  up  to,  of  course,  but  it 
showed  his  good  instincts. 


no  THE   AMAZOXS. 

NOELINE. 

Any  —  anything  more  ? 

LiTTERLV. 

One  thing  more.  I  couldn't  stop  his  doing  it, 
you  know  ;  my  own  arms  were  engaged. 

NOELINE. 

Stop  his  —  doing  what  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

As  he  said  "  Good-night,  mother,"  in  a  dreamy 
way,  he  kissed  me.  That's  the  incident.  When's 
tea? 

NOELINE, 

Oh  !     Oh ! 

\_She  turns  upon  him  fiercely,  deals  him  a  sound- 
ing blow  upofi  his  ear,  and  walks  away. 

LiTTERLY. 

\^Looking  after  her.']  Does  the  invitation  to  tea 
still  hold  good  ? 

[WiLHELMiNA,   De   Grival,    and  Thomasin 
come  through  the  gate. 

WiLHELMINA. 

[  With  De  Grival  timidly.']  Noel,  may  I  introduce 
Monsieur  de  Grival  .^ 


THE   AMAZONS.  ill 

De  Grival. 

{^Advancing  to  Noel  gallantly.']  Lady  Noeline,  I 
am  charmed  to  be  here  not  asked. 

Thomasin. 

\0pe7iing  the  gate.]    The    tea!    [Calling.']    Look 
sharp,  Youatt !  Don't  go  to  sleep,  Fitton  ! 

LiTTERLY  is  presented  to  Wilhelmina.  Youatt 
and  Fitton  enter  through  the  gate  carrying  a 
large  square  basket  and  some  camp-stools.  They 
open  the  basket  and  arrange  the  tea-things  on  the 
tree-stump,  Thomasin  assisting,  while  Litterly 
busies  himself  in  placing  the  camp-stools.  After 
the  tea  is  laid  Youatt  removes  the  basket  and 
takes  up  a  position  by  the  gate.     Fitton  goes  off. 

Thomasin. 

\To  Youatt,  while  tea  is  being  laid.']    What's  the 
matter  with  you,  Youatt  ? 

Youatt. 

[Wagging  his  head.]  Oh,  m'lord,  what  are  we  all 
a'  comin'  too  ! 

Thomasin. 

We're  all  a'  comin'  to  tea  directly. 

Youatt. 
Oh,  the  disgrace  to  the  Park 

Thomasin. 
Youatt,  if  you  ever  breathe  a  word  to  a  soul  —  f 


112  THE  AMAZONS. 

YOUATT, 

Don't  think  it  o'  me,  m'lord. 

LiTTERLY. 

\_To  Thomasin,   who  is   carrying  camp-stools ?[     I 
say,  let  me  help. 

Thomasin. 
[^Glaring  at  kirn.']     Thanks,  awfully. 

LiTTERLY. 

\_To  himseif.'\     The  little  'un's  no  friend  of  mine. 

Thomasin. 
\_To  herself.']     Impudent  interloper  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

[^To  himself.']     Rude  little  mess  of  tattoo  ! 

Thomasin. 

[Aloud.]     Tea !    tea !     Come    along,    Noel !     Sit 
down,  Willy  !     There,  you  are.  Monsieur  de  Grival ! 

\_The  girls  sit  upon  the  camp-stools,  the  mefi 
upon  the  ground — Noelijs! E  po/^ring  out 
tea,  with  Litterly  on  her  left;  Thomasin 
is  in  the  centre,  with  Wilhelmina  and  De 
Grival  on  her  right. 

YoUATT. 

\To  himself^     Ah,  a  sad  stain  on  the  Park  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  I13 

LiTTERLY. 

\^To  NoELiNE,  wrapping  his  handkerchief  round  his 
wrist.']     You  observe  I  am  stopping  to  tea ? 

NOELINE. 

S^To  LiTTERLY,  disdainfully^  I  can  hardly  avoid 
your  doing  so.  Ah,  please  don't  draw  attention  to 
your  wrist  in  that  way, 

LiTTERLY. 

\_Ptitting  his  handkerchief  a7vayP\  I  say,  did  my 
cousin  Thomasin  tingle  like  this  when  she  was 
frescoed  ?     [  l-Vincing.]     Oh  ! 

Thomasin. 
{Looking  about?^     Where's  Tweenwayes  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

Yes,  where's  Tweeny  ? 

De  Grival. 
Where  is  my  friend  Tweenwayes  ? 

Thomasin. 
{Calling.']      Lord   Tweenwayes!      Lord   Tween- 
wayes 1 

LiTTERLY. 

{Calling  loudly.']     Halloa!  Tweeny  I 

De  Grival. 

Tweenwayes! 


114  THE  AMAZONS. 

TWEENVVAYES. 

\In  the  distance.l     Coming ! 

l^He  crawls  out  of  the  thicket. 

Thomasin. 
Tea! 

TWEENWAYES. 

\SittingJ\     Thank  you. 

[You ATT  cotnes  and  hands  the  tea. 

Thomasin, 

\_Qtiietly  to  Tweenwayes.]  Tweeny,  have  you 
spoken  your  mind  to  Litterly  yet  ? 

Tweenwayes. 

I  thought  of  waiting  till  I  get  him  in  town.  We 
always  deliberate  before  expressing  our  views. 

Thomasin. 

Well  then,  you  must  arrange  with  me  exactly 
what  you're  going  to  say.  Look  here,  will  you  and 
Andre  de  Grival  come  up  to  the  Hall  to-night, 
when  it's  dark,  and  have  a  quiet  chat  about  it  with 
Willy  and  me .'' 

Tweenwayes. 

Come  up  to  the  Hall ! 

Thomasin. 
Not  i»o  the  door,  of  course.     You'll  have  to  lower 


THE  AMAZONS.  115 

yourselves  through  a  skyUght.     I'll  write  you  out 

instructions. 

[TwEENWAYES  pvoduces  a  letter.,  tears  off  the 
half-sheet,  and  gives  it  to  Thomasin,  who 
writes  on  it  with  pencil.  There  is  the 
sound  of  the  loosening  of  a  string  of  Wih- 
HELUiifA's  guitar  in  the  hollow  of  the  tree, 

De  Grival. 
{^Starting  7ip.']     Ah  !     What ! 

Wilhelmina. 
A  string  of  my  guitar  ! 

De  Grival. 

[^Taking  the  guitar-case  from  the  tree.']  Oh,  you 
play,  you  sing  ! 

Wilhelmina. 

No,  no  ! 

De  Grival. 

[^Taking  the  guitar  from  the  case.  ]  Lady  Noeline, 
my  dear  Barrington,  Tweenwayes  —  persuade ! 
\Handing  the  guitar  to  Wilhelmina.]  Don'  cher 
know! 

LiTTERLY. 

Lady  Wilhelmina ! 

Noeline. 
Do,  Willy. 


Jl6  THE  AMAZONS. 

De  Grival. 
\Entreatingly^     Ah,  if  you  like  ! 

[WiLHELMiNA  strikes  a  chord. 

TweenWayes. 

\To  /limself,  writhing.'\     We  loathe  music. 

[WiLHELMiNA  sings  a  simpk  song  in  two  verses. 

LiTTERLY. 

\_At  the  end  of  the  first  verse?\     I  say,  charming  ! 

De  Grival. 
\In  ecstasy. '\     Ah,  bravo,  bravo  !     Pretty  good  ! 

Thomasin. 

\Quietly  to  Youatt,  giving   him  the  note  she  has 
written.']     Take  this  to  Monsieur  de  Grival. 

[Youatt  gives  the  note  to  De  Grival,  who 
reads  it.  Wilhelmina  sings  the  second 
verse  of  the  song,  a?id  is  applauded. 

Thomasin. 

[^Quietly  to  Tweenwayes.]     I've  given  Andre  de 
Grival  directions  how  to  —  how  to  call  upon  us. 

Tweenwayes. 
[Glaring  at  De  Grival.]     Why  to  him  ? 

Thomasin. 
Don't  you  like  him  .? 


THE  AMAZONS.  117 

TwEENWAYES. 

We  —  we  are  accustomed  to  take  the  lead  in  such 

matters. 

NOELINE. 

\To  everybody.']     Any  more  tea?      Lord   Tween- 
wayes,  Lord  Litterly,  Monsieur  de  Grival  ? 

\_T/ie  77ien  declme.  Noeline  rises.,  and  fhey 
all  folloiv.  TwEENWAYES  quietly  disap- 
pears. Noeline  and  Litterly  stand 
together.  Fitton  re-enters ;  he  and 
YouATT  replace  the  tea-things  i?i  the 
basket,  fold  the  camp-stools  and  finally 
deposit  them  on  the  basket,  then  Youatt 
goes  off  through  the  gate  and  Fitton 
goes  away  to  the  left. 

Litterly. 

[7t;    Noeline.]     Lady    Noeline,    permit    me    to 
thank  you  for  a  most  delightful  day. 

Noeline. 

Delightful !     You  are    still   nursing   your  arm,  I 
see. 

Litterly. 

{Cheerfully.]     My  arm  is  exceedingly  painful — I 
wouldn't  lose  a  throb  of  it. 

Noeline. 
I  —  I  struck  you,  I'm  afraid. 


Ii8  THE  AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLV. 

There's  a  singing  in  my  ear  —  but  it's  your  voice. 

NOELINE. 

Perhaps  I  —  I  ought  to  apologise  for  losing  my 
temper.     Please  forget  it. 

LiTTERLY. 

No,  don't  deprive  me  even  of  the  recollection  of 
—  your  temper. 

WiLHELMINA. 

\To  De  Grival,  who  is  replacing  the  guitar  in  the 
tree.'\     Good-bye,  Monsieur  de  Grival. 

Thomasin. 

\To  WiLHELMINA.]  No,  no.  He's  coming  up  to 
the  Hall  by-and-bye  with  Tweeny,  to  have  a  smoke 
and  a  chat  with  you  and  me. 

WiLHELMINA. 

\Horrified.'\  Tommy  ! 

NOELINE. 

Now  boys  !     Where  are  the  guns  } 

\The  gims  are  collected,  and  Wilhelmina, 
Thomasin,  and  Noeline  stand  together, 
guns  in  hand. 

Noeline. 
We've  just  time  to  walk  through  Silverthorn  Cop- 


THE  AMAZONS.  119 

pice  before  dusk.  \_Takifig  her  place  between  Wilhel- 
MiNA  and  Thomasin.]  Gentlemen,  a  final  word  — 
\looking  round. '\  Where  is  Lord  Tweenwayes. 

Thomasin. 
{Calling?^  Tweenwayes  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Tweeny 

De  Grival, 
Tweenwayes,  my  friend ! 

All. 
Tweenwayes 

[Tweenwayes   enters  from  below  the  hedge. 
A  red  flush  suffuses  his  nose  and  cheeks. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh,  dear ! 

Thomasin. 
Queer,  Tweeny  ? 

Tweenwayes. 
We  ought  never  to  take  tea. 

Noeline. 

Gentlemen,  my  brothers  and  I  bid  you  good  after- 
noon. 

Thomasin. 
Good-afternoon. 


I20  THE  AMAZONS. 

WiLHELMINA. 


Good-afternoon. 


NOELINE. 


We  have  been  extremely  wrong  in  receiving  you 
here. 

Thomasin. 
{Emphatically.^  Yes. 

NOELINE. 

You  are  almost  equally  to  blame  for  permitting 
us  to  do  so. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Ah,  yes. 

Thomasin. 
No  doubt  about  that! 

NOELINE. 

We  ask  you  to  forget  that  you  have  entered  Over- 
cote  Park.  In  a  few  hours  the  grass  will  revive 
where  you  have  trodden  —  let  that  be  a  hint  to 
your  memories.  Now  be  kind  enough  to  leave  the 
park  at  once.     Good-bye. 

[  The  men  advance  together  and  shake  hands 
with  the  girls. 

LiTTERLY. 

Thanks  for  a  splendid  time, 


THE  AMAZONS.  I2I 

TWEENWAYES. 

Most  interesting  day. 

De  Grival. 
Ah,  I  have  liked  myself  here  ! 

\The  men  return  to  their  places,  raising  their 


hats  as 

the  girls  go  through 

the 

gate. 

Where's 

Fitton  ? 

NOELINE. 

Jo! 

Thomasin. 

He 

'11  follow. 

WiLHELMINA. 

NOELINE. 

Come,  boys  ! 

\They  disappear.  Sunset  appears.  Litterly 
sits  thoughtfully ;  Tweenwayes  and  De 
Grival  stand  together,  eyeing  him. 

De  Grival. 

\To  Tweenwayes.]     What  to  do  "i     How  to  give 
Barrington  the  slip  ? 

Tweenwayes. 

\To  De  Grival.]     We    simply   leave   the   park 
now  with  him  and  walk  to  the  station. 

De  Grival. 
Don'  cher  know  ? 


122  THE  AMAZONS. 

TWEENWAYES. 

It  will  be  easy  to  invent  an  excuse  for  our  not 
sharing  his  compartment.  P'or  instance,  he  will 
smoke. 

De  Grival, 

Ah,  necessity  is  the  mother  of  objecting  to  a 
smoking-carriage  ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

Just  as  the  train  is  starting  we  two  get  out  and 
speed  back  to  Overcote. 

De  Grival. 

My  friend  !     How  quick  the  brain 

TWEENWAYES. 

We  are  seldom  at  a  loss.  {^Advancing  to  LiT- 
TERLV.]      You   catch   the   next    train,    I   presume, 

Litterly  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

\Iu differently P\  Oh,  I  catch  it  or  lose  it.  \lo 
himself ^^     She's  glorious  ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

\Annoyed^     De  Grival  and  I  catch  it. 

Litterly. 

Good  luck,  old  chaps,  \To  himself^  She's 
splendid  1 


THE  AMAZONS  123 

TWEENWAVES. 

It  would  have  been  pleasant  for  us  all  to  have 
/nished  the  day  together. 

LiTTERLY. 

Don't  bother  about  me  ;  I  may  stroll  about  and 
go  back  later. 

[De  Grival  and  Tweenwayes   retire  and 
consult  together. 

De  Grival. 
\To  Tweenwayes. J     What  to  do  } 

Tweenwayes. 
[  Vaguely. '\     We  are  seldom  at  a  loss. 

De  Grival. 
Your  plan  has  broken  up. 

Tweenwayes. 
Dash  it,  manage  it  yourself ! 

De  Grival. 

[Coming  to  Litterly.]  My  dear  Barrington,  our 
word  to  the  ladies.  Honesty  is  the  best  way  out  of 
the  park.  \_Taking  Tweenwayes'  artn.'\  Tween- 
wayes and  I  now  go. 

Ditterly. 
\Rising.'\     Oh,  which  way  t 


124  THE  AMAZONS. 

De  Grival. 
The  way  we  entered. 

LiTTERLY. 

All  right  —  run  along. 

De  Grival. 
\_To  LiTTERLY.]     Which  way  do  you  .!* 

LiTTERLY. 

The  way  /  entered.  [  Waving  his  haTidJ]  See 
you  soon. 

De  Grival. 

[  Waving  his  hand.']  A  pleasant  picnic  together  ! 
Good-bye  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

[^Taking  out  a  cigarette 7\     Ta,  ta ! 

Tweenwayes. 

[Glaring  at  Litterly.]     He  drops  us  !    Insolent ! 

[Tweenwayes  and  De  Grival  go  off,  arm- 
in-arm,  below  the  hedge.  Litterly  espies 
Thomasin's  7iote  which  De  Grival  has 
dropped  by  the  tree. 

Litterly. 

\_Picking  up  the  note.~\  Hullo  !  \_jReading.']  "  Dear 
M.  de  Grival.  Am  asking  you  and  Tweenwayes  to 
come  up  to  the  Hall  when  dark  to  see  me  and  Billy 


THE  AMAZONS.  125 

and  to  talk  about  snubbing  this  horrid  Litterly,  who 
no  one  excepting  Noef  likes  poking  his  nose  about 
our  park."  Illiterate  little  beast !  \Resiimi7ig.'\ 
"  We  can't  entertain  you  tip-top,  as  it  must  be  in 
our  old  shut-up  schoolroom,  but  there  will  be  a 
decent  weed  and,  please  Heaven,  sloes  in  brandy. 
The  following  is  the  way  in."  [^Lookitig  after 
TwEENWAYES  and  De  Grival.]  Confound  'em ! 
[Resummg.']  "  Skirt  the  lawn  and  make  for  East 
Wing.  Clamber  on  to  red-tiled  lean-to  outhouse. 
From  there  on  to  roof  of  dwarf  tower.  Find  the 
skylight.  Lift  up  skylight  and  drop  through. 
Wait  in  the  dark  till  we  turn  up.  Tweeny  has 
accepted.  Keep  your  eye  on  him  when  on  the  roof 
as  he  is  a  bit  gone  over  at  the  knees.  Yours  up 
to  date.  T.  Belturbet."  Designing  little  mass  of 
tattoo !  I  say,  by  Jove,  I'll  play  the  dooce  with 
these  fellows  ! 

[De  Grival  rtms  up,  scared,  hatless,  afid dis- 
ordered. 

De  Grival. 
My  dear  Barrington  ! 

Litterly. 
\_Slipping  the  note  into  his  pocket?^  Hullo  ! 

De  Grival, 

We  ha've  encountered  —  not  a  pirate  —  no,  no,  a 
poacher.     We  are  hurt. 

Litterly. 
Where's  Tweenwayes? 


126  THE  AMAZONS. 

T  WEEN  WAVES  enters.  His  hat  is  crushed  down  over 
his  eyes,  his  clothes  are  torn.,  and  generally  he  pre- 
sents evidence  o/havifig  been  engaged  in  a  struggle. 

De  Grival. 
[Embracing  Tweenwaves.]  My  friend  ! 

Litterly. 

[Pulling  De  Grival  away.'\  What  have  they 
been  doing  to  you,  Tweeny  ? 

Tweenwaves. 

Just  as  we  got  to  the  brook  —  great  hulking  brute 
—  putting  down  nets  —  never  heard  such  language 
in  my  life  —  wanted  to  know  why  an  honest  man 
wasn't  allowed  to  earn  a  living.  I  said  we  never 
answered  questions  of  that  sort  — 

De  Grival. 

My  head ! 

Tweenwaves. 

Yes,  yes,  the  wretch  knocked  De  Grival's  head 
against  mine,  twice. 

De  Grival. 

Three  times. 

Tweenwaves. 

Possibly.  I  left  off  counting.  Luckily  somebody 
came  up  and  enabled  us  to  get  away.  A  poaching 
beast ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  127 

LiTTERLY. 

Come  on,  you  chaps  ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

\_Detai7iing  Litterly.]  No,  no,  don't  interfere  — 
he's  choking  the  keeper.  [Litterly  rti7is  oj^.]  Oh, 
it's  a  filthy  park  ! 

De  Grival. 

\Leaning  against  a  tree.]  My  head  is  a  very  bad 
one. 

TwEENWAYES. 

\^Feeling  his  leg?^  We  can't  stand  being  knocked 
about.     Heavens,  this  limb  is  injured  ! 

De  Grival. 
Did  you  see  me  kick  him  ? 

Tweenwaves. 
Kick  him  ! 

De  Grival. 

The  poacher  —  I  thought  I  had  broken  him. 

Tweenwaves. 

Fool !  that  was  my  leg  ! 

Orts,  a  most  forbidding-looking  rustic,  emerges  from 
the  thicket. 

De  Grival. 

\Turning?^     Ah ! 


128  THE  AMAZONS. 

Orts, 

Theer  'ee  be  agen !  Git  'ee  out  of  my  way ! 
\Fli7iging  De  Grival  to  the  ground  and  dealing 
TwEENWAYES  a  blow  which  knocks  him  down.']  I  be 
a  poor  agricultural  labourer.  Gi'  me  all  the  goold 
you've  got  on  'ee  ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

S^Emptying  his  pockets.]  Oh,  this  is  an  atrocious 
park  !     [^Giving  his  money  to  Orts.]     Go  away  ! 

Orts. 

Farmin'  be  bad  in  these  parts,  I  tell  'ee.  This 
beaint  all ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

[Faintly.']     We  never  carry  much  loose  money. 

Orts. 
Then  I'll  blacken  thy  other  eye  for  'ee ! 

TWEENWAVES. 

My  friend  changed  a  note  this  morning !  Try 
my  friend  ! 

[Orts  ttirns  to  De  Grival,  who  commences 
to  search  for  his  money. 

Orts. 

\_To  De  Grival.]  I  tell  'ee  I  be  thoroughly  de- 
servin' !     Thy  goold  ! 

LiTTERLY  enters  from  below  the  hedge,  followed  by 
FiTTON.  He  seizes  Orts  and  pinions  him  /rom 
behind. 


THE  AMAZONS.  129 

LiTTERLY. 

[  To  FiTTON.]  Your  belt,  Fitton  !  Do  you  know 
the  scoundrel  ? 

[Fitton  takes  a  strap  from  his  waist,  and 
he  and  Litterly  secure  Orts's  arms. 

Fitton. 

John  Orts,  m'lord  ;  a  poacher  since  he  were  a 
babby ! 

Orts. 

I  be  the  sole  support  o'  my  mother,  I  be.  Not 
a  single  Sunday  marnin'  sarvice  "ave  I  missed  at 
Scrumleigh  church  this  ten  year. 

Litterly. 
Now  then,  Fitton,  what  shall  we  do  ? 

Fitton. 

[7^  Litterly.]  If  we  make  p'lice  business  o' 
this  m'lord,  it'll  come  out  theer's  been  some  rakes 
about  th'  park  arter  our  young  gentlemen.  Folks 
will  be  talking. 

Litterly. 

\_To  Fitton.]  That's  true.  Better  run  the 
scoundrel  off  the  place  and  have  done  with  him. 

TWEENWAYES. 

\_Faintly?[  Another  moment  and  I  should  have 
had  his  name  and  address. 


130  THE  AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLY. 

\To  FiTTON.]  Put  my  frienas  on  their  legs. 
[71?  Orts.]     Get  on! 

Orts. 

\^Going^^  I  were  i'  th'  church  choir  five  year, 
singin'  loike  a  cherrybim. 

\He  disappears,  'Litty.ki.y  followifig  him. 

FiTTON. 

\_Raisitig  TwEENWAYES.  ]  Hey,  thy  left  eye  be  a 
rum'un, 

[TwEENWA YES  sits  oti  the  stump  of  a  tree  ;  his 
eye  is  slightly  discoloured.  FiTTON  picks 
up  De  Grival. 

TWEENVVAYES, 

[Almost  in  tears.']     Heavens,  what  a  park! 

De  Grival. 
[Zb  FiTTON.]     A  doctor  very  near  ?     Tell  me. 

FiTTON. 

If  it  be  only  bruises,  sir,  Bowser,  High  Street, 
Scrumleigh,  Chemist  and  Druggist. 

De  Grival. 

\_To  Tweenwayes.]  My  friend,  let  us  go  and  be 
drugged.  \L00ki71g  at  Tweenwayes,  who  rises.] 
Ah,  a  great  change  in  you. 


THE  AMAZONS.  131 

TWEENWAYES. 

We  scar  quickly. 

De  Grival. 

{Taking  his  arfn.]  It  is  a  wise  father  who  knows 
his  own  friend  when  he  has  such  a  bad  eye. 

[TwEEN WAVES  and  De  Grival   disappear. 
After  a  brief  pause,  De  Grival  returns. 

De  Grival. 

{Calling  to  Tweenwayes.]  In  a  moment  I  come 
after  you.  {2o  Fitton,  hurriedly ^^  Mister  what- 
your-name,  I  did  not  rescue  you  from  that  pirate  — 
that  poacher  1 

Fitton. 

{Touching  his  cap.]  No,  sir,  that  I  swear  ye 
didn't. 

De  Grival. 
No  —  but  it  would  not  hurt  you  to  swear  I  did. 

Fitton. 
Well,  sir  — 

De  Grival. 

Listen  to  me  —  {Taking  a  handful  of  money  from 
his  pocket.  Tweenwayes  re-enteriftg  unperceived, 
steals  down  suspiciously,  a?id  stands  behind  De 
Grival  atid  Fitton,  listening.']  You  go  to  Lady- 
Wilhelmina  directly,  at  once.  {Giving  him  money.] 
One  sovereign.     You  tell  her  of  this  affair.     {Giv- 


132  THE   AMAZONS. 

ing  him  money.']  Two  pound.  You  say  I  found 
that  poacher  strangling  your  throat.  [Giving  him 
money.']  Another.  You  tell  Lady  Wilhelmina  I 
kick  him,  I  rescue  you,  I  kick  j^ou  —  no,  no,  I  kick 
him  again.  I  save  your  life,  ah,  bravely !  \_Givitig 
him  more  mo?iey.']     Don'  cher  know  ! 

TWEENWAVES. 

{^Coming  between  Fitton  and  De  Grival.]  Mon- 
sieur de  Grival ! 

De  Grival. 

Ah! 

Tweenwayes. 

Permit  me  to  say  that,  if  any  representation  of 
this  kind  is  made  —  / —  I  must  be  — 

De  Grival. 

In  a?  [Tweenwayes  bows  with  dignity.']  I  have 
no  objection. 

Tweenwayes. 

[To  Fitton.]  You  will  see  Lady  Thomasin  as 
well  as  Lady  Wilhelmina.  [Searching  his  pockets.] 
Monsieur  de  Grival  and  /found  the  poacher  chok- 
ing you.  This  gentleman  and  /,  at  great  personal 
risk,  preserved  your  —  heavens,  that  villain  has  my 
money ! 

De  Grival. 

Ah  !  [Producing  money  and  offering  it  to  Tween- 
wayes.]    I  loan  you. 


THE  AMAZONS.  133 

TWEENWAYES. 

[71?  himself,  hesitating?^  Can  I?  \^Taking  the 
money  and  giving  it  to  Fitton.]     You  understand  ? 

FiTTON. 

[^Touching  his  cap.]     Yes,  m'lord. 

[TwEENWAYES  moves  away. 

De  Grival. 

\_To  Fitton, pointing  to  Tweenwayes.]  We  now 
save  your  life,  both  of  us,  ah,  bravely !  Don'cher 
know  ? 

Fitton. 

I  know,  sir. 

De  Grival. 

[Going  to  Tweenwayes.]  We  reconcile  each 
other  ?  [Tweenwayes  reluctantly  extends  ttvo fingers. 
De  Grival  cheerfully  takes  his  arm  again.]  My 
friend  !  [  They  go  off.     It  is  now  dusk. 

Fitton. 

[Counting  his  money.]     Dang  it,  it  won't  do  me 

no  hurt  tellin'  a  few  lies  about  'un.  Two  —  three 
—  four. 

LiTTERLY  re-enters. 

Litterly. 
Where  are  my  friends,  Fitton  ? 

Fitton. 
[Pocketing  the  money.]     They  be  just  gone. 


134  THE   AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLY. 

\^To  himself^  chuckling.']  By  Jove,  I  mean  to  play 
Old  Harry  with  'em !  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  \_Sitiing  and 
holdmg  his  arm.]     Oh,  I  say  ! 

FlTTON. 

Twisted  thy  arm,  m'lord  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

[  Taking  out  his  pocket-handkerchief.  ]  Fitton,  wrap 
this  handkerchief  round  my  wrist,  as  tightly  as  you 
can.     [7^  himself.]     Ho,  ho,  these  fellows  ! 

Fitton. 

{^Looking  at  Litterly's  arm?\  Eh,  the  scoundrel's 
hurt'ee  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

No,  no,  Lady  Noeline  was  kind  enough  to  do  that 
with  a  hair-pin  and  a  red  root  that  grows  about  the 
park.  Lady  Noeline  and  I  are  cousins,  you  know, 
Fitton.     Go  on. 

Fitton 
\Blankly^     A  red  root  that  grows  hereabouts. 

LiTTERLY. 

Yes.  \Putting  his  foot  on  a  piece  of  the  root  which 
lies  on  the  ground.]     Here's  a  bit  of  it. 

Fitton. 
\_Picking  up  the  root.]     That  ? 


THE  AMAZONS.  135 

NOELINE. 

\In  the  distance,  calling.']     Joe  !     Halloa  !    Fitton  ! 

FiTTON. 

{^Going  to  the  gate.]  The  young  gentlemen  be  on 
their  way  back  to  the  Hall. 

LiTTERLY  hastily  conceals  himself  behind  a  tree. 
NoELiNE  enters. 

NOELINE. 

\_Stopping  at  the  gate.]  Fitton,  why  do  you  leave 
us  like  this  ? 

Fitton. 

[TJ;  NoELiNE,  over  the  gate.]  'Scuse  me,  m'lord 
[^showing  the  sprig  he  has  in  his  hand],  be  that  the 
weed  you've  been  ruddling  young  Lord  Latterby's 
arm  wi'  ? 

NOELINE. 

Who  told  you  anything  about  that  ?  Take  my 
gun  ;  I'm  going  home. 

Fitton. 
M'lord.  this  be  the  wrong  stuff,  I  tell'ee. 

NOELINE. 

Eh? 

Fitton, 

The  Red  Root  hasn't  grown  here  at  Overcote 
many  a  year.  This  'ere  be  crimson  snake-wort ;  it 
be  a  rank  bad  poison,  they  do  tell  me. 


136  THE   AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

[Coming  through  the  gate.'^     Fitton  ! 

FiTTON. 

[Looking  towards  the  tree.']     Sssh  ! 

NOELINE. 

Fitton,  you  don't  mean  —  to  say — I've  really 
hurt  my  cousin's  arm  ! 

Fitton. 

Lord  Latterby,  m'lord. 

[NoELiNE  sees  Litterly.    Fitton  goes  quietly 
away.     Litterly  advances  to  Noeline. 

NOELINE. 

[Agitatedly.]     Oh,  Lord  Litterly  —  ! 

Litterly. 
I  say,  here's  a  game  ! 

Noeline. 

A  game  !  Don't  stand  there  looking  at  me  !  Get 
out  of  the  park !  Why  did  you  ever  come  here  ? 
Go  —  go  to  Doctor  Flack  at  Great  Overcote ! 
Don't  you  hear  me?  [Shaking  him.]  Run — run 
to  Doctor  Flack  ! 

Litterly. 

[Calmly.]  Why,  I've  never  been  to  a  doctor  in 
my  life. 


THE  AMAZONS.  137 

NOELINE. 

\Faintly^  You  must  now.  \_Clingi?ig  to  him.'] 
Oh!  oh! 

LiTTERLY. 

\Supp07-ting  her,  soothi7igJy.'\  Don't!  don't!  Ah, 
I  know  how  to  hold  you  ! 

NOELINE. 

\^Getting  away.']  How  dare  you  ;  I — I  hate 
you  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Do  you  !     Then  I  swear  to  go  to  no  doctor 

NOELINE. 

Pshaw !  What  do  I  care  !  It  serves  you  right. 
[^Going  up  to  the  gate  and  opening  it;  while  he  sits 
whistling.  Then  hesitating  and  returtiing  to  him.] 
Lord  Litterly  — ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Hullo  ? 

NOELINE. 

Won't  anything  make  you  go  to  the  doctor  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

Yes,  tell  me  you  don't  hate  me. 

NOELINE. 

[After  a  pause.]     I  don't  hate  you. 

[He  rises  and  clasps  her  in  his  arms.     Thom- 
ASiN  a«^  WiLHELMiNA  enter  followed  by 

FiTTON. 


138  THE  AMAZONS. 

Thomasin. 

\^At  the  ga/e.]  Noel !  [Noeline  a»d  Litterly 
separate.  Meeting  Litterly  and  speakifig  fiercely.'] 
What  do  you  mean  by  this  ? 

Litterly. 

\_Triu7npluv1tly.']     Ha,  ha!     Cousin  Tommy ! 

\^He  thro7vs  his  arms  round  Thomasin  and 
kisses  her.  She  screams  in  a  very  feminine 
way.     He  runs  off. 

Thomasin. 

\^Rubl)ing  her  face  vigorously  with  her  handkerchief 
and  speaking  to  Noeline.]  You  —  you —  !  Do  you 
call  yourself  a  man  ? 

Noeline. 
No !     I'm  a  girl  !     I  don't  want  to  be  anything 
else  ! 

S^She  rims  off,  through  the  open  gate.  WiL- 
helmina,  Thomasin  and  Fitton  re- 
main  looking  after  her. 


END   OF    SECOND   ACT. 


THE  AMAZONS.  139 


THE   THIRD   ACT. 

The  scene  is  a  gymnasium  at  Ovenote  Hall — a  large 
apartment  artistically  decorated  and  Jitted  with 
gymnastic  apparatus.  Halfway  up  the  room  is 
an  arch,  which,  supported  on  two  pilasters,  di- 
vides the  ceiling  from  the  sky-lights.  A  door  on 
the  left  opens  on  to  a  passage,  while  on  the  right 
is  the  door  of  a  spacious  cupboard.  A  vaulting- 
horse,  a  suspended  rope,  parallel  bars  and  a  hori- 
zontal bar  are  pro?nitient  features  of  the  apart- 
ment, while  there  are  also  a  settee,  table,  and 
upright  pianoforte.  The  place  is  in  darkness,  but 
a  faint  blue  is  seen  throtigh  the  sky-lights  and  the 
large  windo7v  at  the  end  of  the  room.  After  a 
short  silefice,  there  are  the  sounds  of  metCs  voices 
in  whispers  and  the  breaking  of  glass ;  then  a 
mail's  hat  drops  from  above,  and  De  Grival  is 
seen  descending,  xvith  difficulty,  with  the  aid  of  the 
rope. 

De  Grival. 

[/«    a   whisper   to   Tweenwayes,  who  is   above.'] 
Tweenwayes,  my  friend,  be  careful  ;  it  is  not  easy. 


I40 


THE  AMAZONS. 


TWEENWAYES. 

{^Out  of  sight.']     Oh  !  look  out !    I'm  descending  ! 
\_Coming  down.']     Hold  the  thing  !  hold  it ! 


Hold  where  ? 


[^Nearly    down.] 
[  Under  his  breaih.] 


De  Grival. 


TWEENWAYES. 

The   rope ! 
Fool !  fool ! 


{He  falls.]     Ah  ! 


De  Grival. 


You  are  hurt ! 


TwEENWAYES. 


\Crawling  along.]     Heavens,  yes  ! 

[De  Grival  picks  him  up.  Their  appear- 
ance is  very  dilapidated.  De  Grival's 
clothes  are  soiled,  his  hair  has  become  la?ik, 
and  there  is  a  star-shaped  patch  of  white 
plaster  on  his  brow.  Tweenwayes  wears 
a  small  black  shade  over  his  injured  eye. 

De  Grival. 

One  thing  we  may  congratulate  ourselves  —  we 
arrive. 

Tweenwayes. 

Arrive  !  How  can  I  be  certain  that  we  have 
strictly  carried  out  Lady  Thomasin's  instructions  ? 
The  mere  idea  of  your  losing  that  note  fills  me  with 
—  [  Walking  against  the  vaulting  horse.]     Oh  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  141 

De  Grival. 

My  friend,  what  is  done  cannot  be  made  different 
—  [  Coming  into  contact  with  the  support  of  the  hori- 
zontal dar.]     Ah !  damitall ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

{^Examining  the  vaulting  horse  and  the  horizontal 
bar  with  the  aid  of  his  magnifying  glass.  ~\  De  Grival, 
I  have  a  shocking  misgiving. 

De  Grival. 
Misgiving  ? 

Tweenwayes. 

Heavens,  I  believe  we're  in  the  Gymnasium  ! 

De  Grival. 
G)rmnasium  ! 

Tweenwayes. 

Our  instincts  are  rarely  at  fault.  [Coming  against 
the  parallel  bars.]     Oh  ! 

De  Grival. 
You  are  hurt } 

Tweenwayes. 
Yes. 

De  Grival. 

But  I  remember  Lady  Thomasin's  letter,  every 
word  of  it.  [Holding  his  head.]  "  Clamber  on  to 
our  old  schoolroom  .  .  .  find  a  skylight  in  a  roof 
...  lift  up  the  tiles  of  a  outhouse  .  .  .  climb  on  to 


142  THE  AMAZONS. 

a  tower  .  .  .   drop  ofif  and  wait  there  till  we  turn  up 
.  .  .  yours,  gone  over  at  the  knees,  T,  Belturbet," 

[TwEENWAYES  falls  over  the  Indian  clubs  ; 
there  is  a  great  rattle. 

De  Grival. 
You  are  hurt  again  ? 

Tweenwayes. 

Yes.      But   wasn't   there    something    about   the 
West  Wing  ?     You  said  so. 

De  Grival. 
Certainly,  the  West  Wing.    Or  the  —  ah,  I  think  ! 

Tweenwayes. 
You  think ! 

De  Grival. 

My  friend,  pardon  me  —  I  fear  I  have  changed  a 
wing ! 

Tweenwayes. 

{^To  himself. 1     Fool !  fool  !     {Starting  back  as  his 
ha  fid  drops  on  to  the  keys  of  the  piano. \     Oh  ! 


You  are  hurt ! 


No,  I  am  not ! 


De  Grival. 


Tweenwayes. 


THE  AMAZONS.  143 

De  Grival. 
{^Joining  him.']     What  to  do? 

TWEENWAYES. 

You  may  do  what  you  please,  Monsieur  de 
Grival ;  so  far  as  I  am  concerned,  this  visit  to  Over- 
cote  has  come  to  a  wretched  close. 

\_IIe  goes  to  the  rope,  attempts  to  climb  it,  and 
fails. 

De  Grival. 
[  Watching  him.]     Ah,  you  cannot ! 

TwEENWAYES. 

Heavens,  it's  beyond  me !  \Sitting  on  the  settee 
despofidingly.]  What  a  horrible  predicament !  This 
reminds  me  of  many  a  page  in  our  history.  The 
dungeon,  the  prisoner.  {^Rubbing  his  shins.]  Even 
the  implements  of  torture  ! 

De  Grival. 
\Sitting  beside  him  in  great  dejection.]     My  spirits 

go- 

Tweenwayes. 

We  have  no  spirits. 

De  Grival. 

\_Taking  his  hafid.]     My  friend! 

\_A  pair  of  legs  appear  from  above  clinging  to 
the  rope. 


144  THE  AMAZONS 

TwEEN WAVES  and  De  Grival. 
Ohl 

De  Grival. 
\In  a  whisper^     What  is  it  ? 

TWEENWAVES. 

Surely,  legs. 

De  Grival. 
Ah,  Wilhelmina ! 

[  The  legs  descend  and  Litterly  is  revealed. 

De  Grival. 
\Rising^     Barrington ! 

Tweenwayes. 
\Rising?[     Litterly ! 

Litterly. 

Hullo  !  There  you  are  ! 

[Litterly  comes  between  De  Grival  and 
Tweenwayes.  His  arm  is  siting  in  a 
black  silk  handkerchief. 

Litterly. 

Now  then,  I  should  like  to  know  what  you've  got 
to  say  for  yourselves. 

Tweenwayes. 
We  never  give  explanations. 


THE  AMAZONS.  145 

LiTTERLY. 

\To  TwEENWAYES.]  You  catch  the  next  train, 
don't  you  ? 

TwEENWAYES. 

Really,  this  tone  —  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

It  would  be  pleasant  to  finish  the  day  together, 
wouldn't  it?  \To  De  Grival.]  Our  word  to  the 
ladies  !  Honesty  is  the  best  way  out  of  the  park ! 
\_Taking  Tweenwayes'  arm.'\  Tweenwayes  and  I 
now  go  ! 

De  Grival. 

{^Penitently ?^   My  friend  ! 

Tweenwayes. 

\_Releasing  hifuself.']  You  may  not  be  aware,  Lit- 
terly,  that  De  Grival  and  I  are  here  in  the  position 
of  invited  guests. 

LiTTERLY. 

Oh,  yes,  I'm  aware  of  it.  {Handing  Thomasin's 
note  to  De  Grival.]     I  picked  up  the  invitation. 

De  Grival  and  Tweenwayes. 
Ah! 

LiTTERLY. 

And  you  may  not  be  aware,  my  dear  Tweeny, 
that  that  invitation  directs  you  to  the  East  Wing, 
and  you  are  now  in  the  West  Wing. 


146  THE  AMAZONS 

TWEENWAYES. 

Monsieur  de  Grival ! 

De  Grival. 
Ah,  I  commit  an  error !     Pardon  me  ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

Never  !     We  never  forgive  an  injury  of  this  kind. 
\To  LiTTERLY.]  How  am  I  togetout.!" 

LiTTERLY. 

The  rope  — 

De  Grival. 
Bah !  he  cannot  climb  it ! 

TWEENWAYES. 

Nor  you,  sir  !     [  Under  his  breath?\     Insolent ! 

De  Grival. 
You  say  so  !     I  try ! 

\He  goes  to  the  rope  and  attempts  to  climb  it. 

LiTTERLY. 

[  Walking  about.']  I've  followed  you  fellows  over 

about  five  miles  of  roof.     Where  the  dooce  have 

you  got  to  ?     Why,  I  say,  confound  you,  we're  in 
the  gym. ! 

Tweenwayes. 

I  knew  it !     I  felt  it ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  147 

LiTTERLY. 

By  Jove,  this  is  too  bad  of  us  —  we  really  ought 
to  draw  the  line  somewhere.  {Pointing  to  the  i/oor.] 
Isn't  that  the  door  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

[Opening-  the  door  cautiously ?\  A  passage.  And 
lights  at  the  end  of  it  {closing  the  door']. 

LiTTERLY. 

[  opening  the  opposite  door.]     A  cupboard. 
De  Grival. 

{Half -way  up  the  rope.]  Ah,  I  succeed !  I  tri- 
umph !     I  do  it !     Don'  cher  know  ! 

LiTTERLY, 

Bravo,  Andre' !  We  shall  have  to  leave  Tweeny 
behind  us  ! 

Tweenwayes. 
[  Under  his  breath^     Insolent ! 

{The  electric  lights  are  switched  on,  and  the 
scene  becomes  suddenly  bright.  De  Grival 
descends  precipitately. 


Ah! 
Heavens 


De  Grival, 
Tweenwayes. 


148  THE  AMAZON'S. 

LiTTERLY. 

I  say ! 

TWEENWAVES. 

Voices  !  voices  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

\^At  the  cupboard  door.']     Look  out,  you  fellows  ! 

[De  Grival  runs  into  the  cupboard,  and 
L.iT'X^KL.y pushes  in  Tweenwayes,  who  is 
hesitating,  theft  goes  in  himself.  After  a 
brief  pause,  '■'■  SergeaJit''^  Shuter  enters. 
She  wears  a  costume  of  coarse,  dark 
material,  a  blouse,  a  skirt  finishing  just 
below  the  knees,  and  gymnasium  shoes. 

Shuter. 

\^At-  the  door.]  Now  then,  m'lord  !  Where  are 
the  rest  t  A  quarter-of-an-hour  late  as  it  is ! 
[Thomasin,  Wilhelmina,  and  Noeline  enter. 
They  are  enveloped  in  long  cloaks.]  What's  the 
matter  with  you  this  evening  ?  You  all  seem  as 
stupid  as  owls,  every  one  of  you  ' 

Thomasin. 

Don't  you  be  cheeky,  Sergeant,  or  I'll  tell  the 
mater. 

Shuter. 
/'//  tell  her  ladyship. 

Thomasin. 
We're  not  inclined  for  the  gym.  to-night.     There  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  149 

WiLHELMINA. 

We  —  we've  had  rather  a  tiring  day,  Sergeant. 

Shuter. 

[  To  NoELiNE,  who  is  leaning  dejectedly  against  the 
vaulting-horse.']  Well,  Lord  Noel,  if  ever  I  did  see 
anybody  looking  exactly  like  putty —  ! 

NOELINE. 

I  don't  care  what  I  look  like  ! 

Shuter. 

{^Clapping  her  hands.']  Come  along,  now  !  Key, 
please  !  [Noeline  locks  the  door  and  takes  out  the 
key.  Bringing  dow7i  the  Indian  clubs.]  I  always 
have  said  that  when  your  lordships  come  back  from 
these  wretched  holiday-trips  your  muscles  are  like 
apple  jelly. 

Noeline. 

[^Throwing  her  the  key.]     Catch  and  be  quiet ! 

[Shuter  catches  the  key  and  slips  it  into  her 
pocket. 

Shuter. 

[Bringing  down  the  bar  bells.]  If  I  were  m'lady 
I'd  stop  visitings  altogether.  [Noeline  sits  on  the 
settee  in  an  attitude  of  despondency.]  There's  the  re- 
sult of  it !  I  suppose  you've  been  dancing  half  the 
night  through  in  those  petticoats  of  yours  !  Ah,  I 
wonder  you  like  to  wear  such  things  !    [^Bringing 


150  THE  AMAZONS. 

down  the  dumb  bel/s.']     Now  then,  Lord  Tommy  — 
Lord  Willy  ! 

[WiLHELMiNA  ^«</Thomasin  hurry  fofward 
sulkily. 

WiLHELMiNA  and  Thomasin. 
\To  themselves ?[     Oh  ! 

Shuter. 

\Turning  up  her  sleeves.]     Ten   minutes'    simple 
exercise  to  thaw  the  ice.    Ready  ?  [Zoudly.]  Ready  ? 

NOELINE. 

[^/V/>/^.]     Yes. 

WiLHELMiNA. 

Yes. 

Thomasin. 

[Z^z/rZ/y.]     Yes. 

Shuter. 

Come,  my  lords  !     A  good  appetite  for  dinner  ! 

[Shuter  s/ts  at  the  piano  and  thumps  out  a 
strongly  marked  tune.  The  girls  take  off 
their  cloaks  and  thro7V  them  down  angrily  ; 
they  are  in  elegantly  made  gymnasium 
dresses  of  differefit  colours. 

NOELINE. 

\^Pushing  Thomasin.]     There's  no  room  for  me 
here. 


THE  AMAZONS.  151 

Thomasin. 
\Obstif lately?^     This  is  my  place. 

NOELINE. 

You're  a  most  ungentlemanly  fellow. 

Thomasin. 
Because  I  caught  you  kissing  Litterly! 

NOELINE. 

What  —  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

[^Coming  between  them   with  the  dumb  bells  in  her 
hands.']     Oh,  please  don't  quarrel  again  !     Don't ! 

NOELINE. 

Never  interfere,  Willy ! 

Thomasin. 

Out  of  the  way,  baby  ! 

[WiLHELMINA  is  pushed  over  to  the  settee., 
where  she  sits  crying  and  rubbitig  the 
dumb  bells  ifito  her  eyes. 

NOELINE. 

[7<?  Thomasin.]     At  any  rate,  if  I  were  to  so  far 
forget  myself,  I  shouldn't  be  kissing  a  worm. 

Thomasin. 
You  allude  to  my  friend  Tweeny ! 


152  THE  AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

{^Swinging  her  clubs.'\  You  seem  —  to  have  no 
doubt  —  as  to  whom  —  the  denomination  —  applies. 

Thomasin. 

\Fiercely,  as  she  picks  up  a  har-heUl\  Noel,  do  you 
remember  my  dropping  a  forty  pound  bar-bell  on  to 
Shuter's  toes,  in  the  summer,  by  accident  ? 

NOELINE. 

Clumsy !     Yes. 

Thomasin. 

\Lifting  her  bar-bell. ~\  Well — /'/  wasn't  an  acci- 
dent. 

NOELINE. 

Oh! 

[Shuter  abruptly  discontinues  playing  and 

looks  around. 

Shuter. 

Well,  I  never  —  !  you  —  you  — ! 

> 

Thomasin,  Wilhelmina  and  Noeline. 

All  right,  Sergeant ! 

\They  commence  their  exercise.  Shuter  re- 
sumes playing,  with  an  occasional  glance 
round.  Keeping  one  eye  on  Shuter, 
Thomasin  gets  near^  io  Wilhelmina. 


i 


THE  AMAZONS.  153 

Thomasin. 

\Speaking  during  her  exercise  to  Wilhelmina.] 
Billy,  I  wonder  when  we  shall  get  to  Tweeny  and 
De  Grival! 

Wilhelmina. 

\To  Thomasin.]  Poor  fellows,  how  lonely  they 
must  be  in  the  dark  ! 

Thomasin. 
I  hope  Tweeny  hasn't  broken  a  leg  or  anything. 

Wilhelmina. 
Oh,  don't ! 

Thomasin. 

He  looks  a  bit  brittle. 

[  Their  exercise  becomes  languid. 

Wilhelmina. 

It  was  awfully  plucky  of  Andre',  protecting  Fitton 
from  that  poacher,  wasn't  it  ? 

Thomasin. 
And  Tweeny ! 

Wilhelmina. 
I  mean  both. 

Thomasin. 

What  did  Fitton  tell  you  about  it  ? 

\They  cease  their  exercise  altogether  and.for- 
getting  Shuter,  sit  on  the  settee  side-by- 
side. 


154  THE  AMAZONS. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Why,  Fitton  said  that  Andrd  lifted  the  poacher 
high  in  the  air,  like  a  baby. 

Thomasin. 

That's  right  —  and  then  threw  him  to  Tweeny 
who  caught  him  ten  yards  ofif. 

WiLHELMINA. 

What  did  Tweenwayes  do  then  ? 

Thomasin. 
Shook  him  blue  and  chucked  him  back  to  Andre. 

WiLHELMINA. 

I  shouldn't  have  thought  Tweenwayes  quite 
equal  to  all  that. 

Thomasin. 
Nor  I  Andre'.     You  never  know  men. 

WiLHELMINA. 

^Sadly.'l  I  suppose  you  oughtn't  to.  [Noeline's 
exercise  has  flagged  by  degrees ;  she  7iow  sits  on  the 
vaulting-horse  with  her  back  to  the  others.'\  Just 
look  at  Noel ! 

Thomasin. 

I  s'pose  Noel  calls  that  club  exercise  —  /call  it 
shirking. 


THE  AMAZONS.  155 

WiLHELMINA. 

Tommy,  it's  an  awful  thing  to  realise,  but,  after 
what  we  saw,  there  can  be  no  doubt  that  Noel  1  — 
1  —  likes  Litterly,  eh  ? 

Thomasin. 
Doubt ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh,  things  are  getting  pretty  serious  at  Overcote, 
don't  you  think  ? 

Thomasin. 

Billy,  old  chap,  dashed  if  I  know  what  the  dooce 
is  coming  over  us  all ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

\_Sighing?[     Ah ! 

[Shuter  again  suddefily  ceases  playing,  turns, 
and  rises. 

Shuter.  , 

I  guessed  it !  [/«  great  commotion,  the  girls  rush 
to  their  places  and  resume  their  exercise.']  I've  caught 
you  !  Every  bit  of  this  shall  go  to  m'lady.  Now, 
my  lords,  no  more  nonsense,  please  !  Back  with 
those  toys  ! 

\The  girls  replace  the  clubs,  bar  bells,  and  dumb 
bells  at  the  further  end  of  the  room. 

Thomasin. 

\^To  WiLHELMINA.]  Wc've  made  the  Sergeant 
wild  now  ! 


156  THE  AMAZONS. 

WiLHELMINA. 

And  I've  no  chocolate  in  my  pocket  to  get  her 
round  again ! 

Shuter. 

\Gathering  up  the  cloaks. '\  Wiping  the  floor  with 
these  things,  too  !  Isn't  there  a  proper  place  for 
them?  Lord  Noel,  Lord  Willy — on  to  the  Bar, 
both  of  you  !  Lord  Tommy,  thirty  vaults  without 
stopping  for  wind ! 

[NoELiNE  and  WiLHELMINA  Spring  on  to  the 
horizontal-bar  and  Thomasin  comes  to 
the  vaulting-horse  as  Shuter,  carrying  the 
cloaks.,  opens  the  cupboard  door.  The  men 
appear ;  Shuter,  dropping  the  cloaks.,  ut- 
ters a  yell  of  terror  and  runs  over  to  the 
other  side  of  the  room.  There  is  a  general 
uproar,  the  girls  scream,  Tweenwayes 
running  across  the  room  is  seized  by 
Shuter  and  violently  shaken.  Escaping 
from  her,  he  makes  for  the  rope,  where  he 
meets  De  Grival,  who  has  crawled  under 
the  vaulting-horse ;  they  attempt  to  climb 
the  rope  together,  impeditig  each  other's 
progress. 

NOELINE. 

It's  Litterly! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Andre  de  Grival  ! 

Thomasin. 
Why,  Tweeny  I 


THE  AMAZONS.  157 

LiTTERLY. 

Hush  !    hush !      Come   back,    you   fellows  !      Be 
quiet,  everybody  !     I  say,  do  let  me  speak ! 

Shuter. 

\_Going  to  LiTTERLY  and  shaking  him.']     Who  are 
you  all  ?     What  are  you  doing  here  ? 

[NoELiNE  comes  down  quickly,  places  herself 
between  Litterly  and  Shuter,  and  seizes 
the  latter  by  the  collar. 

Noeline. 

You  coward,  Shuter !     Don't  you  see  Lord  Lit- 
terly's  arm  is  in  a  sling  ? 

Shuter. 

{Staring  at  Litterlv.]     Lord  Litterly  !     Oh,  my 
lord! 

Litterly. 

{^Advancing  to  Shuter.]     Hullo  !     Why  —  Letty ! 

Shuter. 

{^Hysterically.']     Oh,  m'lord,  what  is  the  meaning 
of  this? 

Litterly. 

I  say,  now  don't  upset  yourself !     I  am  glad  to 
see  you  !     {Kissing  her.] 

Noeline. 

{To  Litterly.]     Do  you  know  what  you're  do- 
ing ?     You're  kissing  our  Sergeant ! 


158  THE  AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLY. 

I  should  think  so !  Letty  Shuter  is  my  old  nurse's 
daughter;  we  were  brought  up  together  —  Letty 
was  married  from  Bambridge  Castle !  \_Kissing 
Shuter  again ^  I  should  think  I  am  kissing  your 
Sergeant!  \^Qiiietly  to  Noeline.]  Leave  her  to 
me  —  it's  all  right. 

[Thomasin,  Wilhelmina,  De  Grival,  a?id 
TwEENWAYES  are  talking  together  with 
much  animation.  Noeline  joins  them. 
Shuter  sinks  on  to  the  settee  holding  her 
heart  and  panting  ;  ILitterly  places  him- 
self beside  her. 

Litterlv. 
I  say,  Letty  dear,  how  jolly ! 

Shuter. 

Jolly !  Oh  dear,  oh  dear  !  I'll  never  get  over 
this  fright !  \_Fushing  him  away  and  attempting  to 
rise.^     You  wretch ! 

LiTTERLY. 

[J?estraining  her.'\  What,  when  I  haven't  seen 
you  for  years  ! 

Shuter. 

As  if  you  came  here  to  see  me  !  Who  are  the 
others  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

My  friends,  Lord  Tweenwayes  and  Monsieur  de 
Grival. 


THE  AMAZONS.  159 

Shuter. 

My  lords'  sweethearts  up  in  Scotland !  I've 
heard  of  it ! 

\_She  again  attempts  to  rise  ;  he  pulls  her  back 
afiii puts  his  arm  round  her  waist. 

LiTTERLY. 

Letty,  I'll  tell  you  something !  Keep  quiet ! 
[  Whispering  into  her  ear.']     I  say  —  ! 

Shuter. 

What !  Lord  Noel !  \_He  nods,  laughing^  Oh,  I 
won't  help  you,  either  of  you  ! 

\^She  again  tries  to  leave  him ;  he  rises  and 
stafids  before  her,  pushing  her  back  when- 
ever she  attcfnpts  to  rise. 

LiTTERLY. 

Letty,  be  reasonable !  What  are  you  frightened 
tibout  ?  If  I  give  you  my  word  that  I  will  person- 
ally be  answerable  for  the  perfect  behaviour  of  your 
young  gentlemen,  will  that  satisfy  you. 

Shuter. 
No 

LiTTERLY. 

Why,  Lady  Castlejordan's  away,  isn't  she  ? 

Shuter. 
She'll  be  home  to-morrow. 


i6o  '        THE   AMAZONS. 

^ — 

LiTTERLY. 

But  we  don't  intend  to  stay  till  to-morrow. 

S^UTER. 

I'll  take  care  of  that ! 

LiTTERLY. 

That's  right,  always  do  your  duty.  [Looking  at 
his  ivatch.'\  Now,  at  what  time  do  your  young  gen- 
tlemen dine  ? 

Shuter. 

A  quarter-past  eight. 

LiTTERLY. 

Then  at  a  quarter  to  eight  we  leave. 

Shuter. 
On  your  honour,  m'lord  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

Letty,  on  my  honour!  [She  rises;  he  kisses  her 
again  and  puts  her  back.']  I  atn  pleased  to  see  you. 
Gentlemen,  at  a  quarter  to  eight  punctually,  we 
clear  out.  I  have  pledged  my  word  to  that  effect  to 
my  dear  old  friend,  Mrs.  Shuter.  So,  I  warn  you, 
you  must  make  the  most  of  your  time. 

Shuter. 
[^Starting  up?\     No,  they  mustn't ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  l6i 

WiLHELMINA. 

^Running  up  to  Shuter   and  hugging  /ler.']     Oh, 
Shuter,  dear,  you've  never  been  so  nice  ! 

Thomasin. 
[^To  Shuter.]     Sergeant,  you're  a  brick  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Come  and  talk  to  Lord  Tweenwayes  and  Mon- 
sieur de  Grival ;  your  mind  will  be  so  easy. 

[Thomasin  and  Wilhelmina  take  Shuter 
to  Tweenwayes  and  De  Grival. 

NOELINE. 

[To  Litterly,  very  coldly.']     What  aid  Dr.  Flack 
say  about  your  arm  ? 

Litterly. 
Rubbed  stuff  into  it  and  made  a  frightful  fuss, 

Noeline. 
Oh,  there  isn't  any  danger,  is  there? 

Litterly. 
Not  the  slightest  —  right  in  a  week. 

Noeline, 
[^Coldly  again.]     I  knew  there  was  no  occasion  for 
you  to  be  so  alarmed. 

\_She  walks  away,  he  following  her. 


162  THE    AMAZONS. 

LiTTERLY. 

I  say,  what  have  I  done  now  ? 

NOELINE. 

Aren't  you  here  / 

LiTTERLY. 

I  came  after  Tweenwayes  and  De  Grival.  I 
didn't  expect  this  would  happen. 

NOELINE. 

As  it  has  happened,  you  might  have  had  the 
decency  to  shower  your  kisses  on  that  woman  in  the 
cupboard ! 

LiTTERLY. 

I  would  have  done  so  if  I  thought  that  you  — 

NOELINE. 

Oh,  I  don't  protest  against  the  vulgar  exhibition 
on  my  own  account,  but  I  have  young  brothers  — 

LiTTERLY. 

I  kissed  her  with  a  motive  — 

NOELINE. 

I'm  sorry  to  hear  it. 

LiTTERLY. 

My  old  nurse's  daughter  —  • 


THE  AMAZONS.  163 

NOELINE. 

Fudge ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Known  her  all  my  life  ! 

NOELINE. 

Do  your  sisters  kiss  the  head-gardener's  sons  ? 

LiTTERLY, 

Yes.     No !     \_Following  her.']     I  say ! 

[  They  sit  together  on  the  settee,  wrangling. 

Thomasin. 

[To  Shuter.]  Come  now,  Sergeant,  you  might 
oblige  a  chap  !  They've  been  on  the  roof  since  six 
o'clock. 

Shuter. 

I'd  ring  the  alarm  bell  first !  How  am  /to  get  a 
bottle  of  wine  ? 

Thomasin. 

You  could  wheedle  it  out  of  old  Parker. 

Wilhelmina. 

Do,  Shuter,  darling  !  [Taking  her  arm  coaxingly.] 
Monsieur  de  Grival  is  such  a  brave  fellow. 

Thomasin. 
So's  Tweeney  ! 


164  THE  AMAZONS. 

Shuter. 

If  I  foraged  for  cxiiybody  it  would  be  for  his  lord- 
ship over  there. 

Thomasin. 
Litterly ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

We'll  give  Lord  Litterly  his  share  —  do  ! 

Shuter. 

M'lords,  if  I  fetch  you  some  refreshments  will 
you  promise  me  faithfuHy  to  get  into  that  cupboard 
and  stop  there  till  1  come  back  ? 

All. 
Yes. 

Shuter. 

No,  no,  not  all  of  you  !  Only  my  young  gentle- 
men 1 

NOELINE. 

We  understand,  Sergeant. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Of  course  we  will. 

Thomasin. 
Good  man  1 

Shuter. 

Into  the  cupboard  then  !     Into  the  cupboard ! 

\The  three  girls  hurry  into  the  cupboard  and 
close  the  door.  Shuter  unlocks  the  door 
that  leads  from  the  room. 


THE   AMAZONS.  165 

LiTTERLY. 

\Going  to  /icf.]  I  say,  Letty,  'pon  my  word  you're 
a  good  sort. 

Shuter. 

I  wouldn't  do  this  for  any  living  soul  but  you, 
m'lord. 

l^S/ie  waits,  wiping  her  lips.  He  hesitates, 
afi?ioyed,  then  kisses  her.  As  he  does  so, 
the  cupboard  door  opens  and  Noeline 
looks  out. 

Noeline. 

[7^  herself,  indignantly.^  Ah!  [^As  Shuter  de- 
parts, LiTTERLY  turns  and  sees  Noeline.]     Oh  ! 

\_She  withdra7vs  her  head. 

LiTTERLY. 

[7<?  himself i\     Spotted  !     Just  my  luck  ! 

De  Grival, 

\Excitedly.'\  Ha,  Tweenwayes,  my  friend !  we 
are  on  the  clover  !  \_Sitting  at  the  piatw.']  Ha,  I 
enjoy  myself  like  a  deuce  ! 

[lie  plays,  rattling  off  a  gay  French  melody. 

Tweenwayes. 

\_To  himself ?\  Thomasin  is  undoubtedly  begin- 
ning to  reprard  me  with  great  warmth  !  I've  never 
felt  quite  like  this  in  my  life  ;  there's  nothing  I'm 


1 66  THE   AMAZONS. 

not  capable  of  !  \_Leaping  on  to  the  horizontal  bar 
and  swingijig  to  and  fro  a  few  times,  then  crying  out 
in  pain,  helplessly.'\     Oh!  Litterly  !  Quick! 

LiTTERLY. 

[^Going  to  him  and  taking  him  down.']     Hurt  your- 
self, Tweeny  ? 

TWEENWAYES. 

Heavens,  yes ! 

\IIe  walks  in  a  stooping  posture  to  the  settee 
and  sits,  doubled-up.  Litterly  knocks  at 
the  cupboard  door. 

Litterly. 
Lady  Noeline  !     Lady  Noeline 

NOELINE. 

\_From  within.']     What  do  you  want  ? 

Litterly. 
Please  let  me  explain  ! 

Noeline. 

[Opening  the  door,  haughtily.']     Pray  don't   think 
that  any  explanation  is  necessary. 

Litterly. 

You   see,  if    I   didn't   make  it  right  with  Letty 
Shuter  —  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  167 

NOELINE. 

Oh !  [  Coming  out  of  the  cupboard,  in  her  cloak, 
shutting  the  door  behind  her.'\  Oh,  how  I  long  for  a 
quarter  to  eight.  Overcote  —  the  park  —  our  gym. 
—  I  feel  that  nothing  will  ever  be  the  same  again  ! 

[^Pacing  about,  he  following  her  protestingly. 

Thomasin, 

\_Popping  her  head  out  of  the  cupboard ^^  Here, 
Noel! 

NOELINE. 

Go  back,  Tommy,  at  once  ! 

Thomasin. 

I  like  that !  {Coming  out  in  her  cloak,  shutting  the 
door  behifid  her  and  walking  across  to  Tweenwayes.] 
Sneak ! 

NOELINE. 

\Laying  her  head  on  the  vaulting-horse,  despair- 
ingly. ]  You  see  how  I  am  treated !  Oh,  I  wish  1 
could  undo  the  past  few  days  ! 

LiTTERLY. 

Here  !     I  say  !     Don't  cry  — ! 

\They  sit  together  on  the  vaultitig-horse. 

WiLHELMINA. 

{^Putting  her  head  out  of  the  cupboard.']  Tommy  ! 
you  know  I  can't  bear  the  dark  ! 


i68  THE  AMAZONS. 

De  Grival. 
Ah,  Wilhelmina  !     Ah,  my  pretty  girl ! 

WiLHELMINA, 

No,  no  ! 

\_He  takes  her  hand  and  brings  her  out  of  the 
cupboard.  She  is  in  her  cloak.  Thomasin 
and  TwEENWAYES  tvalk  to-and-fro. 

TWEENWAYES. 

I  assure  you,  Lady  Thomasin,  I  attach  no  impo> 
tance  whatever  to  the  slight  affray.     We  —  we  — 

Thomasin. 
Slight !      The    poacher   carried   a   loaded   stick, 
Fitton  said. 

Tweenwayes. 

Possibly.     Yes,  I  remember  dashing  it  aside. 

Thomasin. 

Lucky  for  old  Fitton  you  and  De  Grival  were  on 
the  spot. 

Tweenwayes. 

\Annoyed^     De  Grival ! 

Thomasin, 
Yes,  didn't  he  —  ? 

Tweenwayes. 

\Wavi7ig  his  hand  disdain/ully.]     My  dear  Lady 
Thomasin  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  169 

Thomasin. 
Why,  Fitton  gave  us  to  understand  — 

TWEENWAYES. 

That  De  Grival  — !     Really  ! 

\_They  walk  away  as  W^ilhelmina  and  De 
Grival  come  forward  talking  together. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Ah,  Monsieur  de  Grival,  we  —  my  sisters  and  I  — 
can't  thank  you  sufficiently. 

De  Grival. 

Ah,  please  no  —  it  thanks  itself.  Besides,  how 
small  a  thing  to  do  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

To  save  a  man's  life  !  Why,  perhaps  but  for 
Tweenwayes  and  yourself,  Fitton  would  have 
been  — 

De  Grival. 

Tweenwayes  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Tweenwayes  assisted  you,  Fitton  told  us. 

De  Grival. 
Ha  !  I  laugh  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

But  Fitton  said  — 


170  THE  AMAZONS. 

De  Grival. 

Absurd !      I    describe   it.      Fitton    was    on    the 
ground,  with  no  sense,  when  I  kick  him. 

WiLHELMINA. 

When  you  kicked  whom  ? 

De  Grival. 
Fitton. 

WiLHELMINA. 

You  kicked  poor  Fitton  ? 

De  Grival. 
No,  no,  I  mean  Tweenwayes. 

WiLHELMINA. 

Why  should  you  kick  Tweenwayes  ? 

De  Grival, 

Ah,  I  am  not  telling  it !     I  —  I  —  kick  them  all ! 
Don'  cher  know  ! 

\The  attentioti  of  De  Grival  and  Wilhel- 
MiNA,  Tweenwayes  and  Thomasin  is 
attracted  by  Noeline  a«^  Litterly,  who 
are  sitting  on  the  vaulting-horse,  their 
heads  are  dosi  together  and  Litterly's 
arm  placed  lightly  round  Noeline's     aist. 


Thomasin. 


Noel! 


THE  AMAZONS.  171 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh,  Noel ! 

Thomasin, 
Lord  Litterly  ! 

[LiTTERLY  and  Noeline  hastily  dismount  and 
face  the  others. 

Litterly. 
Eh  ?     What  —  what  ? 

Thomasin. 

\^Listening.']     Hark  !     Here's  the  Sergeant !     Get 
back  !  get  back  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

[/«  a  terrified  whisper.']     Oh,  I  didn't  know  I  was 
out! 

[7%<?  three  girls  hurriedly  return  to  the  cup- 
board;  Litterly  throws  himself  full 
length  071  to  the  settee  and  whistles  uncon- 
cernedly ;  De  Grival  resumes  his  seat  at 
the  piano,  playing  with  much  energy ; 
Tweenwayes  rushes  to  the  horizontal  bar 
and  hafigs  there,  ivifhout  motion.  Shuter 
enters,  carrying  a  tray  on  which  are  a  bot- 
tle of  hock,  some  glasses,  and  a  cake.  Lit- 
terly rises,  takes  the  tray  from  her,  and 
places  it  on  the  table.  Shuter  relocks  the 
door  and  looks  round  suspiciously,  then  she 
finds  Wilhelmina's  shoe  ivhich,  in  the 
scurry,  has  been  dropped. 


172  THE  AMAZONS. 

Shuter. 

{Picking  up  the  shoe.']  Ah,  the  deceitful  young 
devils  !  [She  opens  the  cupboard  door  ;  Noeline  re- 
enters the  room  ;  Thomasin  following  her.  Wilhel- 
MINA  appears^  timidly,  searching  for  her  shoe. 
Shuter  produces  it.]     You've  been  out ! 

Wilhelmina. 
I  must  have  been  ! 

Thomasin. 

[Coming  bet^veen  Shuter  atid  Wilhelmina.] 
Now  then !  Willy  wasn't  the  first  to  break  our 
promise.     /  was. 

Noeline. 

Nothing  of  the  kind  !  /  was  !  How  presuming 
you  are,  Tommy  ! 

Shuter. 
Oh,  you  —  you  —  you  bad  lot !     You  —  ! 

[Litterly    has  filled  the  glasses,    and    no7V 
advances  with  the  tray. 

Litterly. 

Now,  now,  now  !  We're  all  going  to  drink  Letty 
Shuter's  health. 

Shuter. 
[Mollified:]     Oh,  m'lord  —  ! 

[Litterly  hands  the  tray  from  one  to  the  other. 


THE  AMAZONS.  173 

TWEENWAYES. 

\To  WiLHELMiNA.]  After  such  Stirring  adven- 
tures, a  glass  of  champagne  is  particularly  accept- 
able. 

WiLHELMINA. 

It  isn't  champagne  ;  it's  our  dinner  hock. 

TwEENWAYES. 

\To  himself,  bitterly ?\     We  hate  hock  ! 

\He  sits  moodily.     The  girls  place  Shuter 
upon  the  vaulting-horse. 

Litterly. 

Now  !  Bumpers  !  We  drink  long  life  and  a  sec- 
ond husband  to  Letitia  Ann  Shuter ! 

Thomasin, 
Letitia  Ann  Shuter  !     Good  man ! 

WiLHELMINA  and  Noeline. 
Sergeant ! 

All, 
Sergeant  Shuter ! 

\The  toast  is  drunk  with  acclamation. 

De  Grival, 
\At  the  piano  again  excitedly?)^     Ah,  we  are  having 
a  good  time  !     If  we  danced  we  should  like  it. 


174  THE   AMAZONS. 

Thomasin. 
Yes,  yes  !     Sergeant,  rattle  off  something  for  us  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh,  no ! 

NOELINE. 

Tommy,  be  quiet ! 

Thomasin. 

''  Binding  the  Wheatsheaf  ! "     The  old  dance  we 
dug  up  at  Drumdurris  ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh,  yes  !     Shuter  knows  that ! 

[Shuter  takes  De  Grival's //<?<:<?  at  the  piano. 

TWEENWAYES. 

\_Putting  on  some  torn  and  soiled  gloves.^    We  —  we 
are  no  dancers. 

\_They  dance  a  quaint  country  dance,  beginning 
demurely  and  increasing  in  energy  as  they 
proceed.  De  Grival  is  dancing  alone, 
very  wildly  and  fantastically,  when  the 
door  opens  and  Lady  Castlejordan, 
who  has  apparently  opened  the  door  with 
a  key  attached  to  her  chatelaine,  enters  with 
MiNCHiN.  Lady  Castlejordan  stands 
as  if  stricken  ;  gradually  the  dancers  fall 
back,  with  the  exception  of  T>e  Grival, 
who  does  not  see  Lady  Castlejordan  and 
continues  dancing.     Then  he  discovers  his 


THE  AMAZONS.  175 

position  and  bolts  into  the  aipboard.  Lady 
Castlljordan  sinks  upon  the  settee,  look- 
ing hi' fore  her  with  a  fixed  stare,  and  sit- 
ting motionless.  Shuter  is  still  playing 
gaily  ;  Minchtn  goes  to  her  and  taps  her 
upon  the  shoulder ;  she  stops  playing, 
turns,  rises,  looks  round,  afid  totters  out  at 
the  door. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

What  is  it  ?  Roger  Minchin  !  I'm  going  mad, 
I  think.     What  is  it  ? 

Minchin. 

Lady  Noeline,  you  are  the  eldest  of  three,  I  still 
hope,  not  altogether  worthless  young  women.  But, 
upon  my  word,  unless  you  instantly  furnish  some 
reasonable  explanation  of  the  presence  of  these  gen- 
tlemen, I  shall  find  myself  guilty  of  wishing  that 
you  had  never  been  born. 

Noeline. 
Mother,  this  is  —  my  cousin  —  your  nephew  — 

[LiTTERLY  comes  forward. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
IStaring  at  him.']     What's  that  you  say  ? 

Nokline. 

Lord  Litterly  rendered  me  a  great  service  in 
London,  though  I  didnt  know  till  this  afternoon  to 
whom  I  was  indebted  for  it. 


176  THE  AMAZONS. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
That  young  man  at  Overcote  ! 

NOELINE. 

He  came  here  to  restore  me  a  ring  I  had  lost ;  he 
didn't  find  out  until  he  had  entered  the  park  that 
he  was  at  Overcote. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Cannot  he  make  his  own  excuses  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

No,  Lady  Castlejordan,  I  can't ;  and  I  —  I  —  I 
say,  aunt  Miriam  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Stand  away  !  Who  are  the  others  ?  There  are 
others ! 

Thomasin, 

Mater —  mater  —  Lord  Tweenwayes  —  begs  me 
to  present  him  to  you. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Tweenwayes  —  ? 

[Tweenwayes,  wlio  has  been  under  the 
vaulting-horse^  is  now  half-way  up  the 
rope.  He  bows  from  that  elevated  posi- 
tion. 

Tweenwayes. 

Lady  Castlejordan,  I  rejoice  to  find  myself  at 
Overcote  Hall.     We  —  we  — 


THE  AMAZONS.  177 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

\_To  Thomasin.]  I  see  !  The  result  of  your  stay 
at  Drumdiirris  under  Egidia's  care  !  I  am  mightily 
obliged  to  her  ! 

Tweenwayes. 
I  take  the  present  opportunity  — 

MiNCHIN. 

\_Enraged^     Come  down  ! 

[Tweenwayes  descends  rapidly. 

WiLHELMINA. 

{Faintly.l     Mother  dear  —  Monsieur  de  Grival  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
\Raising  her  head'.'\     What !  the  other  1 

WiLHELMINA. 

\_Looking  around?^     Andre  !     Andre  ! 

[MiNCHiN  opens  the  obiter  door  and  calls  De 
Grival.  No  one  appears.  The  others  call 
De  Grival  with  the  same  result.  Lit- 
terly  enters  the  cupboard  indignantly  ; 
there  is  a  short  pause  a?id  then  De  Grival 
is  shot  out  into  the  centre  of  the  room.  LlT- 
terly  re-enters  more  leisurely. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

[Glaring  at  De  Grival.]  So  that  is  —  the 
Frenchman  ? 


178  THE   AMAZONS. 

De  Grival. 

French  by  birth,  yes.  But  so  long  educated  in 
England  :  English  in  my  appearance,  manner,  voice 
—  English  to  my  backbone.  Do  I  not  play  your 
games,  follow  your  sport  —  .-* 

MiNCHiN  and  Litterly. 
Hush  !  hush  ! 


WiLHELMINA. 

\To  De  Gv.\vk\.,  presenting  him  formally.']  Mon- 
sieur Andre  de  Grival —  Lady  Castlejordan,  my 
mother. 

De  Grival. 

[Witli  a  profound  l>oze'.]  Ah,  Lady  Castlejordan, 
damitall !         [T/iere  is  a  general  protest  of  "  No  .^"] 

MiNCHIN. 

Upon  my  soul,  sir  —  ! 

De  Grival. 

Ah,  I  do  not  say  the  right  word  !  I  mistake  it  ! 
I  despair ! 

MiNCHiN  and  Litterly. 

Hush!  hush! 

De  Grival. 

I  rave  madly !  To-night  I  stab  my  throat !  Don' 
cher  know  ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  179 

WiLHELMINA. 

Oh  !        [De    Grival  is  dragged  back  by  Litterly. 

Lady  Castlejordan, 

\^Rising.'^  Roger  Minchin,  I  wish  to  speak  to  my 
eldest  child.  Take  these  gentlemen  away  for  a  few 
moments.  [Minchin  beckons  the  men,  who  quietly 
retire  into  the  cupboard.']  Noel !  [Minchin //a^w  a 
chair  for  Lady  Castlejordan.]  Noel,  I  went  to 
town  to  receive  a  statement  from  Florence  Vipont's 
maid,  Dawkins. 

Noeline. 

Oh  !     Treacherous  creature  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

The  woman  declares  you  sallied  out  the  other 
night  in  young  Robert  Vipont's  clothes.     Is  it  true  ? 

Noeline. 

Perfectly.  Surely  _>v;«  can  have  no  objection  to 
such  a  proceeding,  mother  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Noel! 

Minchin. 
[^Shaking  a  finger  at  Lady  Castlejordan.]  Hah  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

But  you  didn't  return  till  early  morning,  according 
to  Dawkins.  You've  never  heard  me  say  I  like  that 
in  a  young  man  ? 


i8o  THE   AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

No,  mother,  but  I  got  mixed  up  in  a  street-fight, 
through  protecting  a  girl  from  a  brute  who  was  go- 
ing to  hit  her.     I  punched  him,  mother  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
What? 

MiNCHIN. 

You  did  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
In  the  public  street  ?     Before  people  ? 

NOELINE. 

You've  had  me  taught  to  do  such  things ! 

MiNCH'N. 

Hah! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
In  the  presence  of  strangers  —  never  ! 

NOELINE. 

After  I'd  done  it  I  ran  away,  and  fainted  in  a  by- 
turning. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Fainted !     My  —  son  ! 

NOELINE. 

But,  luckily,  Lord  Litterly  came  along  and  picked 
me  up  and  carried  me  home  to  his  lodgings  — 


THE  AMAZONS.  i8l 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Oh  !     My  daughter  ! 

[MiNCHiN  joins  WiLHELMiNA  and  Thoma- 
SIN,  and  talks  with  them. 

NOELINE. 

This  morning  he  recognised  me  in  Chesham 
Street  and  followed  me  here  to  return  a  ring  I'd 
dropped  in  his  room. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
\Pacing  to  and  fro.  ]     Disgraceful !  disgraceful ! 

Noeline. 

Yes,  mother,  it  is  disgraceful !  But  it  will  serve 
everybody  a  good  turn  if  it  teaches  us  that,  after  all, 
your  children  are  nothing  but  ordinary,  weak,  affec- 
tionate, chicken-hearted  young  women ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Noel! 

Noeline. 

{Stamping  her  foot.]  No !  Noeline  from  this 
moment !     Noeline  !     Noeline ! 

MiNCHIN. 

Lady  Castlejordan,  I  really  think  it  due  to  Lord 
Tweenwayes  and  Monsieur  de  Grival  that  you 
should  know  they  have  stood  you  in  good  stead 
during  your  absence. 


l82  THE  AMAZONS. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
Mr.  Minchin  ? 

MiNCHIN. 

As  the  result  of  their  perfectly  inexcusable  pres- 
ence in  your  park,  old  Fitton  the  keeper  has  been 
rescued  from  the  murderous  clutches  of  a  most  de- 
termined poacher  — 

Thomasin. 

Quite  true,  mater  —  Tweenwayes  may  be  bred  a 
bit  too  fine,  but,  in  an  emergency,  he's  a  demon. 

WiLHELMINA. 

You  should  hear  what  Fitton  says  of  Andr^, 

Minchin. 
I'll  enquire  about  this.  \_He goes  out. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Fitton  or  no  Fitton,  this  shameful  introduction  of 
men  into  Overcote  —  ! 

Thomasin. 
If  we're  boys,  we  must  have  pals ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

The  misery  is  we're  neither  one  thing  nor  the 
other  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

In  the  gymnasium  !  Dancing !  [Looking  rou?id.'\ 
And  drinking ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  183 

Thomasin. 

A  bottle  of  Rudesheimer.  If  one  man  can't  give 
another  a  glass  of  wine  —  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

{Furiously?^  Into  your  frocks !  Into  your 
frocks ! 

WiLHELMINA,  ThOMASIN  and  NOELINE. 

Frocks ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Into  your  frocks  !  \_Sinking  into  the  chair.']  And 
never,  never,  never  come  out  of  them  ! 

[Thomasin  and  Wilhelmina^^  to  the  door.] 

WiLHELMINA. 

{^Sobbing.]  I  —  I  —  I've  felt  ashamed  of  my  ap- 
pearance for  ever  so  long  !     I  own  it.     \_She  goes  out. 

Thomasin. 

{Rebelliously.']  All  right,  turn  me  into  a  girl ! 
But  look  here,  I  shall  be  just  the  sort  of  young  lady 
that's  likely  to  be  an  awful  failure  in  the  end  ! 

\_She  goes  out. 

NOELINE.      .^ 

\_Poiniing  to  the  cupboard?;^  Mother,  don't  forget 
they're  in  there. 


Lady  Castlejordan. 
Ah,  I  had  forgotten. 


V* 


i84  THE  AMAZONS. 

NOELINE. 

I  —  I  hope  you'll  —  like  Litterly. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
You  hope  I  will  like  —  {suddenly]  do  you  1 

KOELINE. 

Yes.  \_She  goes  out. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Noeline  !  Come  back !  Is  it  possible  ?  My 
brain  reels  !  \_She  goes  to  the  door,  o/^ens  a?id  shuts 
it,  then  goes  and  opens  the  cupboard  door.  Calling 
sternly.']  Lord  Tweenwayes  —  Monsieur  de  Grival 
—  Lord  Litterly.  [Tweenwayes  appears,  encounters 
Lady  Castlejordan  and  retreats.]  Lord  Tween- 
wayes ! 

[Tweenwayes  appears  again,  bows  appre- 
hensively to  Lady  Castlejordan,  and 
sidles  round  the  cupboard  door.  De 
Grival  enters,  bows  to  Lady  Castlejor- 
dan, and  edging  away  from  her.  Joins 
Tweenwayes.     Litterly  enters. 

Litterly. 
\_Meekly.]     You  desire  to  —  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

To  demand  that  you  instantly  leave  Overcote  and 
to  tell  you  that  I  can  find  no  words  in  which  — 

Litterly. 
Aunt  Miriam  — ! 


THE  AMAZONS.  185 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Aunt !  How  dare  you  remind  me  of  our  relation- 
ship !     How  dare  you  —  ! 

\_Pausing  and  staring  at  him. 

LiTTERLY. 

Eh?     You're  not  well  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Have  you  ever  been  told  that  you  have  your  late 
uncle's  eyes  ? 

LiTTERLY. 

My  father  often  says  I  recall  his  brother  Jack. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Why,  if  your  hair  wasn't  quite  so  short  —  and  if 
it  was  curly  just  there  —  and  if  you  were  an  inch 
taller  —  and  hadn't  such  an  odious  town  air  —  oh  ! 

\_She  grasps  his  arms  impulsively.,  then  falls 
back  with  an  exclajnation. 

LiTTERLY. 

Aunt ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

\_Again  grasping  his  arms. "]  Pardon  me  !  \_Lea7'- 
ing  him.'\  Mercy !  His  muscles  are  like  my 
Jack's ! 

MiNCHiN  enters, 


1 86  THE  AMAZONS. 

MiNCHIN. 

\_To  Lady  Castlejordan.]  My  dear  Lady  Cas- 
tlejordan,  Fitton  happened  to  be  in  the  game- 
larder.  He  certainly  has  told  me  a  story  of  almost 
incredible  dash  and  presence  of  mind  on  the  part  of 
Lord  Tweenwayes  and  Monsieur  de  Grival  — 

Lady  Castlejordan, 

\^To  MiNCHiN.]  Yes,  yes,  yes.  Mr,  Minchin, 
don't  you  see  an  extraordinary  likeness  in  Litterly 
to  my  Jack  ? 

Minchin. 
There  is  a  suggestion  — 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

A  suggestion  !  Mr,  Minchin,  what —  what  ought 
I  to  do  ,''  \_A  deep  gong  sounds  in  the  distance. 

Minchin, 

Dinner  !  What  ought  you  to  do  ?  Begin  at  once 
to  distract  your  girls'  thoughts  from  the  follies  of 
the  past !  Demonstrate  with  as  little  delay  as 
possible  that  you  can  be  a  reasonable  mother! 
\_Glandng  towards  the  men.']     Ask  'em  to  dine. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
What! 

Minchin. 

They're  all  more  or  less  injured ;  they  must  be  all 
more  or  less  hungry ;  be  more  or  less  hospitable. 


THE  AMAZONS.  187 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
No,  no ;  if  I  ask  anybody  it  shall  be  only  Litterly. 

MiNCHIN. 

Why  only  Litterly  ? 

Lady  Castlejordan. 
He's  so  like  my  Jack  !     He's  so  like  my  Jack ! 

MiNCHIN. 

You  can't  invite  one  blackguard  without  the 
others. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

A  blackguard !     When  he  is  so  like  my  Jack  ! 

NoELiNE,     Wilhelmina,     a7id      Thomasin     enter 
dressed  in  demi-toilette  for  din?ier. 

MiNCHIN. 

[^Triumphantly /\     Hah  !  hah  ! 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

\_To  MiNCHIN,  pro2idly.'\  Oh,  yes,  aren't  they 
beautiful  girls!  [Addressing  ike  three  men.]  Lord 
Tweenwayes,  Lord  Litterly,  Monsieur  de  Grival,  as 
you  see,  I  am  still  in  my  early-morning  gown.  On 
the  score  of  dress  therefore  I  beg  you  will  have  no 
hesitation  in  giving  me  the  honour  of  your  company 
at  dinner. 

[  The  girls ^  uttering  little  cries,  sit  sziddetily 
upon  the  settee. 


1 88  THE  AMAZON^. 

TWEENWAYES. 

Lady  Castlejordan  — ! 

De  Grival. 
Ah,  I  shall  delight  to  eat ! 

LiTTERLY. 

You're  very  good,  my  dear  aunt ! 

\The  girls  rise  and  gather  round  their  another, 
kissing  and  embracing  her. 

NOELINE. 

Oh,  mother ! 

WiLHELMINA. 

Mother  dear ! 

Thomasin. 

Good  business  ! 

[LiTTERLY   and  Minchin    meet   and  shake 
hafids. 

De  Grival. 
[^Flourishing  the  Indiati  clubs ^     La,  la,  la ! 

Tweenwayes. 

[Swinging  on    the    horizontal    bar."]      We    carry 
everything  before   us!  I27ie  gong  sounds  again. 


\ 


The  AMAZONS.  1^9 

Lady  Castlejordam. 

Lord  Tweenwayes  — 

[TwEENWAYES  cotncs  with  great  dignity  to 
Lady  Castlejordan.  The  girls  fall 
back. 

Lady  Castlejordan. 

Lord  Litterly  —  Lady  Noeline.  Monsieur  de 
Grival  —  Lady  Wilhelmina.  Mr.  Minchin  —  Lady 
Thomasin. 

\The  couples  are  formed,  arid  all  go  out  sedately. 


THE    END 


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